Click here to read part one of Laura’s journey from singleness to wife and mommy all in one day!
That fall and winter that Dennis and I dated, my emotions were on a roller coaster ride! On one hand, I was quickly falling for this handsome, strong man. I loved him and his kids, and I could see God working miracles every weekend, drawing us all closer together. Every request I prayed in those months, God graciously answered nearly immediately; I saw God do what only He could in the new relationships.
But then there was this amazing work that I was a part of with Revive Our Hearts. I felt competent and affirmed there. Even though I was on missionary support, there was a level of security in the place where I was. Going from single career gal to wife and mommy in one day was an idea that sent me into panic mode more than once!
I fought through intense seasons of fear, confusion, doubt, and worry. But God met me with sweet peace and reassurance. I sensed a stirring in my spirit that “now is the time” for God to do a new thing in my life, that there was a new season around the corner for me. God impressed Esther 4:14 on my heart, “If you don’t go to the king, perhaps deliverance will arise from somewhere else—but who knows whether you have been called to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
By the time January 2011 came around, I knew what my answer would be when Dennis asked me to marry him. There wasn’t any other answer! I knew I loved him; I knew God was leading us; I knew our parents had their blessing over us; I knew God had done too many miracles for me to doubt His providential hand over us. I knew Dennis and I were very different, but were committed to the Lord and each other, and would help each other grow. And I was excited about the future adventures God would have for us . . . together.
When I was sixteen, I prayed and dedicated my single years to the Lord to serve Him. In my youthful naivety, I specifically prayed that I would serve God in my single years “whether it be five years or fifteen years.” Nearly fifteen years to the day of that prayer, Dennis and I joyfully committed our lives to each other in a beautiful ceremony surrounded by our family and friends.
My only regret from my years of singleness is that I fretted too much, that I didn’t trust God enough. There were seasons of sadness and depression and hopelessness. Looking back, I think, “Why couldn't I simply trust the Lord? Look what He was preparing for me (and preparing me for), and I wasted all that time depressed and faithless.” The crucible of faith during my single years was God’s plan to purify in me a faith and a joy that are now my life-line as a wife and mom.
Are you in a season of fear, loneliness, depression, or hurt? Cling to Jesus. Remember to rejoice. Trust Him for the good times and the bad times. Be willing to step out in faith and courage. You never know what adventure God has around the corner for you!
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We love hearing from you, and will post your comment as long as it is appropriate, and is written in a tone that is encouraging, edifying, and loving to others. Even then, know that the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts.
Comments
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 9:38 am
I now know to look up to Him as my present help in times of need.
Please pray for me that I also will share my testimony and my joy will be full.
God Bless
Tessxx
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 10:02 am
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 10:03 am
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 10:33 am
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 11:38 am
After reading about your experience, I'm encouraged to approach her about trying an online Christian dating site.
Congratulations on your new husband and family! I know it must be hard to suddenly be a mother of four (I have just two and it is hard). My prayers are with you and the kids to grow together.
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 11:41 am
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Praying God's BEST for y'all!
His,
Shari
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Yours in Christ
Mamo
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm
I pray that other single women will read this and embrace your message. As a mom of two daughters, my prayer toward them is to teach them to embrace every season the are in. Not to rush or sit around waiting for prince charming. But be active in serving God while waiting!
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 7:52 pm
I felt very convicted about not using this season of my life to trust God more and plan to start that today.
I would like to add how good it's been for me to step out in faith with Christian Internet Dating. I know there are mixed opinions out there, but I believe it's a great way to meet quality people who have a heart for God.
Thank you again!
on Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 10:11 pm
on Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 12:56 pm
on Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm
on Friday, February 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Thank you for this testimony! What a blessing for you and your husband and family, Laura. May the Lord bless and prosper you abundantly, and reward you for your service to Him and this family -- filling such an important need! :)
I have been very concerned for a friend of mine, who appears to be having a very similar experience to what you went through. Single all her life, she just recently lost her mom, then -- prayerfully -- began to participate in online dating. After a few "scams" (her words) and one man that wasn't husband material, she has now met a man (not yet in person) whom she believes is from the Lord (her mom prayed for many years for "Mr. Right" for her). She has become very close to this man through emails, and he already wants to marry her.
My initial reaction was one of alarm, and I've sent my friend all the cautions I could think of. She is open to my counsel. However -- if this is of the Lord (like Ruth and Boaz) -- I don't want to mess with it!
I appreciate Jo's comments above and think I will share with my dear friend some of the "hedges" principles I have learned, as well as to help her be more aware of the courtship process (she has not had much teaching, but has kept herself over the years and has never reallly dated!). She has not yet met this man in person (he is presently on a job far away) and I feel they may be moving a little too fast in expressing their affections for each other through the emails. Even so, the relationship may be from the Lord.
Dear ones at ROH/TW (esp. Sarah K., Tammi, Debbie H., Paula, Kim W., Carrie G., Erin D., Karen W. -- both -- dearest Nancy, and anyone else there I may have forgotten or who feels led to pray) -- would you please pray for this situation ? (Laura too, please, as you can relate more specifically!) Please pray for my friend - for the Lord's clear hand of guidance, protection, blessing and discernment in her life -- and for me as I seek to minister to her and help her in this process, without being overbearing.
Love to you all -- have a great weekend!
In His mavellous love,
Leslie S.
Jer. 33:3
on Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 10:27 am
on Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Our love and blessings to you, Leslie, and your friend. Ours is a good and gracious God!
on Monday, February 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Pr. 27:9
Love you all through our Lord Jesus,
on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 at 1:36 am
But what about the women who pray and do not get their prayers answered? What about the women who go online dating or don't meet anyone at all?
HOW do you remain happy and smiling when you feel frustrated? It's easy to find someone in your 30's and maybe 40s, but come the 50's and 60s, this is no longer the truth. At least in my experience.
I would caution women with online dating services. Some non-Christians use Christian dating services, and you may just find out when............it's too late.
on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Will I go on internet? No.
Fretting? You bet. It's easy to be happy and singing and radiant when........you wake up in the morning to someone you love and hope that you will spend your future together.
Not quite so easy is believing in God when you have been waiting for him to bring you the right person, for thirty years.
For those happily marrieds out there, think yourselves very very privileged and also.......be on the alert.
There are many many beautiful single women out there who could take your husband away in a flash. And you may not be able to stop it.
on Wednesday, February 22, 2012 at 5:48 pm
God did not promise to bring you a husband; He did promise to forgive your sins, put His presence in you, and give you an eternal home in Heaven. Here is His specific promise for your life: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12
Your question is a relevant and important one. How do I find happiness as a single? One of the best resources to answer this question is Singled Out for Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. If you will send me your address at info@reviveourhearts.com, I will be glad to send you a copy. Marriage is a high calling, but for a Christian, the call of Christ is greater.
I know you are hurt and bothered by this, and I do not make light of it. We pray that your relationship with Christ will deepen in the days ahead, whether single or equally yoked.
on Friday, February 24, 2012 at 3:43 pm
While your intentions are very kind and I don't doubt that for a moment, God said it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone and I will bring him/her a helpmate. (It's in the Bible) so therefore, it is logical that women believe it, isn't it?
Or does God's truth not apply when you're older?
This is where I turn away from God. I can no longer believe in a God who does not.................follow on with what he says.
After years of believing and hoping that the Bible tells the truth, I now give up. Because it doesn't.
But thank you for the answer.
on Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 2:06 pm
It is just me, telling the truth which the Bible tells us to do.
And it is MY truth.
I will understand if you take my comments off.
But the result is the same. I still feel it.
on Saturday, February 25, 2012 at 2:08 pm
While God said loneliness was not good, it does not match up with how bad disobedience and bitterness can be. Scripture is always to be understood in context and God’s will is always to be seen in terms of the whole picture. While God brought Adam a helpmeet, it is not a general principle that God will bring a helpmeet to every man, nor is it a biblical teaching that every woman, or every Christian woman, will be led to a husband. Many have been and will be, but not all. Are you aware that Jesus said, “For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 19:12) And have you read where Paul said under the direction of the Holy Spirit, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.” (1 Cor. 7:7-9)
Jesus reminded us we can’t take God’s will for someone else’s life and make it ours. “Peter turned and saw that the follower Jesus loved was walking behind them. (This was the follower who had leaned against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who will turn against you?") When Peter saw him behind them, he asked Jesus, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to live until I come back, that is not your business. You follow Me." (John 21:20-22)
Unfortunately, not all marriages, even Christian ones, are happy, nor is Christ the center of the relationship. In fact, many spouses are miserable and some of the greatest heartaches in their lives have come about because of their marriage partner. There are women who get depressed and bitter because of their marriage. There are singles who get depressed and bitter because they are not married. It seems as if God can’t win. Jesus was born to die, but not to have a wife and children. Zacharias and Elizabeth suffered the embarrassment and shame for many years of no children. And when they did have a child, they died long before the child grew up. Paul thought that because of his ministry and calling, it was best that he not marry though he did deal with great loneliness. Because loneliness was wrong, it didn’t mean it was sin. Before sin entered the world, or Adam and Eve sinned, God said loneliness was not good. Here is a great truth that may be more profound than I can explain, but both married and singles have experienced it to some degree: Loneliness is in reality a search for the deeper presence of God. You will not believe the difference in your life and your perspective on marriage and relationships if you will focus on experiencing that kind of intimacy with the Lord.
Thank you for posting, and for your openness and honesty. Thank you for understanding that my reply was intended to be kind and loving.
Blessings to you and my prayers are indeed for you.
on Monday, February 27, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Who knows? We may just have helped someone else as well.
Love from here (and I'm still listening :o) and reading.
Judy
Love to you all
Judy
on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Blessings to you!
on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 at 4:36 pm