Biking by the river the other evening, I passed a one-legged man in a wheelchair and realized again that life just isn’t fair. Why should I have two legs to pedal while he is constrained to a chair?

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Paula Hendricks

When You Want What He or She Has

Posted on 07.09.12 by Paula Hendricks | Twitter: @PaulaWrites678

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EnvyBiking by the river the other evening, I passed a one-legged man in a wheelchair and realized again that life just isn’t fair. Why should I have two legs to pedal while he is constrained to a chair?  

It made me think—again—of a workshop I attended at The Gospel Coalition Conference. I tend to think of comparison as something mostly women deal with, but Carolyn Mahaney shared about the time the apostle Peter was also tempted to compare.

Peter’s Death Sentence
Isn’t it exciting to eavesdrop on others’ conversations? Amazingly, in John 21, we get to listen in on Jesus’ enigmatic conversation with Peter:

“’Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.’ (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.)” (v. 18, emphasis added)

Just like that, Peter receives his death sentence—death by crucifixion, just like Jesus. What a lot to take in! But there isn’t much time for Peter to process, because Jesus is still talking:

"And after saying this he said to him, ‘Follow me’” (v. 19).

Where’s Your Sympathy?
Carolyn Mahaney registered her surprise at Jesus’ statement, “Follow me”:

“Shouldn’t Jesus have sympathized with Peter? Instead, He gave a command. The one thing that would most help Peter would be to follow Jesus, so He would have grace and enjoy intimate communion with Him . . . Isn’t it true that we want pity when we’re experiencing something difficult? Yet our greater need is to have someone caringly give us biblical counsel. And that’s what our Lord gave to Peter.”

She pointed out that like Peter, we all have things that happen in our lives that we don’t prefer, circumstances that we can’t change. But each of these has been assigned to us by God so that ultimately we might glorify Him (v. 19).

Well What About Him? What About Her?
At this point in the conversation, Peter pipes up. He turns around, spots John following them, and says to Jesus, “What about this man?”

He starts to compare. Boy, do I relate. How easy it is to turn my attention away from God and His Word and look at others, to compare my circumstances with theirs.

The Lord answers Peter’s question, but not as we’d expect. He repeats his command, along with what appears like a sharp rebuke and a rhetorical question:

“If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (v. 22)

In other words, “It’s none of your business. Stop comparing yourself to him and follow me.” In Carolyn’s words:

“Jesus allowed Peter no time to indulge in self-pity. Again, we might be tempted to think this is insensitive. But yet again, this rebuke is the most loving thing Jesus could’ve said to Peter. See, for Peter to turn his attention away from the Savior and look at John was the worst thing he could do, the most detrimental action he could take. Sinful comparison is a futile, destructive exercise. It robs us of joy and destroys our peace . . .”

Jesus would say the same thing to you and me when we compare ourselves to others: “What is that to you? What I have assigned to them is not your concern.”

“Follow Me”
It’s not enough to just stop comparing ourselves with others. There was also something Jesus said Peter needed to do instead: “You follow me” (v. 22).

In order for Peter to face his future martyr death, he needed to follow Jesus. He didn’t need to hear or do anything else. Jesus gives us the same command. For every unwanted experience, the Lord says, you follow me. And as we obey, we receive the grace we need.

What circumstance has you comparing your lot with others? How can you practically fix your gaze on Jesus today—rather than others—and follow Him?

Tradition has it that Peter died around A.D. 65, which means he lived three decades with this prediction hanging over him. But he didn’t allow this to distract him from following Jesus. Lord, please show us—like Peter—how to glorify and follow You in the personally-tailored ways You’ve assigned for us to show You to be the great God that You are. Thank You, Jesus, that You followed Your Father all the way to the Cross and paid our sin debt so that we might be friends and daughters of God.

Comments

  1. I love how in the Narnia books, whenever someone asks Aslan for too much information about another's circumstances, Aslan reminds them he will only tell them their own story. I need to listen as the Lord directs me in "my story" rather than get caught up in comparing what He is doing in another's life. Thanks for this post!
    posted by Sharon
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 8:49 am
  2. Amen and amen! Thank you, Paula. May I, may we, be found faithful to glorify Him in our own God-ordained circumstances, running our race with our eyes fixed upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
    posted by Elaine
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 10:13 am
  3. Perfect timing for me as I face many uncertainites and much trial right now in my life! God bless your ministry.
    posted by Kay
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 11:06 am
  4. Great post! I waste way too much time comparing myself with others. I think about whether I have more or less money than they, how my clothes stack up to theirs, how my kids are doing compared to theirs, and whether I'm fatter or thinner! What a waste! Thanks for reminding me to focus my thoughts and energy on following Jesus!
    posted by Sharon
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 11:25 am
  5. Good truth about how we turn our gaze onto others and away from Jesus. Has anyone else read The Envy of Eve by Melissa Kruger? A friend gave it to me and I started reading it-- it is quite convicting how often we really covet and get fixated on what others have-including life circumstances- instead of fixing our gaze upon the Lord.
    www.evewebzine.wordpress.com
    posted by Shelley
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm
  6. What a great reminder that Jesus is so personally involved with each one of us and our lives. We are uniquely beautiful and loved by Him. He knows that all that we need and the very best for us is found in following Him. If only we could see it all through His eyes!
    posted by Judy
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 5:09 pm
  7. “Jesus allowed Peter no time to indulge in self-pity. I love this post and thank you for this. Very timely and needed.
    posted by ~Lynn
    on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 6:55 pm
  8. The Lost American Dream documentary or episode by Lisa Ling on Oprah Winfrey Network speaks the realities of what many people face not only in America, but around the world through financial hardships. There are many people who take for granted of what they have or wished they had things in order to make them happy. The documentary showed the hardships of families in different situations. I was very deeply touched by all the stories especially about the man who lost his six figure job and who is struggling to kept his spirit alive. The 56 year old man had been unemployed for several years and is working at a custodian for a church and continues to apply for jobs to be financially stable. The man is drained by the hardships and his in-laws do not speak with him nor had invited him to a Christmas holiday because they pay the rent for the house and are fed up with him. The man's wife has cancer and his drained, but lost patience for her husband's unemployment situation. The man's children are embarrassed that his father is not making 6 figures and tell their father to drop them at the back of the school to prevent friends or classmates to see the old car that their father drives. I personally think he's an awesome dad for packing lunch for his children and driving his children to school. The children and wife should not make their dad or husband feel that he is a failure. Instead they should lift his spirits, be supportive, understanding, and stand by his side instead of neglecting him or making him feel bad. The car that they had is truly a blessing because there are many people who wished they can afford a car to aid them in their life. Although this family is struggling, but they are blessed to have a home, food, car, clothes, and all. I see many homeless people on the streets and you bet they would trade in a heartbeat for the life that the family in Lake Bluff, IL have when compared to the darkness the homeless face daily. I wanted to say my family and I supported charities giving toys, food, clothes, furniture, appliances, and so forth because we know that it is very important to give back. My parents grew up in a poor middle class and there were definitely struggles of financial, food, clothing, and so forth. They always taught my sibling and I about the importance of helping those in need including animals. I see many food drives and collection boxes and many people do not take the time to donate even 1 can of vegetables or a small toy for a child while these people spend on new shoes, clothes, jewelry, and go to restaurants. It's so important to help those in need because even a small support goes a long way. These stories taught us how life can be altered and a person who lives comfortably can become homeless or something. I hope this episode open the eyes, hearts, and minds of people to see the truth. I hope anyone who read this does what this episode and ask yourself do you really need designer clothes or that new product. What's really important in life and what are your blessings?
    posted by Godsgirl
    on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at 1:58 am

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