When I was just a little girl, like a wee little thing, I had a different mom and dad. And they were kind to me, but they had hurts and they had addictions and they didn't know how to take care of themselves, much less a wee girl and her little brother.
I mean, they tried. They hung on to us for several years, but things kept slipping and they kept falling and failing and they mustered up what strength they could, but they just couldn't make it work and they couldn't make it right. And so the policemen came over and over again, and took us away and my mama cried in the back of that police car, hands cuffed, and she told me that she loved me. And I knew in my little heart, as I looked up at her, tears streaming and mascara running, I knew that she really did love me. She just couldn't make it work.
And I still remember my daddy's face, another time, when the police finally caught up with him, and took his drugs and took his booze and took us kids. And even though I was just a little thing, legs not even long enough to dangle from the seat, I knew deep inside that he was in trouble and that he couldn't make it right.
And I cried for them because every little girl wants her mommy and needs her daddy, but they were gone, again, and I felt lost. And the social workers took us to some foster homes, lots of times they took us, but we were never safe. (Did you know bad guys can live in foster homes?) I lay in bed at night wishing they would go away. And I was just a little thing.
But, one day something beautiful happened. Something strange. The social workers came and got us and put our stuff in a brown paper bag and we met a different mom and dad. And they said they wanted us. Like, forever. And we could live with them and never go away. And I really liked the idea, but I didn't know what it really meant to trust, so deep inside I didn't believe them. Not yet.
So, we came to our new home, and I had a big brother and a big sister and from the get-go they loved us and they never made us feel afraid. And my mom and dad told me how they had prayed for us, because God had put it on their heart to, and so they asked Him to show them where we were and what to do. And one day my mama walked into that government office, saw our picture and knew right away. And she told that social worker that we were her kids. And the lady disagreed and tried to protest and said it wasn't possible, but my mama knew about the God of all the impossibles, and so it wasn't long before we came home. For good. And time passed and no one ever took us away, so I believed.
And as days have turned to months which have turned to years, I still believe. I believe in that God of all the impossibles. And I've come to find that He's the One who rescues and He redeems, but He uses our hands and our feet. And He whispers His rescue plan into our hearts and hopes that we'll obey.
And this same God has healed those wounds from a mama and a daddy who just couldn't make it work and couldn't make it right. Because He gave me another mama and daddy who didn't have it altogether, but who depended on the only One who does. And people say that time heals all wounds, but I think it's love.
And every day I'm thankful that I've been rescued and that my life has been redeemed by the God who can make beauty from a mess. And I'm thankful for a family who became His hands and feet to reach out with a love that heals—reached out to the likes of me. When I was just a little thing.
(Thank you, Ma and Pa—a million times, and with tears, thank you.)
And thank You, Jesus, for always coming for me, for scooping me up and bringing me home. And thank You for how you take the bad and the ugly and the messed up in this world and You make it beautiful. You are good. You are so good. Amen.
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Comments
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 7:02 am
But now I have more tears for those who are still 'waiting' for that intervention....
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 7:13 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 7:29 am
This is just beautiful! We have been praying about if we should do foster care. Thank you for sharing your story about God's redemption.
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 8:26 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:10 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:15 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:43 am
Thanks for sharing your story.
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:53 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:56 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 10:08 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 10:08 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 10:41 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 10:57 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 11:15 am
Took me 3 long years to become her adoptive mother. But it was worthed....She's 11 years old
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 11:26 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 11:43 am
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 1:31 pm
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 1:44 pm
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 6:04 pm
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Blessings friend,
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 7:09 pm
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 7:11 pm
didn't know I was in for an ugly cry when my friend passed me this link, but ugly cry I did.
My heart is so entrenched in adoption via foster care right now, and your story was simply beautiful. I love your care for birth parents and adoptive parents in the post too. It's so true that some birth parents love their kids deeply but just can't make it work.
your post was beautiful and I hope it's part of our story sometime soon.
emily
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 9:07 pm
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 10:16 pm
I hope that God so ordains this path for us. What an encouragement you have been for me tonight!
on Friday, March 30, 2012 at 11:06 pm
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 7:12 am
Dadphil
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 8:07 am
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 9:34 am
Some days are very hard as we navigate the issues and behaviors in the two year old who has never known stability. We know that God is powerful and He can use us to impact these little lives. We are weak but He is strong!
Thank you for sharing your story.
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 10:38 am
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 6:04 pm
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 9:57 pm
on Sunday, April 1, 2012 at 7:48 pm
on Monday, April 2, 2012 at 1:48 am
on Monday, April 2, 2012 at 10:33 pm
And for the lady who was wondering about my birth parents--no, I don't have any contact with them. But, I vividly remember them and I do pray for them from time to time. The Lord has blessed me with a sweet peace regarding them.
on Tuesday, April 3, 2012 at 11:01 am
Who do you end up with? The first family that loved you. A new lady who walked into social services and got you? Your mom demanded you back? (the rest of your article answers that but..)
Not sure why no one else asked. It isn't clear at all. You get adopted, that's clear.
I have a similar story. Glad God sent you some reprieve from your beginnings, I hope that people of that class are not now people you avoid. Though I am now very well off financially, it still sickens me to see people like myself who've 'come up' in life only making nice with the well to do-ers and leaving those with 'hopeless' pasts, there.
I am not in touch with my Dad only because I have no idea where he is. I haven't left my very abusive mother behind, for only prayer. But have minimal contact, each time trying to encourage her toward Christ. She hasn't become untouchable because of her tendency to verbally abuse, the Lord has helped me to allow her to know what I will and won't accept, and make it clear that I love her and will honor her no matter what her lifestyle.
Please do not take this as 'judgment'. I do not know your whole situation. However, I know that luxury and 'faith' sometimes help people to excuse their birth beginnings. Please re-consider how you approach her. God may use you, you never know. A letter or a phone call from an unlisted phone may just be the thing that opens her eyes to Christ like sympathy and then salvation.
on Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 2:54 pm
Thank you for taking the time to tell me your thoughts and perspective. I take them to heart. Big time.
I'm sorry the story was confusing. Here's the deal--the lady who walked into the social workers office is the mom I have now. I don't have any contact with my birth family. At least, not yet.
And I so get what you're saying about not forgetting our birth beginnings. My birth beginnings are stamped on me for life. I wouldn't change one detail. I still very much love my birth family and pray for them often. And am even asking God if I should ever try to contact them and so your words of encouragement there go a long way.
My early relationship with my birth parents and faith in Jesus has only made me more compassionate for those who haven't been rescued yet. For the down and out. For the ones that are still stuck in that lifestyle. Because really? That's my roots. I know where I've come from and I won't forget. I can't.
Prayed for you and your family just now.
And again, thank you.
on Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 3:46 pm