4 comments

Erin Davis

Postpartum Depression: You Can Be a Lifeline!

Posted on 05.16.12 by Erin Davis | Twitter: @ErinGraffiti

To some degree, sleeplessness, anxiety, and changing emotions are a normal result of delivery and adjustment to a new baby. However, there are times when the “baby blues” progress to postpartum depression (PPD).

Here are several signs that might indicate that someone you know is suffering with postpartum depression:

  • Insomnia
  • Feelings of hopelessness or emptiness
  • Anxiety or panic attacks
  • Loss of appetite
  • Overwhelming guilt
  • Feeling removed from her baby, spouse, or other children
  • A lack of desire to care for or hold her baby
  • Constant or frequent crying
  • Anger toward her baby or spouse
  • Refusing guests and visitors for reasons other than the health of the baby
  • Thoughts of harming herself or her child

If that list brought to mind a daughter, granddaughter, or friend, what should you do? How can you help a mom who is struggling with PPD? Here are some practical ways to encourage and strengthen her.

Start talking
Remember that friend I mentioned in my earlier post? For thirty years she has carried around feelings of guilt and shame over her struggle with PPD. She told me that having someone to talk to about her feelings would have made all the difference in the world. But it’s not an easy conversation to have. A mom with postpartum depression may not be able to articulate her feelings. That’s why you need to start the conversation. Try one of these simple conversation starters:

  • Is there anything about motherhood that is making you feel sad or afraid?
  • I know after I had my baby I felt ___________. Do you ever feel that way?
  • How can I pray for you?

Make plans
New moms are in a daze. The combination of a major life adjustment, sleep deprivation, and caring for the constant needs of others temporarily throws her into the Twilight Zone. Keep that in mind and don’t wait for her to call you. Ask if you can come over and hold the baby. Invite her and the baby out for a daily walk in the first few weeks. Find out if there is a task she can offload on you for a while such as grocery shopping or laundry, and connect with her often while you meet her practical needs.

The isolation that comes with new motherhood can often compound postpartum depression. Make the effort to get into her world often.

Seek the sun
I had two February babies. My baby blues were compounded by the fact that we could not go outside during the cold Missouri winter causing me to become Vitamin D deficient. It’s not a cure-all, but some time in the light can really help boost a sad momma.

Invite the PPD mom in your life to come outside with you. Plan a picnic, invite her to an afternoon in the backyard, offer to take her and her older children to the park. The point is, get that momma outside for some light therapy.

And speaking of light . . .

Use the Word
God’s Word can be a life raft to those who are struggling. That includes mommas with PPD. One of the best things you can do for a new mom who’s been thrown for a loop is to help her find specific verses to hold on to during dark days. Some examples are Philippians 4:6, Psalm 127:3, and Psalm 46:1.

Make it easy for her; write the verses out on cards she can post around the house (perhaps in the nursery to read during those middle of the night feedings).

Titus 2 is a reminder that women need each other. That’s true in all stages of life but can be especially true for a woman struggling under the weight of postpartum depression. Take it from someone who’s been there, wisdom and care from other women can be a lifeline!

Is there a mom in your world you can reach out to today?

Comments

  1. These are all great tips! I would also recommend that the new mom struggling with PPD tell her OB-GYN at the next appointment. He or she will be able to help evaluate the extent of PPD, and recommend anti-depressants if needed. My best friend is just coming out from PPD which started after the birth of her 3rd child in December. Anti-depressants made a world of difference, and I'm thankful that she had the courage to be open and honest with her husband and OB-GYN. It's not a cure-all for all PPD, but it was for her. Christians ought not to feel shame in admitting to mental illness, as if they are lacking spiritual strength to overcome PPD on their own. Sometimes (not always, but definitely in certain cases), God's answer to PPD is medication.
    posted by Lindsay
    on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 10:59 am
  2. just want to thank Lindsay for adding to this article what was sorely missing - seeking help from a medical professional and taking medication if needed without stigma attached.
    posted by Ang
    on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm
  3. I am not against being medicated when needed but I do believe that we live in a culture where we are quick to turn to medicine to fix everything. I believe Christians should first turn to God and the wise counsel of other believers and the Holy Spirit before turning to meds. God may then show you that, that is what He will use to help you but most likely He will want you to take in more of him. I had extreme PPD for a long time and the Lord did for me in an instant what medication didn't ( couldnt) do in several months. With the medication I felt numb with the Lord I felt alive
    posted by Amber
    on Thursday, May 17, 2012 at 8:11 am
  4. All good advice for helping women with PPD and I would definitely agree that seeking medical help is necessary. After the birth of my third child, I found that the regular old "baby blues" weren't getting any better, and were actually getting worse. When I started realizing that the feelings weren't connected to anything in particular (lack of sleep, poor nutrition, lack of a support system), I decided to start taking antidepressants. It's not something that every woman needs with PPD, but too often, Christians feel that taking them means that they are "bad Christians" and are told that they just need to trust God more or pray more or read Scripture more and they'll just be fine. For me, the PPD drew me closer to God and the medication allowed me to process what God was trying to teach me during that difficult newborn stage. I don't feel numb or euphoric...I just feel normal and normal is all I need.
    www.thewarriorwives.com
    posted by Elizabeth@Warrior Wives
    on Thursday, May 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

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