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22 comments

Erin Davis

When All Else Fails . . . Throw Flour

Posted on 04.14.10 by Erin Davis | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti
Topics: Homefront, With Your Kids

I’d been having a really bad day. You know, the kind of day where everything that possibly can go wrong, does. My toddler had thrown one too many fits, my baby needed a little too much of my attention, lunch was burning on the stove, and my house looked like a toy bomb had gone off . . . After a while little things seemed huge and I started feeling really stressed and frustrated. My blood started to boil. I wanted to blow my top. I wanted to yell at my family. I wanted to curl up on the couch and feel sorry for myself. I wanted to wallow in the notion that God didn’t give a hoot. But, I didn’t. I threw flour instead.

Let me explain.

When we are feeling stressed and stretched to the max, there are lots of destructive ways we can respond. We can lash out at our husbands and children. We can medicate ourselves with food, or shopping, or the Internet. We can look to our human relationships to soothe us. We can turn to substances like drugs or alcohol looking for a high to counteract our lows. We can vent. We can bail. We can sink into despair. Or we can cling to God’s Truth and find a way to keep on going.

When my day got uber-stressful, I felt myself starting to believe the lies of the Enemy. My problems seemed insurmountable. My stress felt unmanageable. My family felt like the enemy. Instead of lashing out or losing control, I found a way to get a grip. I grabbed the huge bucket of flour I was using to cook with, hauled it outside, and called for my husband and son. We took turns lobbing flour at each other, and before long we were laughing so hard, the stress we were facing just melted away.

When it was all said and done (it took us an hour to sweep up all the flour), I was reminded that living out God’s Truth is a choice. Stress is part of life. Bad days will come. Defeat and despair will always knock at the doors of our hearts. We can react in ways that hurt ourselves or our families, or we can find a way to keep going and cling to the hope God offers us in His Word.

You don’t have to throw flour to get through your own stress. You can take a walk, call up a friend, go pick flowers, knit, draw, sing, dance . . . the possibilities are endless. The point is to do something constructive that allows you to take a breath and get some fresh perspective.

What are some constructive ways you like to de-stress?

Comments

  1. I like bubbles...my children and I go outside (sometimes we let daddy in on the fun too) and we blow bubbles. Well, I blow them and the children run after them. It is relaxing for me (because, well, you have to take deep breaths and sometimes I don't have time to really breathe). I love watching my children run and play and just being children and I wish sometimes that I could just be as free as they are. They have no worries or cares. Their worst problem is that they have to eat their beans or they have to come in from outside because it's getting dark.

    Another thing that we do as a family is put the children (ages 3 and 18 months) in their Red Radio Flyer Wagon and daddy pulls and mommy lags behind so they don't jump out and we go for a walk through our neighborhood. Occasionally, we will stop and speak with our neighbors. Mostly, we go for a ways and we turn around and come back home.

    So that's how we "roll" (with the punches) in South Carolina.
    posted by Jodi C.
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 7:48 am
  2. Thanks for sharing this story. Throwing flour does sound like a lot more fun, and more productive than throwing punches! I needed this reminder. I have found that the best way for me to turn my negative attitiude around is to turn on some praise and worship music and sing to the King. It's pretty hard to continue in self-pity when I take my eyes off myself and focus on God and all that He has done for me. In fact, I just turned on The Getty's :)
    posted by Brenda
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 9:12 am
  3. I've always fancied throwing my mug at the TV - hubby is aware of this feeling and will remove the mug from my hands if he sees that glint in my eye! Baking bread is the most constructive way I know to get rid of pent up tension & chatting to God about it at the same time. By the bread is kneaded the prayers have usually calmed as well.
    TCSOKO.wordpress.com
    posted by Tracey
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 9:20 am
  4. This blog made me smile. I find it hard to roll with the punches, I take everything so serious. I'm so thankful for today's message and telling me there are other ways to releave my stress. Please pray that I learn to lighten up and turn to God for help.

    Cynthia in Fort Wayne
    posted by Cynthia Williams
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 9:36 am
  5. I love this post! I think just going outside in the sunshine (at least this time of year) is a good way to melt the stress away. A little vitamin D never hurts! Also, I think it was Jonathan Edwards mother that would crouch in the corner with her skirt pulled up over here head(I am sure she was wearing a petticoat or something else underneath!) and pray. It was at those times that her children knew not to bother her. Sometimes we just need to work some of the stress out in the corner talking to Jesus!
    www.adiamondntherough.blogspot.com
    posted by Jessica
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 9:45 am
  6. I find that when I am most stressed with the kids, it is because I am trying to conquer the world. Often when I get the feelings of being overwhelmed and angry, I have to step back and evaluate. Am I pushing to do something today that I can set aside?

    Let's face it, children don't always mix well with a busy agenda. Instead of taking it out on the children maybe we should look at the agenda!
    posted by Jerra
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 10:17 am
  7. I'm one of those Type-A-plus people, intense to the max, no matter what I'm doing. It's how God created me, so I'm learning to adapt to His gift.

    What I've discovered is that I am intense about anything and everything. I'm passionate about what I'm doing at the moment -- anyone else out there like me? So, in order to heal after recent burn-out (and to avoid future burnout), I've had to cut one-third of my activities/responsibilities so I can just focus on priorities: God, family, personal health, ministry. (Others might put those in another order, but I'm finding that if I don't take care of myself, I don't HAVE ministry.) I'm learning to balance service and rest--both are important. Caring for self includes what I take in (more TV or more meditation in God's Word? Hmmm), what I eat, exercise, rest, and time to laugh ... and this post made me laugh today. Thanks, Erin!

    I may not throw some flour ... but I'm going to do something fun. Go shopping? No, that might create more stress on my wallet!

    We all need a release valve for stress. For me, it's often an attitude adjustment. I remind myself that I'm on a great adventure with God, and He is my strength (Hab. 3:19). And then I compare what I'm doing/feeling with scriptures, to be sure that I'm not believing a lie.

    Focusing on the Truth of scripture and worshiping God always helps... it helps me remember that it's all about God, anyway. He's the King of the Universe -- not me!
    http://heartchoicestoday.blogspot.com
    posted by Dawn Wilson
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 10:45 am
  8. I am a home school mom. Need I say more about the stress of children? I appreciate the reminder today, Erin.
    posted by Jessica
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 11:59 am
  9. Well, I had a super stressful day at work once and it was so unbearable - I went out and screamed at the trees!!!

    Didn't do any harm! (Got a few funny looks though)


    Judy
    posted by judy
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 12:20 pm
  10. I usually turn into a mean control freak and then everything really does go wrong, until i collapse in tears at God's throne, the place I should have gone first. Lately, I have been overwhelmed. They say a woman's work is never done, and boy do I feel it. There is always something to be done. Part of my stress is that I feel that it all needs to be done in order for me to rest and relax and be happy. This, of course is impossible, and not true, and I end up a cranky mess. It is funny how God works, because it seems that it is at those times that my children ask me to jump on the trampoline with them, or my dogs need to be played with. These are stress relievers for me. But too often I tell my kids later, and neglect my dogs. Thanks for the reminder. I definately needed it.
    posted by sarah
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 12:20 pm
  11. This post could not have been better timed! I spent most of yesterday in tears or close to it. I'm a homeschool mom of seven with the oldest ones just entering the teen years, and all I can see right now are the mistakes I've made in parenting them. There have been plenty, to be sure, but I forget that God knew I would be imperfect when He put them in our family, and that His grace is sufficient for all He's called me to do.

    One of the best ways I've found to de-stress is to apologize with sincerity, ask forgiveness, and hold my "babies" close when all I really want to do is scream! There's something wonderful and humbling to hear my children praying for me when I'm having a bad day. Even they know it's too big not to take to God.

    Keep up the great posts! I can't wait to see you all in Indianapolis!
    posted by Kari W.
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 1:23 pm
  12. This post could not have been better timed! I spent most of yesterday in tears or close to it. I'm a homeschool mom of seven with the oldest ones just entering the teen years, and all I can see right now are the mistakes I've made in parenting them. There have been plenty, to be sure, but I forget that God knew I would be imperfect when He put them in our family, and that His grace is sufficient for all He's called me to do.

    One of the best ways I've found to de-stress is to apologize with sincerity, ask forgiveness, and hold my "babies" close when all I really want to do is scream! There's something wonderful and humbling to hear my children praying for me when I'm having a bad day. Even they know it's too big not to take to God.

    Keep up the great posts! I can't wait to see you all in Indianapolis!
    posted by Kari W.
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 2:54 pm
  13. I clean! When I first got married....(a long time ago) :) my friends told me if they came over to visit and the house was clean, they would know we had been fighting!! :)
    posted by linda
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 2:56 pm
  14. Dear Erin,

    Your story and that precious picture just made me hope to meet you someday. Of course listening to you on the program (ROH radio) has done that job as well but I felt a connection with you, after reading that *chuckles*! Here's why:

    About 5 years ago when my oldest was still small, I was suffering under the gray weather of the beginning of winter. I have this cousin who lived not too far from me then, and called her bemoaning my dread of more darkness to come. Which led to, inviting her and her lad over. The day they came was, yet another, dark dreary day... go figure. The boys ended up feeling very cooped up. I then remembered; I had a huge bucket of flour that had gone 'bad'... like yours??

    So, I said (without thinking); Boys would you like to make sand castles with flour??

    You should have seen her face, she looked mortified. I have to note right here, before we get to the end of my story: She never came for another visit again, nor called back. Even though I later apologized for my lack of 'grown up-ed-ness'.

    Those boys, however, had a grand old time and my kitchen showed the evidence of it for months afterward. Do you know how long it takes to sweep, mop, vacuume and wipe that stuff up?

    ... Me either. I lost track of how loooong it was. But I have to say, it does take some honest hard work, that I do remember!!

    All told, it was one of the most fun and carefree things I'd done for a long time. It took that gray away and replaced it with three very content and silly children (me being the third).

    Do we think life needs to cling to pressure? Do we think that 'lightness' and silly harmless fun is 'wrong'? Hold it up to scripture. If something is cramping our delight to share our faith, or our gentleness in tongue or care for our children, is it promoting a sinless life? Or fueling the fire of the sinful flesh nature?

    God bless you dear sisters.

    Hello to dear Judy and sweet Leslie S!

    Kari W, now wish I was going to Indy, just so I could have a good talk with you! I home school also. I heard ya loud n' clear. I too joy in holding them close, hearing them pray for each other and their rotten (but forgiven by grace) mamma (I'm not saying you're rotten, you sound terrific). I have many times asked them to forgive me, in earnest and with tears. My greatest hope for them is that their walk reflects ever more of Christ's than mine ever could.

    Peace, love n' blessings all.
    posted by Jenny
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 3:30 pm
  15. Felt this way today! I went running...praying and reciting memorized Scripture until self-pity was squashed and I was thankful.
    Sweet victory!
    posted by Joanne
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 7:55 pm
  16. I enjoyed this post and comments. A few days ago, at a gardening workshop they also used flower. That flour was used for footprints.
    I teach 1st grade and many days I need a walk to breath and to pray to the Lord. When I walk and talk to the Lord I begin to feel "more human' again and learn to relax and let God work.

    I also keep working on keeping things light especially with the Spring weather and all the children wanting to be out and flying with the birds and butterflies. Some days, I want to see more through my little ones eyes and less through my 'old age' eyes.

    One day I want to curl up with Jesus and say thank you for all He's done for me and in me.
    It will be so sweet!
    posted by Kathryn
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 9:29 pm
  17. I too am a homeschooling mom, and right now the feeling of overwhelmed is upfront in our faces. I know I have to remember that God holds the only measuring stick of which I need to be concerned. Not the local district or the scope and sequence of the books I use. "His praise shall continually be in my mouth" has always been a desire for me, but, also a struggle. I have recently found in my present state of perimenopause, where I thought I was losing my memory, that if I exercise for at least 30 minutes each morning. I have less stress and more memory. PTL !! So, now I have two private hours in my day...devotions and exercise. Well, not actually private, nine children don't just all disappear, but, they know not to interrupt me if I am in my chair for devotions, or under my prayer shawl. May God keep us faithful in service to Him. And may we see Jesus in each training step of the way.
    posted by Sheri
    on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 10:23 pm
  18. Erin,
    Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish I had read it yesterday. It was one of those days. I have a 22 month old and a 5 month old, both girls. I'm thinking that your children are around those ages?? It can be super stressful at times even though there's nothing I'd rather be doing then being at home with my girls. Thanks for the reminder not to take out our frustrations on our family members.
    I loved the picture!!
    posted by Melissa Marasco
    on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 8:13 am
  19. Thank you for sharing Erin. I can see how you changed the situation for GOOD! And that takes alot of self controll because the easy thing to do is sit and sulk in self pity or anger. Thank you for having such a personable post that all of us can relate to! It's a great reminder that we do have a choice to make things good!
    posted by Rachael
    on Thursday, April 15, 2010 at 2:06 pm
  20. I been having a rough morning with my 7 year old daughter. And its good to know that we all have days where theres good days and bad days! I need to come up here often, its nice reading stories of mom's up here!
    posted by Ryan's
    on Thursday, May 20, 2010 at 9:40 am
  21. I have an adult daughter who wants to tell me everything but does not want me to say anything....I need to ask God to seal my lips. It was so much easier when she was small and listened to me. When she trusted me.....Now she does neither. Please God, soften her heart to your word. Help her to Trust in You. Help her to know You. I have done all I can...

    Oh for the days of kids running and screaming through the house.....
    posted by Carrie
    on Monday, December 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm
  22. Thank you for sharing this... I really felt good. :).
    http://michieruku.blog.friendster.com/
    posted by Michelle Lynne Veloso
    on Monday, January 24, 2011 at 10:54 pm

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