8 comments

Jani Ortlund

Submission: An Age-Old Struggle

Posted on 11.09.12 by Jani Ortlund | Twitter: @JaniOrtlund

One pastor recently officiated the wedding of his beautiful daughter. Looking deeply into her eyes he asked, “Do you know what makes a man a leader?”

“One person to follow him,” he answered.

Sounds easy enough, but submission is an age-old struggle that began in the Garden of Eden:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food . . . she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate. (Gen. 3:6).

Here you see the serpent ignore the man and start talking with the woman. Then, she takes his bait as if her husband is not even there. She doesn’t ask for his input or direction.

And Adam? He’s doing nothing. He doesn’t get involved or try to protect his woman. This is the first role reversal. Who is leading? The woman. Who is responding? The man. That has become the pattern for how men and women relate to each other ever since.

But God calls us, as His daughters, to break that cycle. He tells us “the head of every man is Christ, and the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Cor. 11:3). Male leadership is not a wicked human invention to be overcome. It existed in heaven before the world was made and came down to this world as a gift, a blessing.

We must not think of submission as a sign of weakness or victimization. After all, Jesus Christ Himself submitted to His Father. To choose deference over defiance, meekness instead of arrogance, flexibility rather than stubbornness, a gracious adaptability in the way you relate to your husband . . . this is kingdom work!

Ultimately, a wife’s submission doesn’t say as much about her view of marriage as it does about her view of God. If you can’t have a submissive and flexible spirit in the ups and downs of marriage, how will you be able to trust God with the whole of your existence as a woman?

So, how about you? Are you making it easy for your man? Are you being his helper in this way?

Comments

  1. Jani, this is a struggle for me, since I was not raised in a home where submission was modeled. My default mode is fierce independence
    The occasional times I get it right, though. my husband is so affirmed that it makes me want to struggle on, with Christ's help.
    posted by Susan Fisher
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm
  2. BEAUTIFUL POST!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes, we women don't even realize what we're doing! We THINK we're being submissive & those looking in THINK we're being submissive. BUT, I have found IF we TRUELY want GOD to rule & reign in our lives, HE will set us right! It will PROBABLY HURT but, in the end, our relationship with GOD & our HUSBAND will be the BETTER for it!!!!!!!! :)(Speaking from experience here!)
    http://tladydesigns.blogspot.com/
    posted by Becky Green
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm
  3. This subject is one that needs to be expanded on much!
    I love this post and its' extremely important message.
    Very well written and it gets down to the basics.

    My concern is what I am seeing happen in our churches, within the christian community. I have never in all my years, which is mid 50 range, seen such aggressive, insensitive, pushy women. The spirit of the world is in the church in this area especially.

    The aggression that is portrayed towards women who practice biblical womanhood is so severe anymore... that it is heartbreaking. Every area is being attacked. If you consult your husband, stay home and/or work from home, make your children and husband a priority, make even your home your priority, then you will be an open target for scorn and criticism. If you don't bring home a paycheck you are counted as worthless. This is within the church.

    I can honestly say the only support I receive from living a biblical womanhood, is from Revive Our Hearts. I can always get encouraged when I listen to Nancy encouraging women. The blogs, the guests, and the resources are truly a blessing to help all women who are in this battle FOR submission.

    I try to support this ministry when I am able and want to continue to do so and do more when possible. It is the only way to keep this biblical message alive.
    posted by Lynn
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm
  4. Very true! Quite a struggle for me as well, but once I realized it is an issue of my obedience to the Lord's design...the Lord has enabled me to see this as sin and a defiance to the Lord...it's been great and my husband noticed it...and I've seen better days in my married life...Thanks Lord!
    posted by Judith
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 5:23 pm
  5. I agree with Lynn! I haven't worked since I married, 26 years ago! (I too am in my 50's) People, family, whoever, think the woman HAS TO BE out there working in the world & treat you as if you're STUDIP! I've had my parents say to me in the past, "You aren't even using your education!" My sister-in-law said I was a "kept woman!" The decision for me to stay home & not work outside of the home, was made WITH MY HUSBAND! We knew what we wanted but, everyone had their thoughts & felt free to give their opinions! I think their freedom to give their opinions has alot to do with JEALOUSY & ENVY & they think they have the right to INTERFERE! It's ALWAYS NICE to find a friend who stays home too for support! Although, that is a DIFFICULT TASK today!
    http://tladydesigns.blogspot.com/
    posted by Becky Green
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 6:49 pm
  6. Good post, Jani. I was in my early 30s before I really dealt with submission to my Lord and Savior, and then--somehow--submission to my husband fell into place as a natural consequence. We've raised a family, I was home during the years when children were in the home but been a professional outside the home before and after, now retired and approaching our 49th wedding anniversary with much delight. Although I can be a strong-willed and head-strong woman at times, our marriage has been a delightful adventure in faith and I wouldn't trade what I've learned through submission. Delighted to see younger women realizing the importance of this great truth.
    www.BuildingFamilyLegacies.com
    posted by Phyllis Smith Kester
    on Friday, November 9, 2012 at 8:48 pm
  7. Thank you for this post. This topic has been a struggle for me from the beginning of my marriage. Praying that God will continue to direct me to reminders like this one.
    http://www.smalltownraces.blogspot.com
    posted by Raina
    on Sunday, November 11, 2012 at 2:50 pm
  8. Reading this this morning the thought came to me........Women that fight being submissive to their husbands as unto the Lord, are in reality being submissive. They are being submissive to satan through disobedience. Pretty sad isn't it.
    posted by Cindy B
    on Tuesday, January 1, 2013 at 9:24 am

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