Where are all the little old, godly women?

Kimberly Wagner

Kimberly Wagner | 11.04.09
Twitter: @KimberlyWagner7


older and younger women togetherAs a young woman preparing for marriage, I kept wondering, Where are all the little old, godly women who can help me get ready for this? Who could give me some pointers for my role as a new bride? I wanted to sign up for some kind of "wife and mom apprenticeship." But as I looked around, many of the couples' marriages were struggling or had already ended in divorce, and the elderly women felt they had nothing to offer. That is when I really began to have a burden for training younger women.

Hopefully many of you were blessed by a woman who poured biblical truth into your life and encouraged you in how to live that out practically. But if you've never had that experience, it could be because we are currently experiencing an epidemic of loss. To a large degree, we've lost the biblical model of women discipling or teaching younger women.

Calling all women!
That is why I'm so excited about this month's topic. We're going to focus on living out the Titus 2 mandate. No matter your season of life, whether married or single, childless or with a houseful, this topic affects you!

Tucked away in the little book of Titus, we find the "biblical womanhood curriculum" simply outlined as follows:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled (Titus 2:3–5).

Only three verses, but they are packed full with opportunity!

What are we to be teaching?
Let's focus on one phrase in this passage, "teach what is good." This phrase is translated from one Greek word—kalodidaskalous. Literally it means to be teaching what is beautiful, good, commendable, excellent, honorable, sound, right, and honest.

If you spend time studying the book of Titus, you'll notice a critically important phrase throughout: sound doctrine. This is referring to healthy teaching—to truth that produces spiritual well-being. It is biblical truth that affects your worldview, your thoughts, your attitudes, your actions, and ultimately your entire lifestyle. So, most importantly, what we are teaching must be built upon "sound doctrine."

The Biblical Womanhood Curriculum
The "biblical womanhood curriculum," according to verses four and five, covers these topics:

  1. Loving your husband
  2. Loving your children
  3. Being self-controlled (which would also cover "holy behavior" as mentioned in verse 3)
  4. Moral purity
  5. Being a "home-worker"
  6. Being of good character; having a kind, pleasant disposition
  7. Being submissive or respectful of your husband's headship
  8. Honoring the Word of God by living it out
This month's topic really goes to the heart of the True Woman Movement—women training and encouraging others to fulfill their purpose and calling as women. So, why don't you consider how you can apply this month's teaching to your life?

What can I do?
You may not yet consider yourself to be in the "older woman" category, but every woman is a little further along than another. Perhaps invite a younger woman to go online to read this month's posts, then plan a time to get together to share and discuss what you're reading. If you're a younger woman, pray about approaching an older woman with the same type of invitation.

Ready to get started? Wanna sign up? I'm challenging you to look around and find another woman to join you on this month's adventure! 

Topics: Relationships with Others


  1. I do know plenty of younger moms who like to spend time with me, but it will help if I make it a more structured study or discussion time. I have a mom's group that always met at a park and moms talked while the kids played. I definitely learned more about motherhood and womanhood by talking with these ladies than I ever did in a class. As people talk about what they do - you see the results!! In a class, you just have to decide whether the teaching makes sense to you or not, but you don't see the teacher or author interacting with her kids or with her husband.

    I do know many godly older women in my church - but our classes are divided by ages! WHY??? These older people have so much to offer, but they are not in the classes. And when I think of all of the whining that young mothers do - it would be very helpful to have older women there to just be a presence and a reminder of how we need to appreciate what we have and where we are in life. Let them hear of all the health problems and deaths of spouses and whatever. I also think we could make those same changes with younger people. I would love some kind of system where a teen and a ten year old and five year old were in the same class and the older kids knew their job was to help and encourage and enjoy the younger kids.
    posted by Annie
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 7:59 am
  2. I am only 17 but the Lord has graciously showed me the position I have to lead and love younger girls. About a year ago, God placed me in a co-leader position for a discipleship group for girls ages 9-12. The Lord has also recently placed on my heart the desire to invest in the lives of the girls in my church's jr high group as well. This is such an exciting thing for me to do and I marvel at God's grand plan for His glory and what He is accomplishing in these girls lives!

    Since I was little I've had older women in my life who have encouraged and directed me in Truth. I do believe that this is a big thing that God has used to develop the ministry mindset in me that has prepared me to now lead and guide younger girls.

    God be praised and may His glory be the aim of our relationship building and ALL we do! Amen and Amen.
    posted by Sara
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:29 am
  3. and Sara, you are such a godly young woman....I am even learning from you!!!
    posted by Lisa
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 10:31 am
  4. This week a godly woman in our church passed away after a brief illness. She had assisted my daughter with her wedding.
    She was a part of my Bible study group. She participated in serving meals at our church and invited people to her home.
    She coordinated meals that were brought to families struggling with illness. She and her husband were a team that quietly served in our church.
    On Tuesday we paused in our Bible study to remember Jean.
    As we talked about the many ways that Jean touched our lives a few newcomers to the group had tears in their eyes. They thanked us for sharing our memories of a godly woman. Jean set an example before us.
    It is good for women for women of different generations to meet together. Our church has started a discipleship program. Three or four women are in a committed group.
    We meet twice a month to share our lives and pray together.
    We have a book that we are following, Discipleship Essentials. Our goal is to be together in transparent relationship, encouraging each other to grow in the Lord.
    Leader (facilitator) and members all benefit.
    Thank-you for focusing on this topic, Kim.
    posted by Carol Van Der Woude
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 11:22 am
  5. Older woman need to be worthy of modeling. I have to think to my self does my dress, attitude, and inward beauty reflect Christ? Would a younger woman become more like Christ if she were to follow the pattern of my life or would she look more like the world, and follow after worldly traditions. I am thankful that my family attends a church that is 80% elderly. Many people are looking for childrens ministry, entertainment and such things instead of looking for godly people who love the Lord and are worthy of following. We once attended a church that continuely asked the elderly to conform to a "new way of worship" and they need to change their ways to fit the young peoples way of worship. I appreciated the elderly that stood up for the right and refused to change. We need more people sticking to the "old paths". Young people need to have a teachable spirit and need to be willing to change their ways of thinking, NOT the younger changing the older.

    A 21 year old girl once told me that "old people" get on her nerves and she just didn't have the time for them. How very, very, very, sad!!! If it wasn't for the older generation we would not have the freedoms we have today. We need to be very thankful for all the godly people that have gone on before us and paved the way so we can teach our children what they have taught us. I thank every older person out their for all you have done for me and my family. I may not know your name and I may never meet you on this side of Heaven but and am so thankful for all you have done to preserve our freedom to worship God. The older are not perfect and we can learn from their mistakes and well as all the good they have shown to us over the years.

    When people say there just isn't any older people out there teaching they are wrong. We can learn for the older generations failures as well as from thier successes. The question is are we willing to learn, not judge, love, not hate, listen, not talk or do we just want to pick and choose what we want to hear, learn or see. Learn something from an older person today.
    posted by debby
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 11:25 am
  6. This is one area that God has been preparing me for a lot recently. I am 43 and have 3 teenagers so I think that since my "season" of life is changing God has put a desire in my heart to help others (younger moms and wives) and become a strong leader. I know I still have much to learn about teaching others but since God desires that for me and all older christian women, I am encouraged to move forward. Thank you for this topic and may we all keep pressing towards the goal!
    posted by Barbara
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 12:11 pm
  7. I wish I had an older woman to mentor me! This has been my hearts desire for some time. I am by no means very young (31), but I could definitely learn from a wiser woman, especially child-rearing!
    posted by alexis
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm
  8. Alexis,

    The Holy Spirit is the greatest mentor . The Holy Spirit helps me each day with decisions I have to make concerning my children. The Holy Spirit will never lead you astray. Proverbs 22:6. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." I am convinced that the only way this type of training is accomplished is through the help of the Holy Spirit. I am not one for self-help books but one book I have read that is filled with scripture to back up his beliefs is "Do You Mind If Your Kids Don't Mind." It is written by Bill Rice III. He has three great adult children who love the Lord and are serving the Lord in ministry as well as raising their children for the Lord.
    posted by Debby
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 1:58 pm
  9. I am at a stage in life where I feel kind of stuck in the middle. HA!!! I am old enough to mentor younger moms but I am still at a place where I desperately need older women to mentor me. Thankfully there are many women in our church whom I can turn to when I have questions and such.

    I did want to mention that one area often overlooked is mentoring our own daughters. I still mourn the lose of a mom that didn't mentor me in the ways of Titus 2. She simply doesn't understand me at this point and it's often a bone of contention for her. She claims to know Christ and yet is very against my desires to live out the mandates in scripture given for woman. That has driven tme o make sure that even at a young age I am constantly teaching through example, words, and interaction with my daughters how to be Titus 2 godly women. My daughters are only 10, 7, and my baby girl will be 1 next week. My 10 yod is now starting to ask questions about when she's older. What will she do with her time before she marries was the question she asked me the other day? She's already beginning to think about it. Not only that, but I am on bedrest right now. This week she's washed and fold all the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the downstairs, and cleaned up my craftroom. She did this all on her own accord without being asked. She even took some flowers from an arrangement that dad brought me and made a new arrangement for our kitchen table surrounded by our fall pumpkins. I have never been more proud to see my little girl live out her calling. I just thought it important to remember that younger woman includes our little girls.

    And to the young Sara with a heart for young girls, bless you. I often watch for girls just like you and encourage my girls to watch you. They have much to learn from your example. Thank you for the commit you've made at such a young age. My 10 yod does watch girls like you and havs often mentioned that she's a older girl to some of the little preschoolers in our church. Little girls do watch and you are obviously giving them something very worthy to look to as a Titus 2 example.
    posted by Karen
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 5:26 pm
  10. I really love this post and all the ladies comments. The world would have us believe that homogenous socialization is "normal", but I have found that as with everything else, God's Word is the final Truth even regarding friendships. I have a number of younger women in my life (our relationships orchestrated by the Holy Spirit!) and have been blesssed by God opening doors for me to mentor these women formally and informally, individually and in groups. It is so beautiful because as with all Spirit-led serving, not only am I able to be a vessel for Christ's love to flow to my sisters, but also God's hand is evident and it elevates my own relationship with Christ so much. I have friends my own age, older and younger and we often meet all together. It doesn't feel strange, as our culture might sway us to believe. It is God's way. Sometime "empty nesters" feel that they have finished their season of interacting with children. That is not God's way. He desires for us to share our wisdom with the younger women so they will understand the Rock that is theirs to stand on regarding raising children. It always comes back to the Holy Spirit as Debby said. We MUST be open to His call, His guidance, His direction, even if it is out of our comfort zone. That's how we experience miracles! Thank you Kimberly and all the ladies for your thought today! I love you!!!
    posted by Brenda Knee
    on Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 5:38 pm
  11. May I just say that mentoring was a very scary thought for me. But God, in His infinate wisdom has enabled me to share my experiences (some good, some bad) to mentor a young mom in our congregation. The joy in seeing her grow in the Lord, the impact that it is having on her children, and the way her marriage is blooimg is, I'm sure as much of a blessing to me as it is to her. It is evident that this is so needed in our church, family, and community. We need to use what God has taught us. I think sometimes we feel that because we don't have it all together, or maybe we haven't done it all perfectly, that we have nothing to teach. Believe me....we do! We can understand the struggles, frustrations, questions, and fears because we've been thru it. I'm a firm believer that God can and will use our failures as well as our victories to His Glory and the good of others if we will let Him! I praise Him for what He's teaching ME as I teach others.
    posted by Didi
    on Friday, November 6, 2009 at 8:07 am
  12. Titus 2 is so essential to all women!!!

    I love this subject...As an older woman...while mentoring to younger women...I have seen God working so much of Himself into the lives of younger women and in the process He also is pouring Himself into the lives of Older women...

    As we become the Titus 2 woman...there are so many God given blessings and benefits God gives to us ...
    Let me mention a few:

    Blessings come to older women as we become obedient and willing...it starts with our decision to put ourselves out there to minister into the lives of younger women...as we exhibit Godly examples...we bring Glory to God...

    Once we open ourselves...we begin to receive the blessings, workings, and spiritual growth God desires to give us as we mentor...we also watch God working in the lives of the younger women we mentor...

    God promises through His word to give us everything we need as older women to be a vessel of mentoring, help, and encouragement to younger women...and...with His Word, the promises of His Word, and the working of The Holy Spirit...we begin to see something else happen...God will go the second mile...and do a deeper work...

    God begins a deeper work into our own lives and into the lives of those younger women... Our immediate families, loved ones, friendships, and aquaintances, begin to take on a deeper meaning and significance...You will see those younger women's deepest longings, desires, hopes, and prayers, begin to receive answers from a loving God who cares deeply about every detail of their lives...and He also is working things out for the good in our own lives...what a blessing God is...

    God is so good...because as the Titus 2 process goes on ..the younger woman is being prepared...to carry the mentoring torch to the next generation...

    Women need each other...and sometimes, we can be our own worse enemies...Which makes the lessons of mentoring so essential to our spiritual growth...Mentoring is worth our stepping out...

    Older women...if you are not mentoring...Pray for the Lord to give you the desire and power to obey Him to become a mentor...to take the chance...

    Just be obedient...share the truth in love, teach younger women, share the truth in love, and pray...God promises to take care of the rest...And He will do it!!!

    1 Thess. 5:24 says..."Faithful is He that calleth you who also will do it through us..."

    I pray this encourages all of us to step out and be a Godly example to the younger women God places in our paths...If we will be obedient...God promises to work through our lives into the younger womans life...

    As I read Alexis comments she mentioned ..."wishing she had a older woman to mentor her"...I am willing to mentor Alexis...

    Nancy Leigh...I am so thankful for You and the ROH team...and the wonderful accomplishments Father God is working in and through You and throughout the ministry of ROH...I am praying for you with an everlasting love. I always thank God for You...

    blessings, love, and prayers to all of the older women for the example they exhibit to younger women...and to younger women...give older women a chance...pray, seek God's face, ask Him to bring that Older Godly...woman into your life...

    May we all grow in the grace and knowledge of Our Lord, Jesus Christ...

    Nancy...I look forward to hearing what God will say through you about this subject of Titus 2 "Biblical Womanhood"

    Missy Krukiel
    posted by Charmain Missy Krukiel
    on Friday, November 6, 2009 at 10:46 am
  13. As a 62-yr-old widow, I am having a season of life where I am getting to spend more time with the Lord and allowing Him to live through me. I am finding that as I surrender myself to Him, and allow Him to live through me then He gives me the opportunities to share with others. I did not deliberately set out to do this, but as I made myself available, then He gave the opportunities. He is so faithful at every time of our lives. I praise Him.
    posted by Carole Bryant
    on Friday, November 6, 2009 at 9:30 pm
  14. I have a sincere question on this topic. Any that would, please respond in a comment or to me directly by email - sheryl1700@yahoo.com
    I am in a position and season of life to have been given many opportunities to teach young ladies - "mentor" - "advise" I am so excited and thrilled with each opportunity - whether it has been one on one or a room full.
    However- I seem to struggle so much with the crushing disappointment that comes when one (and there have been many) that I have invested so much in - chooses to live in a manner that is contrary to the Biblical teaching.
    In fact, the most recent experience - this time accompanied by hurtful rebellious attitudes- was so devastating - I just quit a few things - and simply collapsed into a ball of self-pity.
    How do you (specifically) cope? What do I do to change? How can I learn to handle this? I have been in the ministry for years and it does seem that more "fall away" and "get trapped by the Devil" than actually "make it".
    posted by Sheryl
    on Thursday, July 11, 2013 at 8:58 am
  15. Sheryl, I know you know this, but you can't blame yourself for decisions that others make for their life. This may be still the growing season for her. Through Christ you have shared with her and prayed with her. Keep in touch with "Thinking of You" cards, and above all else keep praying for her. Ask the Lord to keep the things you have shared together not leave her memory. She may feel overwhelmed and her old life pattern is all she knows. You have shared now she must process. Please don't be discouraged, that only encourages the enemy. As our Lord brings you to my mind I will pray for you and your mentoring ministry.
    posted by Carolyn
    on Thursday, July 11, 2013 at 10:41 pm
  16. @Sheryl...Carolyn has so beautifully said, "This may be still the growing season for her." Turn your thoughts each time the enemy begins to bring you to defeat. Quote the verse in Hebrews 12:2 ~ "Fixing our eyes on Jesus, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross." Jesus suffered knowing the joy that was before Him! He set His eyes on what the Father had prepared for Him. Such is true for us as believers. God has prepared for us joy unspeakable as we stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ to hear "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." So why do we invest ourselves in others?? Not for the outcome (we leave that to the Heavenly Father), but so we can serve the King of Kings faithfully and spread the message of the Gospel! I am grateful to hear of your investment in the lives of young girls. Stay faithful, fixing your eyes on Jesus!
    posted by Sarah, with the TW Team
    on Saturday, July 13, 2013 at 11:56 pm

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