Have you ever thought about how often celebrities and dignitaries credit
their moms when receiving an award? "First of all, I'd like to thank my
mom . . ."
What is that all about? Why, at the height of recognition, do many turn to thank their moms?
You may never think about it, but every time you turn on a light bulb you can be thankful for an inventor by the name of Thomas Edison. He is credited with thousands of inventions. And do you know to whom he gave credit? The mom who homeschooled him!
"My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint." —Thomas Edison
I would say that Nancy Edison held a great position of power and
influence in young Thomas' life, an inventor who greatly impacted our
nation and even the world. And she lived in a period before the popular
feminist movement—she died before women were even granted the right to
vote!
If you study the history of feminism, much of the rhetoric centers
around women's sense of powerlessness or the perception that they have
less "power" than men.
But is that an accurate perception?
Consider these lines are from a portion of William Ross Wallace's poem written in 1865:
"They say that man is mighty; he governs land and sea.
He wields a mighty scepter o'er lesser powers that be.
But the mightier power the stronger man from his throne is hurled.
For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."
The hand that rocks the cradle . . . rules the world?
Yep! And we have an up-close example of that kind of influential power
in Scripture. In Proverbs 31 we are able to "sit in on" a mother-son
training session. Jewish tradition states that this particular son-in-training was one of the most famous and successful rulers—known far and
wide for his wealth and wisdom—King Solomon. This mom evidently made a
powerful impact on the future king.
In the past fifty years, women may have obtained more "rights," but I
don't know that those "rights" provide any greater power than that which
comes from inspiring, motivating, and training their own children.
"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her" (Proverbs 31:25–28).
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Comments
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 7:17 am
I've heard that same quote and someone indicated that Abraham Lincoln used that line in a speech. Now I know who the author is.
My mother has been with the Lord for nearly 25 years and her influence continues. She used our home to encourage the friends of her children. There were 3 kids in my family, but there were many others that seemed to live wth us since their parents worked and left teens alone all summer.
This past week a friend called ,who has 4 children in her 20's. She told me how much it meant to her when my mother challenged her to wait a year before marrying and to get out of debt.
As a single lady, I also try to use my home for others. You'll never know the influence you'll have in the lives of others.
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 8:00 am
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 8:32 am
You are so right. We never know the influence we will have on others. That's why we should be the best that we can be at all times; giving God the glory (and our moms; respectively, of course!)
I think its of utmost importance for us to put our children FIRST in our lives instead of "working them in" when we get a chance. I think many of us are guilty of planning our schedules and including the things first that we enjoy doing; and then try to work our children in later. I dont think that's the way God intended. Thank you for the encouragement to put my children first in my life!
God Bless
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 8:37 am
Titus 2; you are a constant encouragement to me.
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 11:42 am
I agree with Annie, we have allowed our culture to shift our focus from "them" to "us" and frankly, when doing so, that is when our power as women lessen. Women's strength has always been in our ability to provide and serve, not to take.
It's funny how when society sees a man who serves and provides, he is someone who is special and altruistic and when women do the same, we are repressed.
Thank you for the post! I find myself at times giving in to thoughts of the world and forgetting myself the power God has given me as a helper and server. You have renewed me today!
Many thanks again,
Elizabeth
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm
This is all so confusing to me! I have always respected Billy Graham and his ministry but was always taught it was not biblical for women to be in leadership position within the church. I would really like someone to explain to me what is and is not biblical concerning a woman's role in the ministry.
Everything I read seems to be contradictory. I read my bible daily and I want to grow in Christ, I just know what is right and wrong anymore.
Thanks in advance for anyone that can clear this up for me.
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 1:27 pm
As a guard against even the appearance of wrongdoing. Billy Graham had a policy that he would never be alone with a woman, other than his wife Ruth. This has come to be known as the Billy Graham Rule. Rev. Rick Warren], and NFL quarterback Kurt Warner have claimed to follow the rule. Warner wrote in his book that he first applied the Billy Graham Rule in his marriage by not driving the babysitter home alone.
This is GREAT Godly advice to women
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 1:45 pm
On the other hand, 1 Timothy 2:12 CLEARLY states: "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
So does this mean it's ok ONLY for woment to teach other women (not men or not with men) and children?
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Thank you so much for your comment and honesty as you grapple through these issues. First of all, let me encourage you to read these articles on women's roles in the church:
http://www.truewoman.com/?id=721
http://www.truewoman.com/?id=722
http://www.truewoman.com/?id=723
I discuss the issue of Priscilla as well as other questions on this topic. You might find it helpful to read the comments under each post as well.
Also, please keep in mind that your role as a woman looks different in various seasons of life. When I had children at home -- they were my primary ministry responsibility. As they've grown and my hands-on involvement is less, I have more time for expanded areas of ministry.
It also helps to realize that we are all in the process of spiritual growth. The inspired Word of God is the only source of absolute truth. Mature believers may disagree on various interpretations of Scripture, but stay plugged in to the Word, seek direction from the Holy Spirit, place yourself under biblical authorities, and trust God to teach you what you need to know in order to grow to maturity in Christ.
Blessings dear sister -- keep on growing in Him!!
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Thanks for the question and comment. I hope you'll link to and read the posts I referred to in my comment above.
Blessings to you friend!
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I hope my article has not left the impression that our children are to take first priority in our lives.
Please remember that our pursuit of Christ comes first, then our relationship to our husband must follow -- ahead even of our responsibility to our children.
Although society presents a "me-first" self-centered philosophy, a distinctive of Christianity is that we are called to lay down our lives for others (1 John 3:16-18), which is a MUST when it comes to motherhood. But as mothers, we must also guard our hearts from swinging to the opposite extreme of the world's way of operating, by placing our children in an idolatrous position in our hearts.
I hope this made sense . . . just a few additional thoughts today :-)
Your comments and words of encouragement are a blessing as always!
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 4:17 pm
on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 11:43 pm
On one hand I can see the logic in that, but I don't really see how it plays out in real life. For instance, when my husband is hoping I will be coming to bed and I also have a fussy or hungry baby. It just won't do any of us any good to put husband first. I guess I also just feel that we all need to put others first, so my husband needs to have an attitude of giving of himself and want us together to meet the needs of our children. I realize that our marriage needs to be strong, but I do think that working together and both of us giving of ourselves ultimately strengthens us??
But ranking God, then husband, then children comes up all the time. Is there actually a Bible verse that goes with that?
on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 8:10 am
I was wondering the same thing about the bible reference. I understand putting God first in EVERYTHING we do and I think the husband next would refer to our spiritual life as he is commanded to be the head of the household, then our children, etc. However, in real life, if you have a husband that doesnt take care of the children or that feels that children is a woman's responsibility, then in the real world it is God, your children, then your husband.
on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 9:43 am
I am grateful for your ministry to women. While doing a search, I found a ROH program "Training Yourself and Your Children" back to 2008 that you were a guest on. You shared some powerful things that I needed to hear.
(copied from the transcript)
"That is the same process we parent with also. But after talking, if that child’s heart is still hardened and there’s not repentance, then we just—or if it’s me on my own, I say, “Let’s just pray about this.” I take their hands, and we pray. I pray out loud, and I love for the love of the Lord to just come out and pour all over them in my prayer for them. It has never failed for them to break and be in repentance. "
May I ask if you could share how you prayed for your child if their heart would not soften? How does the love of the Lord come out and pour all over them?
Thank you so much,
Tina
on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 10:10 am
Thanks for your comments and question. First, no -- there isn't a Bible verse which directly spells out God first, mate second, children next :-)
I think this principle for prioritizing our responsibilities is taken from a general understanding of a basic pattern we see in Scripture. In support of practicing this "formula" consider these Scriptural and practical reasons:
When God created the first couple, He gave instruction to them, and laid out a principle we often refer to as "leaving and cleaving" (Genesis 2:24).
When united in marriage, the bride and groom are to leave their parents (in the sense of leaving the child-parent relationship) and "cleave unto" or be joined as "one flesh" -- establishing a new family unit. (I've often thought it interesting that this statement was made to the first couple who had no earthly parents, but God, from the very first, stressed this as a pattern for future generations to follow). This seems to frame the marital relationship as greater in priority than the parent-child relationship.
Before children, there is to be first -- the primary relationship between God and the individual, then follows the marital relationship -- before children enter the home.
In Ephesians we see the marital relationship described in its lofty position as being a platform for the gospel to be displayed. Genesis 2:24 is referred to in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, and again in this passage in Ephesians (5:31). Following the lengthy emphasis on the importance of the marital relationship, Ephesians 6 opens with instructions concerning the child-parent relationship (similarly in Colossians 3:18:-21).
When women are given instruction concerning their family relationships in Titus 2:4, the order is "to love their husbands" followed by "to love their children." The pattern seems to be that of placing the marital relationship first in order of priority.
From a practical standpoint, even secular studies have shown that children perform better, have a greater sense of confidence and security when the parental marital relationship is healthy.
Now, understandably fleshing this out will not occur so easily. Life doesn't always allow for following such clearly defined formulas. And, absolutely the ideal is for the couple to be serving one another unselfishly as they cooperate in parental responsibilities. But the reason we hear this formula so often referred to is because of the very real danger and tendency, especially in the years of parenting multiple children, of allowing the work of marital intimacy and unity to be abandoned or set aside.
In reference to Jenn's example of a husband who believes the parenting responsibility falls on the woman's shoulders only, I would still say she is to place her marital relationship as a higher priority (in terms of applying herself to intentionally cultivating a strong, healthy, one-souled relationship with her mate) and this will actually benefit the children. 1 Peter 3 stresses the importance of the wife's role when in a difficult relationship with a husband (perhaps one who is not even a Christian, but certainly one who is living in disobedience) and her obedience to God, her humble character, may well serve as a change-agent in her husband's life.
You might want to consider this question as a source for personal study by looking up Scriptures referring to children and marriage and see what emphasis God is making on these relationships.
But to easily sum it up, Jesus made it very clear that we're to love God, and love others. Sounds easy, huh? I can't wait until we're in His presence actually able to be perfectly experiencing that! :-)
I'm still learning and grateful for the opportunity to discuss these things with you.
May each of you experience much joy in your relationship with Christ, with your husband, and children today!
on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Thank you for your kind words and your question. I need to go back and check out that transcript sometime :-) I'm not even sure how many years ago that may have been taped!
Especially when our children were small, the Lord would use the tenderness of their young hearts to respond to the truth of the gospel when we prayed with and for them. I remember several times when specifically my son would break over the reading of Hebrews 12 (before we prayed) as we discussed the sacrifice Christ made for our sin and the need for discipline in our lives when we sin.
In answer to your question (and of course all children are different -- some less demonstrative than others, all with varying levels of hardness or tenderness of heart) let me first say that it is important to convey the Heavenly Father's tenderness to our child. Physical touch and a gentle tone helps.
I think it is important to take the child's hand and tenderly speak while looking directly in their eyes. (I would always tell my child to look in my eyes if they were looking down or away.) Often, I would be close to tears myself as I would lovingly share how much I love them, Christ loves them, and how, for their sake and for the sake of Christ, it is always best to obey.
After spending some moments focusing on what Christ has done for the child (and also done in forgiving my own sin) and conveying gratefulness to Him for doing that, I let the child know we need to talk to Jesus and the child needs to ask His forgiveness for how he's disobeyed. I would then tell them that I would pray first and they could talk to Him out-loud when I finished.
I can't say that this is a "certain formula" to bring a child to repentance, but I will say that every time I did this with my children, they broke as they began verbalizing in prayer how they had disobeyed and followed by asking forgiveness.
When they were older, before holding this conversation and prayer time with them, often I (or my husband) would send them to their room with specific Scriptures they were to read and think about before we talked. Often when we'd ask them to share with us what they understood the Scripture passage to be saying, they would demonstrate repentance and brokenness before we even prayed.
The gospel reality is powerful, whether sharing it with children or adults, the fact that Jesus shed His blood for OUR sin, is a powerful reality that can break the hardest rebel's heart (Hebrews 12:1-4).
I highly recommend the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. I didn't come across this book until my children were teens and really could have used it as a resource when they were younger. Tripp encourages us to approach parenting from the aspect of getting to the source of heart issues which are at the root of the child's disobedience rather than simply focusing on outward conformity of behavior.
Sorry to send such a lengthy response today, would much rather be sharing with you over a glass of iced tea (it's hot in Arkansas today!) than trying to pour out my heart on the Internet.
God's blessings to you dear one as you strive to raise children who will follow hard after Christ!
on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Regarda Brenda.
on Friday, August 6, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Thank you for taking the time to respond. My heart is convicted that I am not speaking tenderly to my children. I can see why my children haven't responded with repentance. I have not been exampling the Father's love.
Thank you again,
Tina
on Monday, August 9, 2010 at 10:39 am