10 comments

Lina Abujamra

The Answer to Your Relationship Needs, Christian Single

Posted on 02.05.13 by Lina Abujamra | Twitter: @LinaMay

Shortly after I broke off my first engagement and was nursing a broken heart, I moved to a new city, took a new job, and had no friends.

I was Christian enough to find a good Bible teaching church, but lived forty minutes away from that church. It was a dark time in my life for a while. I felt alone and broken.

It didn’t take long for me to understand that God loves the brokenhearted. In the darkness of my apartment God met me in ways I didn’t see coming. In Hosea 2:14 God says this:

“I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.”

I was thrown into a wilderness but the Lord found me. I was in the valley of trouble, and I was given hope. Brokenness is the best place to be if you’re looking to thrive. I was broken, but was well on my way toward the life that thrives.

Now all I had to do was figure out how to fit into my local church. Sunday after Sunday I showed up to church, sat on the third row, and left without as much as talking to anyone. My faith was growing as I fed on God’s Word. My love for the Lord was burning, but I couldn’t understand His people. Not only did I not connect with the church at large, but I didn’t connect with the singles group either.

So I floundered for a few months. I questioned the Lord. I felt pretty sorry for myself. I thought of changing churches. I spent a lot of time scoping out churches on the web. I joined eHarmony for the first time.

And still I felt alone and isolated in a church designed for couples.

One day, as I sat in my room and prayed, a funny thought crossed my mind. What if instead of waiting for others to talk to me at church, I took the initiative and talked to them? What if instead of being ministered to and led, I took it upon myself to minister to others?

I certainly knew the Lord well enough to serve in His church, and I was slowly but surely learning to trust His unwavering character. What did I have to lose?

The next Sunday I did it. I actually talked to the person to my right. I participated in the Sunday School class. A few weeks later I shared my testimony in a Bible study. Next thing I knew, I was being asked to teach a tiny (five people) women’s Bible study.

Me? Teach a Bible Study? I was the least likely person qualified to do it. Yet God often reminds me that His plans are way different than mine, but they’re always for my best!

Excerpted from Lina's new book, Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended, coming May 1. 

Comments

  1. Helo Lina and the true woman team

    I just want to let you know how encouraging this blog has been and still is in my christian walk. i don't really remember how I ended up being subscribed to this blog, but it was around year 2008 when I was in Varsity (the wilderness on it's hey) :-) but it must have been from the first biblical book I ever read being 'God's true woman' bought for me by my husband.

    I've read few other books recommended here and have bought for my little sister too who is enjoying these truths cause they are setting her free and finding her identity in Christ alone. I'm currently reading 'Lies Women Believe...', thanks to a lady who recommended that here on this blog when I was downcast concerning my early months of marriage and being a house wife at my age in a completely new place to me. God is good

    It's my second time reading a post of this kind of encouragement on this issue and since the first time I've experienced how true indeed that we should look outward and not inward. even worse that I'm married, I can't leave church for another as I please and suites me. After getting married and moving to a new church with lots of people than my previous one, this kind 'nudge' to greet people at church and talk to people, help with serving tea etc helped me a lot. Praise be to God
    posted by His steadfast love endures forever
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:16 am
  2. Thank you for this post. Very encouraging!
    I often have these same feelings, thoughts and doubts within my own church. And I have my self pitty parties, but the Lord is ever good! It's time i step up and really do my part.

    Praise the Lord for His goodness!
    posted by Mandy
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 10:30 am
  3. ROH just finished a radio series on encouragement. Your story really testified to that. Thanks. In our personal times of discouragement, if we can reach out to encourage others, we will also become encouraged. Peace to you & Praise to God, in your new awareness and growth. You are a blessing to others.
    posted by Sue
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 2:51 pm
  4. Thank you for those words. You're right i've got to reach out to make friends. Can't hide.
    Donnagiftnew.wordpress.com
    posted by Donna
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 3:20 pm
  5. Thanks for the post. I have to learn to take the initiative to be friendly to others too and to minister...
    posted by Mel
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:30 pm
  6. Thanks for the post. I have to learn to take the initiative to be friendly to others too and to minister...
    posted by Mel
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:32 pm
  7. Thanks so much for writing this; it pretty much sums up how I've felt for the past few months. Really needed to hear this.
    posted by pgr
    on Tuesday, February 5, 2013 at 8:46 pm
  8. Thank you for this. I've been feeling the same way since I just moved back home after living two years away from my family. The church isn't the same and the people are so different that I'm having trouble connecting- especially since I'm a quiet person. At our YA group we were asked to write down something that we wanted to see happen in the group in the next few months. I wrote that I wanted to feel like I belonged and that they were my family. Then the next question gave me pause: What are you planning to do to help this goal come true? I proposed then and there to be more friendly and actually make an effort to be a part of the group. Here's praying that God will bless my efforts!
    nljourney.blogspot.com
    posted by Nikitah
    on Wednesday, February 6, 2013 at 6:31 am
  9. I'm sorry, but I got to the end of this blog post and thought- really? is that it? This is basic behavior 101, not the answer to the Christian singles relationship problem. I am friends with lots of single women, deeply involved in the life/ministry of our church, who have friends, and they still struggle with singleness. This post title is very misleading; this brief overview barely scratches the surface of struggles with singleness, and really is advice for anyone in a new place, including couples. I highly recommend a different title. I don't expect you to post this, but I did want a moderator or someone to read it.
    posted by Jessie
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 6:35 pm
  10. Hey Jessie
    Thanks for your comment. I appreciate the feedback and I agree. you can't really solve a problem in a 500 word post, but this is just an excerpt out of a 60,000 word book on singleness!

    i'd love to get your email and send you a copy for free when it comes out in may.

    the book is called Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended. It's on amazon - click here to see more.

    http://www.amazon.com/Thrive-The-Single-Life-Intended/dp/0802407145/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360626667&sr=8-1&keywords=lina+abujamra
    livingwithpower.org
    posted by lina
    on Monday, February 11, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Leave a Comment:

We love hearing from you, and will post your comment as long as it is appropriate, and is written in a tone that is encouraging, edifying, and loving to others. Even then, know that the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts.