23 comments

Holly Elliff

Help! Mommydom leaves me no time for God

Posted on 10.14.09 by Holly Elliff
Topics: Parenting, The Word of God

The following post is actually a letter Holly Elliff wrote to a frustrated mom who can’t seem to find time to spend with God. Can you relate?

Dear Mom,

Let me give you a little peek into my life. I have eight children and two in heaven I never got to meet. My kids are currently 32, 30, 27, 23, 21, 18, 15 and 13. I also take care of my mom who has Alzheimers and have four grandchildren age 2 and under! Although I'm not exactly in your shoes right at this moment, I do know what it feels like and I so understand what "tired" means.

busy momWhen my first four or five kids were all young, I had to focus so much on survival (for me and everyone else), that there were very few holes in my day to focus on time with the Lord. I wish I could tell you that I handled that like a spiritual giant and breezed through without struggle, but then I would just have to confess it the next time Nancy teaches on honesty!

I wish we could sit down together someplace peaceful and visit for a while. Since that's probably not going to happen, I would love to share a few insights that come as a result of years of living where you live and from the perspective of being a little further down the road.

God declares in His Word that your kids are a blessing and a gift. They are not an interruption, a mistake, or a hindrance to God's will in your life; they are God's will for your life.

Since these kids, at the ages they are at this moment, are God's will for your life, does He intend to speak to you in the next decade or so when you don't have free time? Of course He does. So how is that going to happen when you have so little time you can control?

Here are some practical tips on creating space to hear from the Lord:

1. First, think through the last 48 hrs. Any time-stealers come to mind? Facebook, Twitter, TV, email, Internet, phone calls, or texts? Make sure the enemy isn't robbing you of God-moments by offering a "harmless" substitute.

2. Time with the Lord takes intentional planning when you have a full, noisy, busy house. Some days, gather your kids around and read a passage to them. If you can make it interesting to listen to, you might get through several verses. Write a few verses out and leave them in the kitchen, laundry room, or car so you can contemplate as you cook, fold, or wait for your kids.

3. Place Bibles in several spots around your house so anytime you do get to sit down you can snatch a verse or two to ponder.

4. Use the first few minutes of nap time to get rest for your spirit. You probably won't be reading chapters or books at one sitting, but the Lord can use even snippets to instruct and encourage your heart. If you have kids who no longer nap, make a quiet zone where they can read or color while the little ones sleep and you get refreshed. Occasionally, this will actually work!!

5. Escape for a few minutes if you can after your husband gets home or right after dinner. I have had quiet times on picnic tables at the park, in my car at Sonic, on my driveway sitting in my car, and in my laundry room or closet.

6. Practice God's presence "in the midst" of your crazy days. He doesn't leave because your life is hectic. He can minister grace to your heart as you comfort that child or chop veggies for dinner or sort dirty socks. Christ knew what it was like to wash dirty feet. He is not absent when we are surrounded by lots of them! Remember that the Lord had many moments when He sought to draw apart to seek the Father. Sometimes that happened, sometimes He was moved with compassion and returned to the multitudes. His heart was to do the will of His Father every moment of every day, but He didn't live apart, He lived in the midst.

7. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and discernment as you discover what will work for your family. Since it is God's will for you to know Him, ask Him to enable you to creatively pursue that in this season of your life. God's Word is eternal. The lives of those who come to know Him are eternal. Houses, stuff, and even time will all pass away. We won't regret time invested in His Word and in raising our kids to love Christ.

Proverbs 2:1–10 says:

My (daughter), if you will receive my words
         And treasure my commandments within you,
Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
         Incline your heart to understanding;
For if you cry for discernment,
         Lift your voice for understanding;
If you seek her as silver
         And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will discern the fear of the LORD
         And discover the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom;
         From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
         He is a shield to those who walk in integrity.

    
I hope this helps,

Holly

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*The following comments do not necessarily reflect the views of Revive Our Hearts. We reserve the right to remove comments which might be unhelpful, unsuitable, or inappropriate.

  1. That was incredibly helpful, thank you so much! God bless you.
    posted by Holly
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 7:14 am
  2. Thank you so much. This one really spoke to my heart. I am guilty of spending little snippets of time (too many) on facebook or other web surfing when I could be using that time, several times a day to spend with the Lord. All about priorities. Even though I have 3 young children, I am sure if I really tried I could find enough time to spend with the Lord....its having the discipline to match my desire to do so.
    posted by Nina
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 7:23 am
  3. Thank you so much for this letter. I have been struggling in this area. I pray throughout the day, but am missing His Words. I have 4 kids and 1 on the way and I homeschool. I am busy. But I know that checking email and blogs probably take up an hour a day. I also read at night. That is the time I should spending in the Bible. We also have to remember that Satan loves it when we don't get into the Word everyday. It is a victory for him. Thank you so much for your encouragement.
    posted by Belinda
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 7:37 am
  4. Thank you!!! I have 5 kids, ages 10 - 6weeks old. Very busy, very tired. These tips are great!
    posted by Cindy
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 8:52 am
  5. Thank you so much for the encouragement. When I saw this topic in my inbox, I thought "my, the Lord really loves me." I have 3 kids, ages 6 1/2, 5, and 2 1/2 and this has been an issue for me. I'm guilty of the surfing that takes away valuable time. Thanks again for the great encouragement. May I yield to the Lord's heeding.
    posted by Shenita
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 9:02 am
  6. Thank you so much for the article, which is so much needed, and your suggestions are really good.

    One thing I would add is to: Pray...asking God to give you a HEART that seeks after Him and that puts Him first in all of your life. Once we have the heart that desires Him, making the time becomes way much easier - and way more meaningful. Do I have the heart for God that I want to see my children have when they are growing and then grown?

    One of my friends recently said concerning making/taking time for the Lord in the midst of an incredibly filled schedule, "The God of creation can help me be creative in my time management, for sure." The question is: am I asking Him to do that?

    Jer.24:7, which reads-"Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart."
    posted by Ellen
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 10:10 am
  7. Thought this was great advice for us busy mom's and really anyone!
    posted by Elizabeth Sclater
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 10:20 am
  8. What Holly says about intentional time in God's Word is so important. It is so easy to "fritter" away time and not realize it. We are so often told in preaching to put God first in the day. How I remember feeling very alone in the midst of children while my husband left for his private office where he could have a quiet time. But, like Holly, I learned to snatch time here and there and eventually as the children grew older, they took on more responsibility that gave me more freedom to spend time with God. It also taught them to take time for God and they started in personal devotions early in life. Sometimes family devotions were a big blessing to me! I was so hungry to hear from God that the family time was something I looked very much forward to. Most importantly, we can't let Satan defeat us. If our children see us "out of sorts" then how do they know that God's presence gives us peace and wisdom? Sometimes we need to remember to stop and take a few deep breaths, call out to God for wisdom, and rest in His grace. I really think those memory verses we learned at a young age come to us when we are desperate and call out, "Lord remind me of something in your Word." He always comes through. Although my children are grown, I find my days remain busy and I still have to intentionally make time for quiet devotions. It will always be a struggle to overcome interruptions. Take courage, the Lord is in the little moments as well as in the long hours. When we truly delight in Him, He wonderfully gives us the desires of our hearts. Psalm 37:4
    posted by Karyl
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 10:23 am
  9. O.K. I give up - I'm not a "true woman" by your standards.

    I've read through several articles here and think you should change the name of your organization and site to "True MOTHERhood"

    What about women who can't have children or adopt them?

    Aren't we "true" women?

    God designed me the way I am. He has a plan for me.

    Your plan is too small to be His.
    posted by Pat
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 10:59 am
  10. Dear Pat,
    The subject currently is on motherhood and I think it will be all month. You just happened to start when the subject is motherhood. Children are an intregal part of life, however. There are lots of chldren longing to a loving touch. Teach a Sunday School Class or after school club, help in the church nursery, volunteer at a boys and girls club, and on and on. God gives us all children in one way or another and all these mothering tips help. A while back the subject was on husand and wife and I no longer have a husband. I read the blogs once in a while anyhow and even joined in a time or two. I suggest you try Revive Our Hearts for Bible study truths. We all need to be True to God throughout our days regardless of life's circumstances. So, that makes us true women.
    posted by Karyl
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:15 am
  11. Whoa, Pat, you must be new. This organization is headed by a single woman with no children. Of course, you ARE a true woman if you are following after God according to His plans and directions. Every woman can be a "true" woman, that is, a woman as God designed her to be. He has a plan for each ones life as you said, but His guidelines for every life are the same, and found in the Bible. On the other hand, the reality is that the majority of the women in the world are mothers. But there are also millions without a proper mother who would love to be loved and nurtured by you. May God guide you to them.
    posted by Barbara Barrick
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:40 am
  12. Thanks for a very helpful post. It's encouraging (and challenging... and convicting...) to me right now, and I want to put it on file to assist me in encouraging others later!
    posted by Suzanne
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 12:31 pm
  13. Pat,
    I want to encourage you to stay tuned. Later this month, I'll have a post on infertility and one on adoption.

    True Women come in all shapes and sizes. Some are mothers; some are not. I hope you'll stick with us.

    In Christ,
    Mindy
    posted by Mindy Kroesche
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 12:45 pm
  14. A true woman is also the spiritual mom of others she leads to Christ. ~God's highest calling.
    posted by Leslie Dawn Neagle
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 7:38 pm
  15. Thank you so much for this, being a mom can definately be hectic, but I would not trade it for the world! Thank you for you suggestions!
    www.gsgammo.blogspot.com
    posted by Gabriela Gammo
    on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 10:29 pm
  16. Holly,

    I love this article! Thanks for being a True Woman who loves to fulfill the Titus 2 model!

    Thanks Friend!
    Love You Much :-)
    posted by Kimberly Wagner
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 12:08 am
  17. Hi girls, thanks for all your input. I love the way you are encouraging each other.

    All of us will have 168 hours this week. How we govern and use that time makes a huge difference in who we are as women who bear the name of Christ.

    Maybe we should ponder where our 168 hours went this week and see if we need to make some adjustments. (I've been reminded of some missed opportunities in my life this week even as I've been typing this!)

    I imagine the Lord is just waiting for us to discover that He IS available and those moments to meet Him ARE there ..... if we are intentional about seeking them out! God Bless, Holly
    posted by Holly Elliff
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 1:22 am
  18. Pat, God has all kinds of True Women.

    Regardless of our current season of life, it's critical for us to understand what God's word teaches in every aspect of potential assignments we might have as women.

    Although this isn't your assignment right now, I pray that the truths you are reading will allow you to encourage someone else and that those principles will become part of the truth matrix that God desires to shape in each of us.

    I pray that the Lord will amaze you in the months ahead with what He desires for you and that you will have great joy in pursuing His perfect will.

    God bless, Holly
    posted by Holly Elliff
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 2:13 am
  19. Dearest Holly!
    Thank you for this post. Yes, it does help. Thank you for your helpful reminders and tips. It can be quite a struggle sometimes to find that quiet time with the Lord when we are busy wives and mothers (probably for some singles, too). I'm still working on gettting the balance in it all, but take comfort in the fact that the Lord is still working on me to help in this area! He is good! (Ps. 42)
    P.S. I just recently pulled an older book off my shelf (more specifically for wives and mothers) -- "More Hours in my Day", by Emilie Barnes -- I think it is a good one for someone like me, who would have more time for the Lord if I could get my overall household and schedule better organized.
    In His love,
    posted by Leslie S.
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 11:15 am
  20. This was awesome advice. Thank you! :)
    http://christinnjon.wordpress.com/
    posted by Christin
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 12:28 pm
  21. Freneticism
    Sucking the life out of life
    Deceleration
    http://ChristianHaiku.com
    Psalm 46:10 (NIV), Psalm 46:10 (MSG)...
    http://www.ChristianHaiku.com
    posted by Christian Haiku
    on Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 12:56 pm
  22. Thank you Lord. I truly needed this.
    posted by Kim
    on Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm
  23. what a blessing! I have been struggling with this myself over the last few weeks...God Bless you all as we strive to be the women He wants us to be.
    posted by Marilyn
    on Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 1:32 pm

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