Jennifer cussed the chaplain out when she arrived at prison to serve her sixteen-year sentence. But in the privacy of her cell, she repeatedly beat her head against the concrete wall until it bled. Without drugs, she knew no other way to mask the anger and bitterness she had known from childhood.
For most of her twenty-two years, Jennifer’s parents said she was a mistake—that she was supposed to be a boy. So, Jennifer believed that God makes mistakes.
At ten, a nineteen-year-old from church began molesting Jennifer. To add to this evil, he asked her to act out Bible stories such as Adam and Eve. At this point, Jennifer wanted nothing to do with God.
She started drinking at age eleven to make the pain go away. By twelve, she was cutting, participating in criminal activity, and abusing drugs. By seventeen, she was a “mule,” trafficking drugs from Tulsa to Memphis.
One night, wondering how her life had turned out the way it had, Jennifer breathed a simple prayer, “Help. If You’re listening, help.”
She didn’t think about that prayer again until twenty-seven days later, when she saw six squad cars in her rearview mirror. As Jennifer was slammed to the pavement and cuffed, a load lifted from her. While she didn’t know what it would look like, she was certain life as she knew it was over.
After arriving at prison, Jennifer mocked the inmates in the PAL program (Principles & Applications for Life—a Bible boot camp of sorts). But she watched them. Their joy haunted her because it was something she had never known.
So she caved and joined them. For ten weeks, she heard things she’d never heard before: Forgiveness equals freedom; God uses authority for direction, provision, and protection for our lives. And, if she would believe in Jesus’ sacrifice for her sins, He would give her a new identity.
Ten weeks came and went, and the chaplain asked Jennifer to stay ten more. She couldn’t understand why—after the trouble she’d caused—but Jennifer agreed.
And on December 21, 2000, God’s Spirit interacted with her through His Word for the first time in her life. When that class ended, Jennifer got on her knees and told God if He could salvage what was left of her life, it was His.
And it has been, ever since.
"If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Cor. 5:17)
Catch the whole story in Nancy’s radio interview, “From Bondage to Freedom: Jennifer Smith’s Story” this week on ReviveOurHearts.com.
PS: You know I told you I visited prison last month? I stayed with Jennifer Smith while I was there. She got out of prison on May 31, 2011, and now goes back into prison a couple days a week to invest in the inmates she was once incarcerated with. She’s a dear friend and an incredible hostess. Well, other than the fake mouse she put in my bed the first night. But that’s another story altogether . . .
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Comments
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 6:00 am
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 9:46 am
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 10:09 am
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee"
The hymn And Can It Be came to mind...written by Charles Wesley.
Beautiful story of God's redeeming love.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 11:04 am
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 11:27 am
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 11:37 am
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 12:33 pm
I will most certainly be agreeing with you in prayer for your daughter. It may look hopeless now but God has an amazing ability to take those things that the enemy meant for as bad and turn them into good. Just recently I found a piece of paper in my grandmother's Bible (the one who helped raise me) and it was a prayer list of lost souls in her family that she had a burden for and there my name was underlined. She died when I was 18 and never got to see the changes in my life but she had Faith in a God who she knew that nothing was impossible to Him. So years later her prayers were answered. May the Lord continue to strengthen you and May you continue to draw power from the life of Christ as you endure this difficult time. Praying for your daughter and if you would like to email me personally with your daughters name and request we will send this prayer request to a group of prayer warriors who love to pray. Blessings to you. Jennifer Smith
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 12:42 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 12:48 pm
Thanks for the courage to share your testimony. As a college tutor I met a young woman 5 years ago-shared with her all the time we tutored her through a degree-then she went to another college-and after losing touch with her-I found she was working as an erotic escort. She was back in jail recently and reached out to me-but when I wrote back the letters were returned.
I've been looking and praying diligently for someone or some ministry that is much more equipped than I to deal with this type stuff-we are in OKC
Her name is Nora and she needs the Lord. Praying that your victory will become hers and she'll come to know the Lord.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 1:03 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 1:03 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 1:15 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 1:32 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 1:56 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Joining you in that prayer. So grateful for your service and your willingness to reach out to Nora. Maybe check with the Chaplain at where she is incarcerated and if we can be of any help you can contact us through the Prison to Purpose website.(www.prisontopurpose.com) Blessing to you.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Thank you for sharing. Getting past the conflict with my parents was just simply I had to choose to forgive. When I realized all that I have been forgiven of, forgiveness toward them wasn't as hard and realizing that God wanted me to Honor and respect my parents, it was easy to focus on their weaknesses or shortcomings but this focus was a breeding ground for disrespect. Over the years I have realized that the parents God gave me where custom made for me and the ability to draw upon the power of Christ to enable me to maintain honor and respect for them. Learning how to be a lady and interact with other ladies, I first had to humble myself and admit my need for guidance in that area and then be willing to be taught. God placed some wonderful older ladies in my life while I was in prison. Revive our Hearts has also played a huge role when it comes to womanhood in my life. As a single woman, I struggle with self sufficiency and like you said knowing how to do things my self, I am finding that allowing my dad to do some things for me and others that God has placed in my life helps me. For you allowing your husband to lead in this area. Just want to add that having those strengths to know how to do multiple things that a man can do doesn't make you less of a lady. Knowing your identity in Christ and cooperating with the purpose of our gender has brought much freedom to me in this area. Praying the Lord would give you wisdom and heal the areas of your heart where you have been hurt in the past and that His grace and peace be multiplied to you.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 2:51 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 3:13 pm
im relating to a amost 3o yr.old mother-she spased out and hit a couple of cop cars with her children in the car-shes in a mental health unit where she'll be for 6 months to keep it out of criminal court or jail time.they have her sooo drugged up which makes her more depressed and seemingly irrational.however there are soo many unresolved areas of her heart that need healed and the hospital just wants her to keep looking into herself to name her narsis then they give her another drug-shes becoming a zombie and im not sure im getting through to her.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm
Thank you for your response and it is my prayer that God's forgiveness reaches the boundaries of all the hearts in your family.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 4:20 pm
Thank you for your question. There where two things that I believe fueled my shame. One being unworthiness and the other guilt. Once I understood that I was truly forgiven and that God intended for me to forgive others even the guy who violated me then the guilt cleared up. Learning my worth in Christ was also another tool. The shame was just a surface problem the greater root was forgiveness. So yes the shame goes away, I am not ashamed of what happened to me anymore, how can I be when God is using it for the greater Glory. Blessings to you.
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 4:36 pm
on Monday, February 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:05 am
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 10:14 am
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 10:25 am
Thank you for sharing your story. I have really been touched. In reading it, I realize how much shame I carry for many wrong choices in my life. I always appear to be the "good girl," but I have done and said many things I am not proud of. Your life had to do a 180 degree turn when you were in prison. I find it hard to as someone that has always "on the outside" done the "right" things, but I know my heart hasn't always been where it should have been. I know we are all sinners saved by grace. I just want to get to a place where the mask is removed. I don't want to be torn inside that everyone looks to me to have it all together, but I have my own struggles just like others. Many people in my family thnk that. I have tried to explain to my one sister that I have struggles just like everone else. It seems like a lot of responsibilty is placed on my shoulders in my family, and sometimes I feel it is more than I can handle, and often become very resentful. I think I needed to hear your message of God loving us unconditionally. I think even for those of us who have walked with the Lord for many many years, we still struggle with really and truly believing that He wants to be there for us in our daily lives. I guess sometimes I feel guilty thinking I should be so grateful to have grown up in church, and I have so many great things in my life. When I hear somebody's story such as yours, I do feel guilty like "what's my problem? I haven't been through all that." I guess as I think about it, we all need God's mercy and grace, no matter the circumstancess in our lives. Thanks again for sharing, God Bless You as you minister to other women.
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 1:06 pm
Thanks for sharing and yes I will pray for your daughter. As I read your comment I could not help but think of how blessed your daughter is to have you interceding and investing in her life. I pray that one day she will know what a gift that is. I know it may seem hopeless now but as I shared with Jean earlier years after my grandma passed her prayers for me were answered. In the planting and watering we never know when God is going to give the increase. My advise would be not to give up hope, you never know if the circumstances your daughter is in will be the very thing God uses to draw her to Himself and reveal to her the great need she has for Him. It is my prayer that God would strengthen you and that His Word would comfort the thoughts with in and that He would send people in your life to encourage you while you are waiting on Him to deliver your daughter. Because of His great mercy we have a living Hope. I will be joining you in earnest prayer for your daughter.
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words and for your willingness to invest in the life of others. I am sure that there where many in my life who felt similar to you not knowing if they where getting through but I will tell you that there where times when what they had said or done weighed heavy on my heart and I reflected on them often. Praying that during these next six months that the Lord would protect her and keep her by His power. Praying for wisdom for you that you would be able to take God's truths navigate them around any mind sets that she may have. Be encouraged, I am a life that was changed because of many like you who took the time and effort to invest in my life. May the Lord Bless you and multiply His grace and peace unto you.
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:19 pm
on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 9:05 pm
on Wednesday, February 6, 2013 at 8:53 am
on Wednesday, February 6, 2013 at 6:43 pm
on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 12:17 pm
on Friday, February 8, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Your story Has captured my heart. My 40 year old
niece was in bondage to drugs which led to involvement in a shoplifting ring. She served 9 months in prison & now cannot find a job in order
to support her children. Is there an organization
that helps women who want to make a life for themselves after prison? The family has gone over & above to
help her. Now we are trying to convince her that she must humble herself & not hide her past & trust God
to lead her to someone who will give her a chance.
She keeps running farther away from her past hoping nobody will find out.
If there is an organization that can help I really need to know about it.
Blessed be the God of many chances,
Sharon
on Saturday, March 2, 2013 at 10:40 pm
on Monday, March 4, 2013 at 12:24 pm