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Radio Guest Blogger

Holy Sexuality

Posted on 06.04.12 by a Guest Blogger

The following post is adapted from Christopher and Angela Yuan’s book, Out of A Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God. A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope. We encourage you to listen to their story today through next Monday on Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, especially if you or someone you know is affected by homosexuality, or if you’re a parent of a prodigal. This excerpt is written by Christopher.

As Christopher came to faith in Christ, he continued to battle sexual temptation that he had given into for so many years. In his book, he explains how God began to change his thinking in this area of his life. The following is a brief excerpt from a chapter where he gives a fuller (and helpful) treatment of this difficult subject. We’d encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read further.

Holy sexuality means one of two scenarios. The first scenario is marriage. If a man is married, he must devote himself to complete faithfulness to his wife. And if a woman is married, she must devote herself to complete faithfulness to her husband. The idea that I might marry a woman had seemed like an impossibility—though God could do the impossible. But the truth was, I did not need to be attracted to women in general to get married; I needed to be attracted to only one woman.

Heterosexuality is a broad term that focuses on sexual feelings and behaviors toward the opposite gender. It includes lust, adultery, and sex before marriage—all sins according to the Bible. God calls married people to something much more specific—holy sexuality. Holy sexuality means focusing all our sexual feelings and behaviors exclusively toward one person, our spouse.

The second scenario of holy sexuality is singleness. Single people must devote themselves to complete faithfulness to the Lord through celibacy. This is clearly taught throughout Scripture, and abstinence is not something unfair or unreasonable for God to ask of his people. Singleness is not a curse. Singleness is not a burden. As heirs of the new covenant, we know that the emphasis is not on procreation but regeneration. But singleness need not be permanent. It merely means being content in our present situation while being open to marriage—and yet not consumed by the pursuit of marriage.

Holy sexuality doesn’t mean that I no longer have any sexual feelings or attractions. Nor is it the obliteration of my sexuality either. God created us as sexual beings with the natural desire for intimacy. And everyone is created to desire intimate, God-honoring, nonsexual relationships with the same gender. But because of the effects of original sin, this normal feeling has been distorted. I believe homosexuality (and any other sin, such as jealousy, pride, and gluttony) stems from a legitimate need fulfilled in an illegitimate way.

So the question is, if I continue to have these feelings I neither asked for nor chose, will I still be willing to follow Christ no matter what? Is my obedience to Christ dependent on whether he answered my prayers my way? God’s faithfulness is proved not by the elimination of hardships but by carrying us through them. Change is not the absence of struggles; change is the freedom to choose holiness in the midst of our struggles. I realized that the ultimate issue has to be that I yearn after God in total surrender and complete obedience.

What do I think I can’t live without? This was the question I had been asking. And finally, I was finding some answers. I was realizing that there were a lot of things I could live without—and it was freeing. I was not controlled by my past addictions, my old idols, my sexual attractions, or my sexuality.

What do I think I can’t live without? Well, there was one thing, or more specifically one person, I knew I couldn’t live without—Jesus. And I needed more and more of Him each day.

Lord, you are sufficient; you are all I need . . . and don't let me ever, ever forget that. 

Excerpted from Out Of A Far Country by Christopher Yuan & Angela Yuan by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


Comments

  1. Thank you Christopher for sharing such an intimate yet relevant testimony. The subject of homosexuality has become this battle of who feels what verses what the Worid of God says. So thank you and your mother for stepping out and being a voice in transparency. Also for your care and delicacy. So many times as Christians we become the bullies and are too abrasive, verses the approach God tells us to take while giving truth. May God continue to bless you and your family. Thank you also ROH for your courage everyday! May God bless all of you as well!
    posted by Aja
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 9:39 am
  2. Thank you Christopher for sharing such an intimate yet relevant testimony. The subject of homosexuality has become this battle of who feels what verses what the Word of God says. So thank you and your mother for stepping out and being a voice in transparency. Also for your care and delicacy. So many times as Christians we become the bullies and are too abrasive, verses the approach God tells us to take while giving truth. May God continue to bless you and your family. Thank you also ROH for your courage everyday! May God bless all of you as well!
    posted by Aja
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 9:40 am
  3. Christopher I would love to know how to approach my brother, who has decided not to follow Jesus because he can't be gay and a Christian at the same time, but his lifestyle is self destructive with drugs and promiscuity. I love him so much, am close to him and praying for him and would love to put your book in his hands. Any suggestions on how to do this well and with respect? Thank you!
    posted by Amanda
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 9:58 am
  4. Thanks for your openness. I heard you speak at a conference at Wheaton College several years ago for troubled youth. Your mom was there. I thank God for your testimony.

    This word is needed to address so many hurting people in the church who have not been given any hope of overcoming - not living in defeat but victory despite the struggles, weaknesses and challenges. The blood of Jesus is able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We then live to please Him in all that we do.
    posted by Elveria
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 10:03 am
  5. i read this book recently and it's funny because of all the book, these 2 pages are the ones that i thought were the best. christopher hit the nail on the head in this one. i'll be using this passage in a teaching i'm doing on sex next week. thanks.
    posted by lina
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 10:27 am
  6. This book was fascinating, engaging and Christ-exalting. I have recommended it to many people. After reading it, I was left with renewed awe for God's amazing grace and His perfect plan for our lives!

    As far as the "holy sexuality" part, I shared it with my brother who is not a believer. It opened the door for some good conversation and a great opportunity to show him God's love and holiness.
    posted by Tracy
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 11:18 am
  7. The book was so encouraging ... not only to observe his mom modeling Christ, but also to see how the Lord turned Christopher's heart and redeemed his life. I will share this powerful post.
    http://heartchoicestoday.blogspot.com/
    posted by Dawn Wilson
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm
  8. Thank you, Christopher. My parents adopted a Vietnamese orphan in the 1970's - our only boy! My brother is 11 years younger than me, and 16 years younger than my sister. We adore him, and spoiled him rotten. In the 1980's, my parents took him to a wedding, and allowed him to go to the restroom unattended. He was molested by a wedding guest. He told me he was gay when he lived with me while attending college. My family is heartbroken. But, as the years have gone by, everyone just seems to be accepting this lifestyle. They say, "Whose to say that his sin is any worse than mine." While I applaud the fact that we can love the sinner, this attitude does not feel right to me. Your excerpt actually comforted me in knowing that you still struggle with these feelings. I just don't seem to know how to pray for him.
    posted by Flora
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 2:49 pm
  9. Thanks for posting this! I have once again had a wakeup call, had to take an honest look at how many excuses I have been making for my sinful choices, face some tough issues, and look at how the pattern of allowing 'just a little of something' in my life, starts me on the slippery slide away from Christ.
    Whether male or female, Moral Purity is so vital to a healthy Christian walk I praise God that I was able to take some steps this morning after reading this to confess and 'clean up my act'.
    I needed this!!!
    Also, the website -settingcaptivesfree.com looks like an incredible resource for those desiring God's way to free us.
    God bless your willingness to teach the Truth.
    posted by Kay
    on Monday, June 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm
  10. Dear Amanda,

    As much as you love your brother, what is first and foremost must be your trust in God's sovereignty and control in his life. Our book is a great resource for all people in seeing the narrative of the Gospel woven in our family. My suggestion is for you to be sure you read it for yourself before giving a copy to your brother. Please do not view our book as a tool to pressure and persuade change from your brother. Rather, use the book as a way to open up honest dialogue about your genuine desire to understand him better. A great way to present the book to him is to tell him of a great book you recently read and wanted to see what he thought about it? Honest and true. May God continue to sustain and comfort you during your own spiritual journey.

    Blessings & Joy,

    Christopher Yuan
    posted by Christopher
    on Wednesday, June 6, 2012 at 9:10 am

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