I saw this in my own life as my husband recently shared some insights with me about a recurring issue that had caused contention in our marriage. His words were gracious and totally free of accusation and condemnation, yet with every syllable he uttered, waves of guilt and shame threatened to overwhelm me. Accusing voices echoed in my mind, “Some kind of true woman you are! How can you say you embrace true womanhood when you’ve obviously failed so miserably?”
Sensing that self-condemnation, my husband quickly communicated the essence of these words to me: “Carrie, God’s revealed truth to us today; we’re going to repent, move on, and learn a new way of communicating in this area.” I don’t know that I’ve ever sensed such redemptive love!
Almost immediately, this verse from Romans 4:20 flashed across my mind:
“He [Abraham] did not waver in unbelief, but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God.”
Surely Abraham’s faith had wavered when he lied about Sarah and later fathered Ishmael by Hagar. And yet as God looked at Abraham’s life through the cross of Christ He said, “Abraham did not waver.” Yes, Abraham had sinned--just as you and I do--but in repentance and hope he got up from his place of failure. He refused to allow his past to keep him from believing God’s promise. He walked on in faith!
I sensed the Spirit whisper . . . this is true womanhood, Carrie. Not a life lived perfectly, but a life that when sin is realized repents, gets back up, and keeps walking by faith. This is the hope of the gospel. As Elyse Fitzpatrick says in Comforts from the Cross:
“The gospel teaches us that instead of focusing on ourselves and our closely clinging sin, we’ve got to focus on Jesus. We’ve got to look away from our sin whether because it’s alluring and drawing us toward it or because it’s condemning and pushing us into ourselves and away from our Savior. Our thoughts should be steadfastly riveted on what Jesus has done. He began our faith . . . He’s committed to bring it all the way to completion.”
Where’s your focus today? Are you down on the ground? You can get back up right now, knowing that God sees and loves you through the cross of Christ!
Leave a Comment:
We love hearing from you, and will post your comment as long as it is appropriate, and is written in a tone that is encouraging, edifying, and loving to others. Even then, know that the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts.
Comments
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 9:34 am
Also, thank you for mention Comforts from the Cross. I have been re-reading it, and it has been such an encouragement to me that I bought a number of copies and gave them to friends - who gave them to friends....pretty soon I should be getting royalties! :-)
Thanks again, Carrie, and God bless you continually and greatly. Psalm 115:15
Ellen
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 9:52 am
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 9:54 am
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 9:58 am
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 10:10 am
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 10:25 am
Thank you for this post!
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 10:33 am
Will be praying for you and your husband! Know that the Lord will cause even this (no matter its outcome) to be something that will be worked out for your good and His glory.
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 11:39 am
Love this, Carrie. So true. Only Jesus is perfect.
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 1:42 pm
My heart breaks for you on this day that should be marked by celebration. How I pray you will sense the Lord’s comfort and sustaining grace as you walk through such a dark valley. Know I am praying for you, dear friend. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18).
You are doing the right things, Alison. By acknowledging and repenting of your own sins you are running back to the cross. You are appropriating God’s forgiveness and grace as you daily take your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. You are choosing to live based on what is real (you are forgiven) not on how you feel.
If you’ve not already done so ask the Lord for the opportunity to seek your husband’s forgiveness so you might have a clear conscience before both God and man. Then pray, pray, pray! God is able to work in ways you can’t even imagine as you cry out to Him in prayer. Persevere in the battle, dear friend. You might consider using Beth Moore’s book Praying God’s Word to help you pray specifically.
Ask the Lord to help you connect with another godly woman who will pray with you and encourage you to press on when you grow weary. And stay connected in your local church. It’s vital that you’re surrounded by those who will walk with you during this time.
When you get a chance download a copy of How To Endure Suffering
(http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/downloads/index.php?id=9596). I know it will bring you encouragement during these difficult days.
Praying for you tonight ~
Carrie
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Thank you for suggesting Elyse's book on a previous blog! I agree everyone needs a copy...great Christmas gift idea.
Blessings,
Carrie
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 5:00 pm
on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 8:17 pm
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 12:52 am
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 8:24 am
Thanks for yourpersonal post. It is encouraging to know that there are people out there who care about me whether they know me or not. Yesterday was difficult, but made better by continueing to have faith that my life will come to some point of what God wants to see in me so long as I continue believing in him. My daughters and I spent the day together and I was able to keep my mind off of it the best that I could. I have gone to my husband in repentance over my mistakes, but he continues to wallow in bitterness, selfpity and blame. He refuses to accept any resposibility in the breakdown of our marriage. He even blames me for his choice of having internet reelationships with other women. I love my husband and myself and our girls desperately want him to come home, but I realize that there is nothing that I can do. I am trying very hard to leave it all in Gods hands and face my own relationship with God. But, I still must have interaction with Stephan and I never know just exactly how I am suppose to act. Like I don't care, like I do, like I am happy, sad, repentant, ignore him, don't ignore him...you get the idea...I am so lost. I am trying to hear Gods direction, and pray for my head and ears to be clear to hear it, but sometimes I just don't know...my daughters and I will be attending the revive our hearts conference in Indiana in a few days and am looking forward to it. I don't want to lay too much hope on answers coming to me, but I can't help but praying for a miracle in my life. Is it wrong of me to pray that God will restore my marriage in some way? Or am I to just pray for God's will? God's will cannot possibly be for divorce, he doesn't condone it, so where shoul my prayers lead me?
Alison
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 9:12 am
I’m so glad you had a special day with your daughters. What a loving gift from your Heavenly Father. And I’m thrilled you’ll be in Indianapolis this weekend, Alison. How I pray the Lord will meet with you in a special way during this conference. Know I’ll be praying for you during these days; perhaps the Lord will even allow our paths to cross at some point.
Though the specifics of how you respond to your husband will vary, the basis of your response must always be grounded in 1.) Who your God is 2.) Who you are as His child. Remembering these two truths will help you respond in a manner that is honoring to the Lord and to your husband ( even when his actions are less than honorable).
God alone is your hope, Alison. He is your refuge and strength. Your security and identity are found in Him and remain unchanged regardless of your husband’s choices. You have not been abandoned by the One who is sovereign over all things! God is at work. As you cry out to Him you can rest knowing He is in control.
Perhaps this quote from Gary Thomas’ book Sacred Influence will encourage you.
“What I believe will give you the most boldness and courage to address issues that need to change is, first, understanding who you are in Christ and, second, letting God not your marital status define your life. Armed with that acceptance, security, and empowerment you become a mighty force for good. You can then clam the power of Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 31:8, ‘The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.’”
Praying for you today ~
Carrie
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 3:13 pm
as always... you speak from your heart... your willingness to share your walk the good and the difficult... is a blessing! it's good to know i don't have to be perfect!
thanks for sharing this......
what a great reminder and example!
i needed it as well as many others!
on Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 8:49 pm
It's all so confusing to me. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life and it happened 2 years ago. I just cant seem to "feel" like I have been forgiven. How do I allow this confessed sin to get out of my heart and mind. I am truly sorry for what I did and have completely distanced myself from the one I feel into sin with. What more can I do besides Pray about it.
I want a clean slate with God. I want to "feel" like I have been forgiven so I can get completely past what I did.
Thanks.
on Wednesday, September 22, 2010 at 10:51 am
on Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 5:35 pm
on Saturday, November 5, 2011 at 10:44 am