“How far is too far?” How much can I mess around with my boyfriend before I cross the line? That’s the question that Christian girls usually ask. But I don’t think a young woman can figure out where to draw the line until she figures out why God created sex and what it’s all about. In this Girls Gone Wise video book blog, you’ll discover the reason for sex, and also you’ll see that the “how far is too far” question isn’t the best one to ask. Whether you’re unmarried or married, there’s a much better question about your sexuality that you ought to be asking.
1. Read the tenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 135-151).
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection.
3. Post your comments on the Blog.
• Which quote from the book do you think best explains why God created sex?
• Why do you think that wrongful sexual conduct is so offensive to the Lord?
• How does an unmarried woman tell the story? How does a married women tell it?
• Has this chapter caused you to think differently about sex? How do you think it will affect your sexual conduct?
Leave a Comment:
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Comments
I had never thought about sex in the way it was presented in this chapter. Thank you Mary once again for putting it all in perspective for us and how we are to live holy and pleasing lives!
God Bless You!
on Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm
on Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 6:47 pm
would you please make sure the link on the
"Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection" is working?
blessinsgs
on Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 11:24 am
on Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 11:53 am
WOW! Again, another excellent chapter. I will never think of intimacy in marriage the same way. WOW, wow. Thank you so much, Mary. The Biblical truths presented in this chapter are amazing. It never ceases to amaze me how I can think I understand something, until the Lord sends me His Word in a deeper way, through a vessel (in this case Mary, Titus 2) who can instruct me more perfectly in the ways of righteousness.
Let me give you a little testimony concerning all this. I was tempted to skip this chapter. Actually, originally, I was tempted to skip this book. Never judge a book by its cover; never judge a chapter by its title... sisters, this book is wonderful and profound, something I wish you all could read and ingest! So deep and helpful for women. And this chapter -- so meaningful. I thought perhaps reading it might cause me to be thinking too much about "sex" and whatever the culture has to say about it, and whatever I've already purged my mind from. Wrong. To the contrary, this chapter has given me a beautiful -- I mean lovely -- fresh vision of what the Lord has for me, and every married woman (and it's good for singles to have an understanding of all this, too!) in the part of my/our marriages called intimacy! I will never look at it the same way and am so awed by the beauty of its meaning, after reading this chapter! Thank you Jesus!
To answer the above questions:
* There are so many awesome quotes in this chapter, it is really hard for me to limit it to one. I will give one, but ladies, check out pages 137 (last paragraph), p. 140, p. 142 (last paragraph), p. 143, p. 144 (top partial paragraph), p. 146 (1st paragraph, my quote), p. 148 (2nd paragraph), p. 150 (last paragraph).
" Married or unmarried, a woman's sexual behavior is to present an image of the purity, faithfulness, and exclusivity of the church-bride to her one and only beloved Bridegroom. God takes marriage and sex very, very seriously. The Bible teaches that God intends sex to consummate the marriage covenant, and not to precede marriage. The Lord wants us to cherish and set apart sex to bear testimony to this exclusive, till-death-do-us-part relationship. This honors what sex is all about." (p. 146)
I don't have time to write more now but may try to come back to answer the other questions.
Eph. 5:25, 31-32 (from your chapter!)
Blessings,
on Saturday, June 26, 2010 at 11:32 am
on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I’m so glad you’ve joined us for the Girls Gone Wise series.
While there is no short answer to your question, I want to give several suggestions that will give you direction in the next several years.
• The man you marry must be a Christian. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
• You’ll want the counsel and prayers of your parents and other older, godly individuals as you seek God’s best for you. ( Prov. 11:14)
• As you read God’s Word look for character traits that describe a godly man – these are the traits you’ll be looking for in a husband once you reach marriageable age. (For example from Ephesians 5 – a man who is pure and not immoral in his thoughts and actions; a man who is not greedy or materialistic but who cares for the needs of others and is generous).
• Spend your time now focusing on becoming a godly young woman who will become a godly wife one day. Focusing on your relationship with Jesus is the place to start.
When you get a chance check out the Lies Young Women Believe Blog at www.LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com and www.PureFreedom.org to find out more about your relationship with Jesus and guys.
on Wednesday, July 14, 2010 at 6:21 pm
I will check out PureFreedom in just a few, and I already go on LiesYoungWomenBelieve a LOT! Just check the posts for comments that are under the name Confused Christian and are like essay-worthy long! Haha :)
Thanks again! :)
on Wednesday, July 14, 2010 at 8:32 pm
My boyfriend and I are both Christian. He is almost 18 and I am 17. We have been together for 7 months but have known each other since we were 7. My parents right now are being very protective (and rightly so) of me and my physical intimacy with him. They want to keep me pure. Right now they only allow hugging between us. I was wondering about your thoughts on us holding hands and kissing and whether that would still be pure. (that's all. we both want to stay pure and NOT push the boundaries). But right now they are not allowing anything between us.
Your thoughts on this would be very helpful. Thank you.
on Thursday, March 21, 2013 at 12:31 am
Thank you for your post. We appreciate the privilege to speak into your life. I can understand your desire to want to stay pure but also express your affection to one another. While you are 17, and under your parents’ direction, I wonder if the question should be “how can we abide under my parents’ directives?” instead of “can we remain pure?” while holding hands and kissing. Your parents’ allowance for hugging is undoubtedly directed by hearts that long for you to stay pure. They take seriously the charge to “train you” in the way you should go. Yield to their wishes and accept them with gratitude.
In their book "Lies Young Women Believe", Nancy DeMoss and Dannah Gresh write about how to respond to your parents when you don’t agree with their decisions. I believe this will be a great help to you as you consider what you and your boyfriend should do. Here are their wise words:
*Remember that every human authority ultimately answers to God and that God is big enough to change your parents' (or teacher's or boss') hearts if that is needed (Prov. 21:1). Learn to trust in God and His sovereign plan; remember that He is able to override any mistakes your parents could make.
*Check your attitude, and ask forgiveness for any wrongdoing on your part. Ask God to show you if you are being stubborn, rebellious, or disrespectful in any way. If you've been guilty of pride, grumbling, or stomping around and you confess your bad attitude to your parents, it will go a long way in your parents feeling like they can trust you. (They may also be willing to acknowledge their own mistakes.)
*Invest in your relationship with your parents. When was the last time you wrote your mom or dad a note, invited them to go out for ice cream, or offered to help with chores around the house? If you let them know you're invested in them, communication will likely improve and problems will be easier to solve.
*Talk to the Lord about it. Ask Him to change your parents' hearts if they are wrong. Ask Him to give you grace to respond with the right heart attitude and wisdom to know the right thing to do in the circumstance. Then give Him time to work in both your lives.
*Make an appeal. That's what Daniel did when the king ordered him to eat food he knew God didn't want him to eat. He respectfully proposed an alternative plan. The king granted his appeal, and God protected Daniel from having to make a sinful choice (Dan. 1:5–16). Respectfully ask your parents if they would be willing to make a different decision. Unless what they are asking you to do is sinful, let them know you will submit to their authority, regardless of what they decide.
*Choose to obey your parents, even when you disagree with them, unless they require you to do something that is forbidden in the Scripture or prohibit you from doing something the Scripture commands. Remember that even Jesus, who was the sinless Son of God, was once a teenager and had to deal with obeying His earthly parents. They were sinful and sometimes made mistakes, but He still obeyed them (Luke 2:51).
God bless you, Bethany, as you grow to maturity in Christ and respond rightly to this challenge.
P. S. One of our blogs has information you might find interesting concerning what psychologists now say about the power of a kiss: http://www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/index.php?id=744.
on Thursday, March 21, 2013 at 7:14 pm