Whether you work in an office or at home, how do you see selfish ambition playing itself out in your life? " />

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Paula Hendricks

Looking out for number one?

Posted on 04.23.09 by Paula Hendricks | Twitter: @PaulaWrites678
Topics: Womanhood

Betty Friedan* suggests that a woman can only be fulfilled if she has a life plan for herself that includes education, a career, and work that is of serious import to society. Each woman needs to take control of her own life and develop a vision for her future.

I see this mindset pervading my life. When co-workers come to me with a question or a need, I am tempted—and often do—tell them it’s not my job, and they should ask so-and-so. Occasionally, I’ll let my boss know that a particular task is not my forte, and he will kindly remind me that not every single aspect of my job will fulfill me. 

Yes, I know Betty Friedan’s way well. Yet, I see a very different way in Scripture.

Jesus both taught and demonstrated that “If anyone wants to be first, he must be last, and the servant of all” (Mark 9:35).

Pastor Tim Keller** defines Christian humility not as thinking less of yourself, but of thinking of yourself less. It is self-forgetfulness.

I imagine Betty Friedan would respond that if we don’t look out for ourselves, who will?

But, my experience has shown C.S. Lewis*** to be right when he says, “Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.”

Whether you work in an office or at home, how do you see selfish ambition playing itself out in your life? How can you practically choose the way of the Cross today? 

(If you’re interested in this topic, check out Philippians 2 as well as Nancy’s detailed list of the proud heart vs. the broken heart.)  

 ______________________________

*From Mary Kassian’s True Woman ’08 Message, “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!”
**From the chapter “Humility and Self-Image” in Gospel Christianty Course 3 by Tim Keller
***From the chapter “The Great Sin” in Mere Christianity

Comments

  1. I like Tim Keller's definition of humility: not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

    Being a parent, and especially a mother, is such good training ground to think of yourself less. Babies and young children have needs that are so immediate To ignore them is really neglect! Loving parents just instinctively put their children's needs ahead of their own. We feed them at night, when we desperately need sleep. We change nasty diapers, when its the last thing we want to do. We bounce them and rock them, and hold them when they are ill. This is all a form of service, in thinking more of them than we do of ourselves.

    My children are grown now, and I miss those years with young children. (But I also remember the sacrifices of that time.) I wish young moms could embrace the way God uses that season of life to break some of our natural selfishness, and make us more willing to serve.
    posted by Bonnie Anderson
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 11:16 am
  2. Not to respond when I am reviled--that's how I need to play out the Cross in my life today. I learned much about this from the biography of Watchman Nee, who followed the example of Christ before Pilate. True humility is not defending my reputation and always having to be right--but allowing injustice to do a work in my heart. I have really needed this lesson this week.
    posted by Tracy
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 11:19 am
  3. This is such great stuff! For me, it's going to the Father
    and taking all of the "poor me" stuff and confessing it to him.
    In talking to him as a little child, I find this comfort but I
    know that I have to continually confess my fear everyday.
    Thinking of number one is fear and the opposite of trust.
    It is saying to our Father, "I don't trust you, I'll take it
    into my own hands." Now, we have really removed ourselves from His covering. We must humbly go to Him
    and admit our fear and our ego and not rush to the next
    thing that we think will fill us. Only He can fill us. Anything
    other than Him filling us is false. Father, please help me trust and only look to You to fill me. You are the Only One!
    There is no one else. Any false idea I have that I need anything other than you, is a lie. Help me remember Father that looking out for number one is an error and a lie and that only you can save me. Thank you Abba Father.
    posted by Michele
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 12:19 pm
  4. It is so easy to put "me" first, especially when you work outside of the home. I find myself fighting the clock and screaming, when do I have any time for me?! Boy, the world really sold that lie to me. Thankfully, God is gently changing my viewpoint. I used to think in terms of hours, minutes and seconds and always focused on squeezing in those few minutes for just me. But He is showing me there is more to it than this. My real job is to serve God, and to do so by being a good wife to my husband and a mother to my children. This is not confined to a certain time of day, it is all the time. I have greived regularly before God because I do work outside the home, and I do not feel that it is God's perfect plan, but when i got the job and we got into debt and I married my nonchristian husband, I really wasnt following that plan. God has gently shown me that even though it was not his plan, that he can use it for good, and I am in his will, even though I feel I put myself into a pickle. He is showing me it is not all about me and it is all for His glory. In learning to be content in the state that I am in, He is being glorified in me, living to glorify Him, instead of choosing me and serving Him my way. I long to serve God in a full time ministry position, but God is showing me that he has given me a very great position indeed, and I must show myself faithful in this.

    May we forget the lies of the world, and focus on the Promises of God!! ...even when it is tough.
    posted by sarah
    on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm
  5. Thank you for the challenge to live my life as a humble servant. Every time I am able to read the blog it ALWAYS speaks directly to my heart!
    I fail so many times and it seems like the harder I try to seek the Lord and live out my life, something arises and I mess up everything that I've been striving for in seeking the Lord.
    I remember a time in my life when I was actually able to live out humility and servant-hood on a regular basis. Now I have teenagers! :) I'm struggling with finding a balance in my life of seeking the Lord (which I desperately desire to do outside of church, but my desire not to seems to get the better part of me), spend time with my husband, children, work, and animals (and all of the other countless demands on my life and time).
    When we are truly humble we are not thinking of self, but of others in every way.
    Teach me once again oh, Lord! I want to look upon others in higher esteem than myself and truly serve!
    What a blessing to have all of you on this site for encouragement!
    posted by Paula (not Hendricks)
    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 1:47 am
  6. My comment is in regard to the article and I am only 23, 24 tomorrow, so I don't have a husband or any seriously demanding things right now.
    I have grown up in a family that believes the bible. We definitely are not perfect, who is. But as a teenager I always knew that I did not want to work at a desk, drive in hours of traffic every morning. I just want to be a homemaker and good wife. I tend to rebel against the culture. I don't want to be like them. I want to become a cookie cutter shape like everyone else. I am the oldest of eight kids and my younger siblings are having a hard time with this issue. (seven of us are girls).
    August 12, 2009 my family was in a car accident that gave my sister Autumn (6 at the time) a serious brain injury, Becky (age 18 at the time) t-12 Spinal Cord injury, and my mom broke both femurs, hip, and pelvis in four places. God has brought us through so much. My brother was the driver and they were on there way to church, Sunday morning. He had been driving for only 2 months. God has done the impossible with us. He brought people together to build onto the back of our house for what we needed. People have been amazed at the joy we still have, but truefully I can't explain it myself, it is all God's doing. I say all that to say that I have had to learn to help serve my family and have had to forget about me. I still have to learn these lessons day after day, and they are not always easy, but I know I don't want to cave into peer pressure and search for worldly success. I believe that where I am right now is where God wants me and is teaching me how to serve. I hope I don't sound like a know it all, I need prayers just anybody else. So if you could pray for me that would be great. Pray that God would give me wisdom and strength to do what He wants me to do.
    posted by Cindy Kunzweiler
    on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 10:20 pm
  7. Dear Cindy,
    I just want to say that I was very blessed by your testimony above. It is so encouraging to see a young person with such a heart for God. Our family has also been through hardships (similar family size) -- I'm the mom. It so blesses me that you, as the oldest daughter, are so supportive of your family and parents, and so positive in the face of challenges and hardships. May the Lord bless you, Cindy, and your family. I also prayed for the other situation you mentioned on this blog some days ago; I am very aware of the need for prayer in such a situation. May the Lord bless and guide you in your work situation and give you His wisdom at all times.
    Blessings to you through Jesus,
    posted by Leslie S.
    on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 6:08 pm
  8. Cindy, I'm the one in my family that always needs to be served because of my 10-year long extreme disability with pain. I want so much to be able to be the one serving others - I wonder if you could share how your 2 siblings deal with Their part in your family. I, too, have found joy at times, but right now, to be quite honest, I'm really having a terrible time trusting God's hand when all I can do is lie in bed and cry day and night with unending pain. I have a husband and 3 teenagers that desperately need me. I try to be cheerful, to smile, to give them as much of myself as I possibly can. I ask God for grace every day to cover my weakness. But I have trouble being content to just lie here day after day, month after month, and not see anything that God is doing through all this. I'd be interested to see your take on this. It is really refreshing to see a young person with a heart for selfless service for family - the very hardest of people to serve many times.
    posted by Melinda
    on Sunday, April 26, 2009 at 6:49 pm

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