11 comments

Paula Hendricks

Less Than Ideal Situations

Posted on 03.15.12 by Paula Hendricks | Twitter: @PaulaWrites678
Topics: Marriage

There’s God’s ideal for male-female relationships, and then . . . there’s reality. Often, that reality is less than ideal. Sometimes, it’s nothing short of horrific!

In this six-minute video, Mary Kassian, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and their friends steer clear of simplistic answers and offer wise, compassionate, biblical advice about what to do when you encounter a less than ideal situation.

What stood out to you most from their conversation? Do you have anything to add?

For the next several weeks, we’re featuring clips from the True Woman 101: Divine Design series on the blog each Thursday. These are clips you won’t find on the True Woman 101 DVD, but they're simply too good not to share with you here!

This particular video is based on chapter two of True Woman 101, “Snips and Snails,” where Mary and Nancy explore God’s design for men. Click here to watch the final twenty-three-minute video, “Snips and Snails.”

Comments

  1. Right on! May we never respond to the real issues facing this centuries marriages in their complexities of darkness that touch their lives with simplistic answers. Only God's Word, God's grace, Godly relationships through mature church leadership, and using authorities God has ordained will fulfill God's good purposes. May we as women walk with those in the trenches speaking the truth in love and move forward to being conformed to the image of His Son, our precious Lord Jesus.
    posted by Jewell
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 7:30 am
  2. I am listening to your Radio program "Encouraging Men to be Men" 3/9/12. Did I understand correctly that even though physical abuse is against the law, the wife still needs to submit to her husband? Because emotional abuse isn't against the law, is the wife still to submit to her husband?
    Some of the things I am hearing in this interview leave me with the impression that many of you have lead very sheltered lives.
    posted by Tina
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 9:11 am
  3. I think that they were seeking to differentiate submission from enduring abuse. They were careful to note the importance of seeking authorities if this is occurring. Karen even made note of some people misinterpreting scripture regarding this, leading those who misinterpreted to say that submitting would be allowing the abuse. Carolyn and Nancy did a beautiful job of communicating why we are still to respond as God would have us to, not returning evil with evil. Through His strength, we are able to do that. The abuse must be stopped, but we are to continue to represent Christ in any suffering.

    As someone who has walked this road, I would encourage you to listen to Nancy address this topic more on Revive Our Hearts in past radio programs. These programs are longer than this short clip, providing more time to address the things we all struggle with everyday...no sheltered living, just living as sinners in need of a Savior, saved by the grace of God through faith, and strengthened by His Holy Spirit. Praise Jesus!
    posted by Colleen
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm
  4. emotional abuse
    [imshnl]
    the debasement of a person's feelings that causes the individual to perceive himself or herself as inept, not cared for, and worthless.
    I looked this up after reading the first responder and I had to ask myself, "Where do we get our worth from?" To realize that we have a Heavenly Husband, a Heavenly Father, who give us true worth in who we are as the bride of Christ and the daughter adopted and saved by grace, and who enables us with His Word and Himself, I have to wonder how I could ever fit this definition no matter what goes on around me. 1 Peter 3 talks to this very issue of submission but I want to point out vs 13-14: 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats[b]; do not be frightened.”[c] 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. That said I agree that we need to also show compassion when dealing with this issue just as Christ is compassionate with us.
    And I want to add how thankful to the Lord I am for what He is doing through this series and this ministry. The truth in a perverse and fallen world and culture will not always be well received nor is it always well recieved to my own sinful heart, that is why we need the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and lives. I recently gave a challenge on this topic of submission and thought I would share an excerpt from it, the topic is Rare Beauty according to 1 Peter 3:1-6 "Even the seemingly ugly things in our lives are God's tools to make us into a RARE and Beautiful Woman. So while you may think of those two S words an negative words they really aren't. Submission puts on display Jesus Christ in a beautiful way and makes us beautiful women and suffering is a beauty tool God uses like a facial scrub that while a little harsh and uncomfortable is brushing away the dead skin to reveal the beautiful underneath. So God is using these things to create that incorruptible beauty in you. Suffering is the exfoliator to get rid of our dead flesh and submission is the toner that radiates Christ's beauty." God Bless!
    posted by Julie Valadez
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm
  5. Thank you, Colleen. That's indeed the ROH message and the intent of the conversation!

    Thanks, Tina, for giving opportunity to speak to your concerns.

    God bless you both!
    posted by Sarah, with the TW Team
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 3:15 pm
  6. What encouraged me most was hearing that God is working in all things in my life and those around me. That it isn't my responsibility to make my husband or kids right before God. But it is the work of God to make them holy.
    Too often I forget this. Thank you for reminding me!
    posted by Sherry
    on Thursday, March 15, 2012 at 4:07 pm
  7. After 31 years of ministry, I have seen the subject of submission go through radical translations. It takes courage to address women with this message. I will say though, the women who have accepted the challenge have indeed seen wonderful changes in their homes. As the health of a church does depend on healthy homes, thank you for speaking truth!
    posted by ANGIE BOHDE
    on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at 8:50 pm
  8. The truth is I am sick of Women shaking hands with my husband and disrespecting me.Being a woman my self i have not dis respected them and went in their face and sneerred a fake smile or gave envy looks i am being honest i can not edify another thing unless it's jesus not even my pastor of my church.If you are a woman of god then heal if not send this up to god in prayer i am too angry to do anything i will not drink smoke or cheat again on him and yes he knows the truth ladies. So does the enemy of our marriage.
    www.yahoo.com
    posted by travis
    on Sunday, September 30, 2012 at 8:31 pm
  9. @travis...Bless you. I am praying for you now that the Lord will be your strength as you practice the truths in the clip. He will be your help and stay. "The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
    my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7 May the peace of the Lord come upon you as you seek Him and find help through godly avenues.
    posted by Sarah, with the TW Team
    on Monday, October 1, 2012 at 4:49 pm
  10. I'm struggling with a precious saved husband who is very selfish and self centers. He is uncomfortable with me ministering to anyone but him. He welcomes folks into our home if he invites them. He becomes frustrated when I invite people into our home, although I ask him in advsnce if this works for him. I'm a open door kind of girl. I love young woman and children. I thrive best when I'm mentoring and nurturing. Although I am there and present for him, I feel that I Am pouring into a buket with hole in it? He feels threatened when we serve seprerately. He has a calling to encourage young pastors. He wants me at his side but feels more comfortable if I'm quiet and allow him to minister. I'm allowed to "go and do " but he is fussy when I do. I feel like I'm going under
    posted by Judy
    on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am
  11. @ Judy:

    I’m sorry to hear about the struggles you are having in your marriage. I want you to know I have prayed for you over the last few days. I wondered if you had made a godly appeal to your husband about his decisions and how you are feeling without an outlet for your love for younger women. You might consider writing your thoughts and feelings out in a letter to him and then pray and trust God to work in your husband’s heart.

    Kimberly Wagner, one of our bloggers, also struggled in her marriage. I wonder if you might be encouraged by her thoughts:

    I Was One Miserable Wife: http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2199
    Marriage Killers (series of 5 blogs) http://www.kimberlywagner.org/?p=532
    Fierce Woman (includes link to video of Kimberly’s story)http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2208

    We would love to send you her newly released book Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior as a gift from our ministry. If you are interested in this gift, send your postal address to me at info@truewoman.com.

    Hang in there, Judy! God has something awesome in store as you continue to trust Him to work in this situation in your marriage. Praying for you right now!
    posted by Lorree, with the TW Team
    on Monday, November 12, 2012 at 11:23 am

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