Actually, I believe we see role distinctions and God's design for husbands to function as leaders, and wives to affirm that leadership role through intelligent, courageous, unselfish submission to God's authority–before the fall ever occurs!
Why? Here are a few thoughts:
- Man was created first (Genesis 2:7).
- God gave man the responsibility to care for the garden (Gen. 2:15).
- God gave man the authority to name the creatures (including the woman) (Gen. 2:19-23).
- God placed man in the position of provider and protector by giving him the responsibility to care for the garden and giving instruction for spiritual protection by warning him of the consequences of disobedience–before the woman was even created (Gen. 2:15-18).
- Woman was created by God to rule with her husband as a co-regent over creation (Gen.1:26-28).
- Woman was in relationship with God before He presented her to Adam (Gen. 2:22).
- Woman is given the privilege of ruling at her husband's side as his helper (Gen. 2:18).
- Woman came from man and was created for man (1 Corinthians 11:8)
- The curse for the woman states her “desire” will be to control or rule over the man, but God reiterates His plan for the man to function as the head in order that the marital relationship reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Gen. 3:16, 1 Cor. 11:3, Ephesians 5:22-33).
The funny, yet sad, observation I have in all this is: as women, we fight against the very thing that brings real freedom and joy. We are so prone to rebelling against this model we see in Scripture. We want to be in control, to take the lead, to do things our own way, and yet that course of action always ends in conflict, disappointment, and many times, isolation. It never results in the beautiful complementary union that God desires couples to enjoy. Operating this way also prevents an accurate reflection of His relationship with the church.
This might seem a bit heavy, but what do you think? Do you think God has a purpose in the model He's given for husbands and wives and His instruction on this extremely important topic? Share your thoughts concerning our role as “True Women” as we function with our husbands.
Leave a Comment:
We love hearing from you, and will post your comment as long as it is appropriate, and is written in a tone that is encouraging, edifying, and loving to others. Even then, know that the following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts.
Comments
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 8:12 am
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 8:30 am
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 10:18 am
I never thought about the fact that submission started in the garden before the fall but it makes perfect sense. God has always been a God of order. Sin is what makes chaos out of God's order. I can't wait for heaven where this sinful flesh will be gone!
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 11:03 am
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 11:08 am
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 11:08 am
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 11:09 am
Blessings
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I am not saying the conversation here is not according to God's Word, but our first relationship is to our heavenly Father and He will show us how to follow Him in submission to Him, His Word, and our husbands.
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Each of you contributed so much, thank you for sharing. Let me just briefly remind us of a couple things:
The main thing is the gospel. It is all about Him, not about me.
It's hard to live that out sometimes -- but it is true that it really doesn't matter in the whole scheme of things what I think, how I feel, what my preferences are -- what really matters is what God thinks.
This matter of role distinctions and gender differences has its origin and roots in the gospel. It is meant to portray something much bigger, grander, and even eternal: Christ and His relationship with His bride, the church.
Thankfully it is NOT up to me to live out submission or "fix" my marriage -- I can't do it. I can't live as a godly, submissive wife on my own. I daily must depend on the sanctifying work and power of the Holy Spirit.
The reason it may sound as though the comments here are placing all the responsibility for marriage improvement on the wife, is because the teaching here is directed to women. Men are not our audience (although I appreciated Patrick's comments and the fact that we have a few men who follow our site) and we've not been called by God to instruct men on this blog.
Men need instruction, rebuke, exhortation and education when it comes to these issues -- and we as women need to intercede in prayer, asking God to raise up biblical, Spirit-anointed pastors and teachers who will be training men to live out their servant-leadership role. We cannot "fix" our men, but we are responsible to submit ourselves to the authority of God and His Word and allow Him to work in and through us to accomplish His purposes.
"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." - Galatians 2:20
May we each live the crucified life -- not only in our marriages, but in every aspect of our lives!
I love hearing your hearts. Praise our Gracious Lord and Savior!
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 5:24 pm
on Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Actually, God never calls men to be the only leaders, in church or home. In Genesis, God meant that woman would prefer man over all else-including God. And you have proven this with your choice to make man the highest thing under God. You have also proven it with your faulty interpretation of Genesis: God was NOT telling woman she'd want to control man, but that man would control her and that she'd desire it. And here we are: men are still being hoisted up, while women are given lectures, lessons, "help" books, "Titus 2" sessions, and anything else people in your camp can think of to make them comfortable with their eternal subordination. Nothing is done to remind men of THEIR submission; only women, and if we refuse, we are "rebellious" and "feminists".
"This matter of role distinctions and gender differences has its origin and roots in the gospel."
Incorrect. God never obsessed with "roles" and that word is rarely used Biblically. This obsession with hierarchy is pure flesh, not a hint of spirit within it.
on Saturday, May 30, 2009 at 11:09 pm
If you are new to our site, I want to explain that the articles on this site are directed to women. Our mission and purpose does not include teaching men.
As I mentioned in the comment above,
"men need instruction, rebuke, exhortation and education when it comes to these issues -- and we as women need to intercede in prayer, asking God to raise up biblical, Spirit-anointed pastors and teachers who will be training men to live out their servant-leadership role.
You may have misunderstood some of my statements. Recognizing God's instruction to men to function in the role of "headship" does not prevent women from having leadership roles within the church or home.
In reference to my "faulty interpretation" of Genesis 3:16, I admit there is disagreement among biblical scholars over the correct interpretation of this rarely used Hebrew word. In my study of the original language and also biblical commentaries, I've never seen the interpretation you are presenting, that women would "prefer man over all else."
The Hebrew word that is translated into our English word “desire” (Genesis 3:16) is an interesting noun. Many scholars view this term as referring to the woman’s desire and urge to “rule over,” or dominate, her husband, when in fact the husband has been given the position of authority over her.
According to John MacArthur,
“This interpretation of the curse is based upon the identical Hebrew words and grammar being used in Genesis 4:7 to show the conflict man will have with sin as it seeks to rule him.
Because of sin and the curse, the man and the woman will face struggles in their own relationship. Sin has turned the harmonious system of God-ordained roles into distasteful struggles of self-will. Life-long companions, husbands and wives, will need God’s help in getting along as a result. The woman’s desire will be to lord it over her husband, but the husband will rule by divine design.”
If my post has implied that God has "obsessed" over anything, then I've done a grave disservice in presenting an accurate representation of my Lord.
What I hoped to convey by stating: "This matter of role distinctions and gender differences has its origin and roots in the gospel" is the fact that God is using the beautiful picture of marital union to display the reality of the relationship between Christ and the church. It is the "great mystery" as Paul calls it in Ephesians 5:32.
One cannot ignore the clear role distinctions and authority structure that is outlined in this passage (Ephesians 5:22-33). The correlation between Christ's authority as head over the church with that of the husband's position is undeniable.
But please do not misunderstand what I am saying: the husband is NOT our ultimate authority -- Christ and His living Word are to have our supreme and ultimate allegiance. That is why I approach this subject in such a serious manner, because I believe it ultimately points to the authority of Christ over the church and because I believe it is our responsibility to honor Scripture's instructions on role distinctions.
Thank you for your comment. It has caused me to thoughtfully evaluate whether I am presenting this topic in a manner that would cause women to view God incorrectly.
My prayer is that women will see God's design and purpose in His presentation of gender roles and His hierarchical structure for the home as a way of displaying His glory.
If you've not read the other posts on this topic this month, I encourage you to peruse our Archives and read some of our other writers' articles. They do a far superior job of presenting this beautiful truth.
on Monday, June 1, 2009 at 12:08 am
"The correlation between Christ's authority as head over the church with that of the husband's position is undeniable."
Yes-in His sacrifice, love, and submission, NOT His authority. People always compare the husband's authority to Christ's, a dangerous precedent. Christ is perfect and in charge of all; His church is wayward and often corrupt, so to compare these two beings to husband and wife automatically sets not only the husband up for prideful power, but the wife up for the position of the one who must always come in second and automatically loses if her opinion is contrary to that of her husband's, since she must "submit" to him.
As for Genesis, if you are unfamiliar with my interpretation, you may wish to check out the work of Joanne Krupp and the DVD set "Women: Silenced or Set Free?" Every problematical Biblical passage is dealt with thoroughly in that DVD. As for church roles, I recommend the books "Who is your covering?" and "Rethinking the Wineskin." Christians caught up in hierarchy have given both male and female pastors positions of an authority they have no right to; these books reveal what Christ truly wanted His church to be like.
As a last note, regarding this comment of mine, "men are still being hoisted up, while women are given lectures, lessons, "help" books, "Titus 2" sessions, and anything else people in your camp can think of to make them comfortable with their eternal subordination",
I was actually referring to complimentarians in general, not this site. I'm afraid I used the term "you" often when I was referring to general comps, so please don't take all my comments personally.
You have presented your side well, Kimberly, better than many others, and I appreciate it. Thanks for the welcome.
on Monday, June 1, 2009 at 12:58 am
I read all of this with interest. I believe that we are to submit to God's will first and then all the rest will follow "naturally"
Our culture teaches us (both men and women) otherwise and it is very tough to remember what we should be doing.
But "eternal subordination" - I think that God ga e us the choice - whom we choose to marry, if we wish to marry, if we wish to be subordinate, etc.
It's up to us to make the choice that corresponds best to us.
I pray that God will give us all wisdom on this.
on Friday, February 5, 2010 at 1:30 pm
About 95% of the time if my husband and I are having any sort of issues for long periods of time, it is because I have gone off course and tried to taken control. God never asks us to fix our mate, and yet so often we try.
As soon as I surrender my will, thing "magically" seem to go back to good.
It's a continual life lesson for me, but I am greatful God is always faithful to me and to forgive me more importantly.
on Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 8:46 pm
This article presents the attitude that women who live in mutual submission with their husbands are in rebellion and want to lead. That is creating a straw man and most often is not the case.
on Sunday, January 2, 2011 at 11:27 am