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Radio Guest Blogger

When Mother's Day Isn't a Celebration

Posted on 05.11.12 by a Guest Blogger

This post is written by Noel Piper.

God knows Mother’s Day is the hardest day in the year for some of you. Your sadness may be related to your mother:

  • Your mother is not alive.
  • Life with your mother was too difficult to celebrate.
  • Your mother wasn’t part of your life.
  • You can’t celebrate with your mother because she lives too far away.
  • Your mother is ill or suffering dementia.

It may be grief related to your own mothering:

  • You have longed for children but have never been able to be pregnant.
  • You have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth and never had even one sweet moment of looking into your baby’s eyes.
  • After that loss, you fear it might happen again.
  • You laid your baby down to sleep one afternoon or evening, and your little one never woke again.
  • After losing that child, you feel fear when you look at your other children or think of having another.
  • You were so close to adopting the child you already loved from a distance, and then the plans fell through.
  • Your child—whether a child or adult—lost the battle to a disease, or died accidentally, or was murdered, or took his or her own life.
  • Your child was placed for adoption and has another mother now.
  • You grieve over a pregnancy you chose to end.
  • Your child is alienated from you.
  • You’ve always dreamed you’d be married by now, with children, and that hasn’t happened.
  • Your child has a disability that doesn’t permit you ever to hear “I love you” from him or her.

God knows. That wasn’t a throw-away phrase I used at the beginning. God does know. He knows your fear, grief, anger, anxiety, love—the welter of emotions today that you hardly know how to name. He knows that even though you may be mostly composed most days, this day stirs it all up.

I pray that your church and others close to you will be Christ’s hands and heart for you this Mother’s Day. Even if other people aren’t aware or sensitive, I pray that you can feel deeply the com-passion (together-suffering) of Jesus who bears our griefs and carries our sorrows.

Is Mother’s Day a celebration for you this year? Why or why not? Either way . . .

  • Ask God to fulfill His purposes. God uses adversity to show us what is in our hearts, to purify us, and to deepen our dependence on Him (Deut. 8:3).
  • Place your confidence in the Lord. He can be trusted. He loves you, He knows what you are facing, and He cares for you. Trust Him to meet your needs (Matt. 6:25–34).
  • Reach out to others. Don’t just think about your own problems; put the needs of others ahead of your own (Phil. 2:4).
  • Rejoice in the Lord. Don’t let the enemy steal your joy. If you have God, you have everything you need, and you have reason to rejoice (Hab. 3:17–18)!

Bullet points excerpted from Hope for Uncertain Times by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Comments

  1. Thank you for this timely article. I received much help from it. I would encourage others in painful life situations to meditate on these scriptures and do what it says.
    posted by Linda Powell
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 7:26 am
  2. Thank you, Noel, for this timely and encouraging word. I have posted it on Facebook too as I am confident it will help others.
    posted by Donna Rasmussen
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 7:55 am
  3. Written with sensitivity. It wakes a sense of responsibility to me to be aware of the loss in the lives of others. Thank you.
    theshepherdspresence.wordpress.com
    posted by Karyl Entner
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 9:13 am
  4. Great point. My grandma passed away last week. I will send this to my mom.
    http://www.pruningprincesses.blogspot.com
    posted by Laura
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 9:24 am
  5. Does anyone here have some ideas how I could bless two mothers in my life, one who's toddler year old died in a car accident some years ago, another who suddenly lost her teen daughter due to an unexpected problem during surgery.

    Any ideas at all would be welcome.

    Thank you Mrs. Piper, this has been heavy on my heart.
    posted by Anonymous
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm
  6. *I was going to put the toddlers age but decided anonymity might be best for them. I forgot to edit the words 'year old'.
    posted by Anon again
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 3:15 pm
  7. Thank you for that. I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 years, and almost lost my marriage b/c of it. People don't realize how hard this day can be for some; while I'm so thankful for my great mother and my beautiful nephews, my heart still hurts on this day.
    posted by Reanna
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm
  8. Anonymous--

    Acknowledge that they are still and will always be the mothers of their dearly departed children. Those of us who have lost children will never forget and we would rather our friends didn't ignore the elephant in the room. Just love on them and sit and cry with them if need be.
    posted by Lisa
    on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 11:24 pm
  9. Thanks for sharing this post. I learned much:) God bless u
    posted by Melinda
    on Saturday, May 12, 2012 at 9:13 am
  10. Thanks so much Lisa, I wondered/worried if I ought not say a thing. But often imagine their beautiful faces amongst the cloud of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews, therefore want to share my love of those I've never met yet think loving thoughts (thankful) of them. Not sure if that makes sense.

    May we remember to pray for those Noel mentioned, amongst them a mother of a dear little girl named Daisy who's in the hospital today (third time 7 year old daisy has had cancer you can see her story and encourage that mom @ prayfordaisy.com).

    I'm thankful for my moms and children today and will join all who pray for those in difficult situations.
    posted by Anonymous
    on Saturday, May 12, 2012 at 1:15 pm
  11. Thank you for this sweet post. I live very far from my mother, and it's always challenging on Mother's Day to be away from her...this gave me so much perspective and reminded me of how thankful I need to remember to be for having her still on this earth and for the Godly relationship we have.
    http://walkinginthelowlight.blogspot.com
    posted by Jen
    on Saturday, May 12, 2012 at 8:51 pm
  12. Thank you. This is so validating for us who have lost mother's and feel the grief still. Even after seven years. Happy Mother's Day to you...
    www.joyfuljava.blogspot.com
    posted by Becky Crenshaw
    on Sunday, May 13, 2012 at 5:40 am
  13. Thank you so much. Having lost our first child to miscarriage in February, this Mothers Day has been very hard for me. I really appreciate this reminder :)
    sunandclearpebbles.wordpress.com
    posted by Courtney
    on Sunday, May 13, 2012 at 6:39 am
  14. Thank you for the post. I am the result of a teenage pregnancy. For most of my life I've felt alone, abandoned and unimportant. My mom left me with my grandparents when I was ten (after years of being in and out of my life) and hasn't been seen or heard from since. I am now 47 years old, married, and have three beautiful children. My husband and I are experiencing and have experienced a tremendous amount of financial and relational difficulties. We both come from challenging backgrounds and have almost zero support from our biological families. The scriptures you shared in the post are water to my dry and thirsty life. Thank you again.
    posted by anonymous
    on Sunday, May 13, 2012 at 5:39 pm
  15. Anonymous,

    We are thankful to know that God has used this post and His Word to encourage you today. We want to remind you that you are special and important to our Father. He doesn’t make mistakes. He knew you before you came to be (Ps. 139) and has a wonderful plan for your life (Jer. 29:11-14). Spend much time in the Word, sweet friend. While this may not change the difficulties you and your husband are going through, it will help you to recognize the lies of the enemy so that you can fight them with Truth. God loves you, friend! Praying for you today!
    posted by Lorree, with the TW Team
    on Monday, May 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

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