In 1 Timothy 2:9, the Lord provides three guidelines that help Christian women figure out what and what not to wear: “She adorns herself with respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.” Let’s examine these three guidelines to help us ensure that our looks are in good order, properly arranged, and ready to display Christ. Is It Becoming or Unbecoming?
Kosmio is the descriptive form of the Greek noun kosmos (to put in order, trim, adorn, or decorate), which is related to our English word cosmos—the universe. The Greeks regarded the universe to be an ordered, integrated, harmonious whole. Kosmos is the opposite of chaos. So when Paul told women that their adornment should be kosmio, he meant that like the universe, all the parts should be harmoniously arranged with the other parts. It should be “becoming”—that is, appropriate or fitting. Given the context, I believe Paul was implying that our adornment ought to be becoming on a number of different levels.
First and foremost, your clothing ought to be becoming, fitting to, and consistent with your character as a child of God. But it also ought to be becoming to your body type, becoming to your femininity, becoming to your husband, becoming to the other clothes you are wearing, and becoming to the occasion and place you intend to wear it. There’s a tremendous amount of guidance in that small word, becoming. It challenges you to evaluate your clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, and hair from multiple angles as part of the harmonious, integrated whole of your life—to line up the seen with the unseen and the temporal with the eternal. It challenges you to bring a cosmic perspective to bear on your everyday decisions.
I like the word Paul chose. It has enormous implications. Kosmio means that a Christian woman’s “look” ought to be consistently put together, inside and out. This challenges those who put an undue emphasis on external appearance as well as those who neglect their personal appearance. It’s a corrective to women who dress extravagantly. It’s a corrective to those who dress seductively. But it’s also a corrective to those who think that “holy” means frumpy, ugly, unfeminine, and out of style. Becoming indicates that running around in baggy jeans and T-shirts all the time is just as inappropriate as being obsessed with stylish clothing. It means that a woman’s appearance ought to be put together nicely. It ought to be pleasant and attractive—on the inside and the outside.
Is It Decent or Indecent?
The second word, aidous, is based on the Greek term for shame and disgrace. The word is a blend of modesty and humility. When I think about a word picture that personifies this concept, I think of approaching God with eyes that are downcast.
It involves a sense of deficiency, inferiority, or unworthiness. It suggests shame, but also a corresponding sense of reverence and honor toward rightful authority. It’s the opposite of insolence, imprudence, disrespect, or audacity. Downcast eyes are the opposite of defiant eyes.
So does dressing with your eyes downcast mean that you are self-conscious? No. It means that your clothing tells the truth about the gospel. Your clothing shows the world that Jesus covers your shame and makes you decent. Your clothes cover your nakedness as the clothing of Christ covers your sin.
Dressing “with eyes downcast” means that you choose clothes that are decent in His eyes . . . not clothes that are provocative, seductive, and that honor nakedness. When you dress decently, you recognize that God ordained clothes to cover, and not draw attention to, your naked skin. You cover up out of respect for Him, the gospel, your Christian brothers—and out of respect for who He made you to be. Decency means you agree with the Lord about the true purpose of clothing and set aside your self-interest to dress in a way that exalts Christ.
So in that dressing room trying on that skirt, take time to sit, bend, and stretch in front of that mirror, and ask yourself, Is this skirt decent? Does it do what it should do? Does it properly cover me up? Does it showcase my underlying nakedness—or exalt the gospel of Christ?
Is It Moderate or Excessive?
The final thing to ask yourself about clothing is whether it is moderate or excessive. Paul uses the Greek word sophrosunes. It means “of a sound mind; curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate.” The word indicates that our adornment should be reasonable and not crazy. We ought to rein in our impulses and avoid extremes in fashion, hairstyles, and makeup. We also ought to avoid spending crazy amounts of money or stuffing our closets full of crazy quantities of clothing. We ought to govern our wardrobe choices with a sense of moderation, simplicity, and self-control. If the outfit is crazy extreme, crazy expensive, or if it’s crazy for you to be buying another one, then you ought to pass it up.
Understanding the purpose of clothing and asking yourself the three questions, Is it becoming? Is it decent? and Is it moderate? will help you figure out how to dress. And don’t forget to include your “Helper” in the process. The Holy Spirit is an invaluable source of assistance when it comes to figuring out whether or not your appearance glorifies God. If your heart is right and you seek His guidance, He will be your personal wardrobe consultant and teach you what and what not to wear.
© Moody Publishers. Adapted from Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild, pp. 103-108.
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on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 8:31 am
How this message is needed even in Christian circles.
I see how some Christian women dress to come to church, in jeans that are too tight, and tops that display breasts that should be covered, and what a distraction it is while I'm singing praises to God. And I can only imagine the distraction it is to the "brothers in Christ"!
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 8:42 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 8:43 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 8:46 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 9:52 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:04 am
thank you for sharing.
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:14 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:33 am
I know society has accepted so many things and if we are honest, they are now trying to get us to accept horrid things that are definitely an abomination to God, then why can't we just as easy see that God likes a distinct difference in men and women. We have different roles and when we are out of sync, things don't go as well as they could and there is a ripple effect in our children.
We, as His church, should take all scripture and seek His truth no matter how unpopular.
I agree with what someone wrote here in the comments, how can you go to church or the grocery store, for that matter, after getting dressed in the morning and every crevice is exposed and when you bend over, everything is hanging out and have no conscience about it. Teenagers see it, young men and mature men see it and it is wrong on the part of ladies to know how men are effected by sight and flaunt ourselves in front of them as if we are innocent. We are not innocent when we don't take our modesty or lack thereof seriously. It is serious. Yes, people can just pass it off as "going to extremes" but if you shake yourself and look at the pornography in our society and what it has done to pollute the good sense of men and boys everywhere, we might think differently and be much more prudent in the way we dress.
Great article today and one that can be delved into even deeper if one desires. Thank you for addressing this ongoing issue.
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:45 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:45 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 10:49 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 11:08 am
And then we have the complete opposite....women who dress twice their age, unflattering, baggy, turtle necks tops with to-the-ankles denim, out of style jumpers, no style with hair, and no make-up at all. These are the type of women that non-christian women are "afraid of becoming" when considering a Christian lifestyle when they become a Christian.
Such extremes, and it seems everyone is turning a blind eye to it. I will be honest and admit that I was afraid of being "one of those" (the dowdy women) when I became a Christian not too long ago and yet, I don't fit in with the wealthy ones, "let it all hang out" either.
Does anyone else see these two extremes, or is it just me?
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 11:34 am
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 11:52 am
Remember, one can dress like a lady, be a lady, be modest and still becoming. One just has to find that balance and look to His Word for clarification.
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 12:03 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I agree that teaching our children how to dress should start young, but I love talking to my daughter when combing her hair about how God wants our hearts to be beautiful.
I also have learned in time, pray for your men ladies!!Unfortunately this is something they have to face, even in the church.
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 3:19 pm
decent length skirts. I envy women who know how to sew, and have the time to make their own clothes to please their taste and also honor God!
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Our church instituted a wedding dress code after a bride came down the aisle in a strapless, see-through past the naval gown. Other mother's of brides complained so much about the new dress code that it was changed back to no dress code.
I continue to pray for women's hearts to be broken in this area.
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 7:08 pm
on Tuesday, May 17, 2011 at 9:28 pm
on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 12:12 am
Thank you
L
on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 10:11 am
Praying for our men to make a covenant with their eyes that they would only have eyes for their wife. I also pray for a hedge of protection about them that temptation would be lessened for them to look or desire after another woman. That is my two cents.
on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm
But I'd just like to share the comment of my 30 year-old daughter.
For Mother's Day, she bought me a rather lovely skirt and when I tried it on, she said it was WAY too short (and I'm 58 :o) so, I wear it with leggings! (And she said, oh that's cute, Mummy!)
And yes, men do respect women more who conceal more (in addition, it's far more elegant) at all ages, and the same applies to make-up, jewellery and general behaviour and body language.
It also makes them feel more comfortable when they don't have to avoid seeing it all "hang out".
on Monday, May 23, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I was recently at a gathering and we had a talk about how women should dress and how they should carry themselves this article is a perfect example of how women should think before they buy their clothing because in holiness we as woman have to be covered and I just love 1 Timothy 2:9 because it states that a woman should dress themselves in a respectable manner not just kind of what and being in Christ doesn't mean that you can't look nice because I wear skirts everyday all day and as I was brought up you wear them at knee length or longer and I still get compliments. But inspite of all this our purpose is to serve God and wittness and draw souls but you have to look becoming to holiness to do so. Pray for me that I be everything that God is calling for in these last and evil day!
on Tuesday, April 9, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Praying today that the presence and power of the Risen Savior would be seen through your life and would be used to draw many to His glorious gospel. May His light shine brightly through you, precious friend.
on Monday, April 15, 2013 at 11:57 am