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How to Control Your Tongue (Day 22 of the True Woman Make-Over)

Paula Hendricks

Paula Hendricks | 11.03.08
Twitter: @PaulaWrites678

6 comments

Many of you signed up for the 30-day True Woman Make-Over. If you haven’t yet, you still can! Sign up to receive these emails in your inbox for the next thirty days.

Or, just come back to this blog to talk with other women about what you're learning. (Just so you know, we're currently journeying with Nancy Leigh DeMoss through her teaching on Titus 2:1-5 titled “God's Beautiful Design for Women." We highly recommend the entire series!)

Highlights from Day 22: How to Control Your Tongue:

How can you become a woman who does not sin with her tongue?

• humble yourself
• put off all slander and evil speaking
• put on words of kindness, love, forgiveness, and grace
• bring your thought life under the control of the Spirit
• talk less
• think before you speak
• refuse to listen to, slander, or gossip about others

Listen to or read more from “How to Control Your Tongue.” 

 

Topics: 30-Day Makeover, Womanhood

Comments

  1. my anger towards my husband truly causes me to go beyond what needs to be said....... I just took a crazy little personality tests and it asked us to picture a canteen in the water ....... I did. It was rusted. Then the question asked would I refill it again with water. I replied no. Guess what ? It was suppose to represent my love relationship I'm in NOW..... my husband said that his canteen was green or yellow. He debated about filling it but decided to say yes, he would fill it.
    Guess what ? It was suppose to represent my love relationship I'm in NOW. OUCH.
    What's the bottom line to our life ? He's controlling. He's not abusive, but he simply refuses to let me be involved with our marriage....or should I say, his life. Only if he feels safe about it. He refuses counseling, or just spend one night a week for us to do our own personal marriage counseling using a well rounded our spiritual publication which has us open up the bible and also encourages us to to speak how we feel. I want out of the relationship.............. ( 21yrs. 3 teenagers )
    posted by Jo'hanna
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 8:26 am
  2. My anger towards my husband truly causes me to go beyond what needs to be said....... I just took a crazy little personality tests and it asked us to picture a canteen in the water ....... I did. It was rusted. Then the question asked would I refill it again with water. I replied no...... my husband said that his canteen was green or yellow. He debated about filling it but decided to say yes, he would fill it.
    Guess what ? It was suppose to represent my love relationship I'm in NOW. OUCH.
    What's the bottom line to our life ? He's controlling. He's not abusive, but he simply refuses to let me be involved with our marriage....or should I say, his life. Only if he feels safe about it. He refuses counseling, or just spend one night a week for us to do our own personal marriage counseling using a well rounded our spiritual publication which has us open up the bible and also encourages us to to speak how we feel. I want out of the relationship.............. ( 21yrs. 3 teenagers )
    posted by Jo'hanna
    on Friday, September 9, 2011 at 8:29 am
  3. Jo’hanna,

    I am so sorry to hear of the pain you are carrying in your heart! I want you to know that I have prayed for you. I understand that you are angry and hurting deeply. I encourage you to seek the Lord’s direction before you jump ship on your marriage and follow your emotions and do what you want to do. Although you want out of the marriage, divorce is not God’s plan for marriage. Marriage is for a lifetime. I encourage you to read through this article on God’s view of marriage, divorce and re-marriage (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/what-god-hath-joined-together-del-fehsenfeld/).

    Even though your husband will not go to counseling, I would encourage you to find some counseling for you. While it is best that both partners come together, getting you to receive some Biblically Based counsel would be good, too. If you don’t know of a Biblical Counselor in your area, you can go to this website to find one (http://www.nanc.org/Directory.aspx).

    Please commit to pray for your husband daily, Jo’hanna. You may already be praying, but this guide (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/) will help give you some structure and base your prayers on scripture. I would also ask you to pray about taking our 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge (http://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/30-day-husband-encouragement-challenge/). It doesn’t come with a guarantee of fixing your marriage, but it will certainly guide you in the way God desires us to respect and love our husbands (Eph. 5:33). It will be a tough challenge, but many women have told us how God has used it in a mighty way in their marriages.

    You cannot change your husband, Jo’hanna. Only God can do that. But you can make a decision to live as a godly wife in spite of how he treats you or responds to you. There will come a day when we all stand before the Lord to give an account of our life on earth (Rom. 14:12). He will not ask us about our husband’s behavior. But He will ask us about our life, our thoughts, our actions and our attitudes.

    We serve a God of miracles, Jo”hanna! He is able to do what seems impossible to us (Matt.19:26). He is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think (Eph. 3:20). His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:21-15). Don’t give up hope, friend. Our Hope is in the Lord God – the maker of heaven and earth! If he can create and sustain the universe, He can work a miracle in your marriage!

    Praying for you!
    Lorree
    posted by Lorree, with the TW Team
    on Wednesday, September 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm
  4. I'm not sure if this is a controlling-your-tongue topic, but I've been saying things without thinking and before it's too late, I end up saying things that hurt others. I can be very overly competitive too, and self-righteous. My heart gets heavy when the other person would state something based on what I said. I always end up in a situation where I wish I never said anything in the first place and I regret expressing myself. What does it mean to humble yourself? I really want to work on my competitive personality because my fiance says that I'm questionable to him.
    posted by Amy Phu
    on Wednesday, May 23, 2012 at 1:12 am
  5. @Amy…

    You are so wise to take this into consideration! As you learn to control your tongue and discipline this area of your life, you will find it easier to discipline every area of life. “For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.” James 3:2

    Take some time to put a foundation of truth in your life concerning this issue. Nancy DeMoss has a small book study on the tongue entitled “The Power of Words”. http://www.reviveourhearts.com/store/product/the-power-of-words-booklet/. For a more in depth study, though not a difficult study in any way, is Mary Kassian’s “Conversation Peace: Improve Your Relationships One Word at a Time”. http://www.reviveourhearts.com/store/product/conversation-peace-improve-your-relationships-one-word-at-a-time/ God tells us to hide His Word in our hearts so that we will not sin against Him. Be willing to take the time to put Scripture in your heart and mind so that the Truth will ring in your head and heart as you use your words.

    Many of our difficulties in life come from self-righteousness. This is a process, but certainly the first step is realizing the pride that is in our own hearts and beginning to ask God to show us the places where pride brings brokenness. Nancy has written a book entitled "Brokenness" that will be very helpful in starting this process. It will bring blessing and bear fruit in your relationship with your fiancé for sure. Feel free to contact me at info@reviveourhearts.com to get a copy of this small book.

    God bless you, Amy. Your life and relationships will change and it will be all for the good, as you discipline your heart and mind in these areas.
    posted by Sarah, with the TW Team
    on Wednesday, May 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm
  6. Dear Paula, i just bumped on your blog while searching for ways to keep my mouth shut. I appreciate your article, 30 Day Makeover and the topics you have covered each day. May I request you to write a 30 day makeover article for men covering similar articles. In the mean time I'll keep reading your 30 day makeover article. Thank you.
    posted by ASHOK ARUNACHALAM
    on Sunday, March 24, 2013 at 10:01 am

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