17 comments

Kimberly Wagner

I want a friend like that!

Posted on 11.17.09 by Kimberly Wagner
Topics: Loving God & Others, Mentoring

Do you have friends who point you to truth? Friends who offer the comfort of God's grace when you are hurting? Do you have friends in whom you feel safe women prayingconfiding your heart, knowing they will go to God alone with your struggles? I am eternally grateful for friends like that. They are gifts to me from the Father.

Women are normally wired to be social creatures. When there's exciting news to share, heartbreak, disappointment, or the need of a shoulder to cry on, we usually turn to a friend.

Within the Titus 2 passage there is a valuable word of exhortation that should be a vital aspect of our friendships: "Encourage the young women to … be sensible" (v. 5).

This one little word is packed with meaning. It's the Greek word sóphrón—to be of sound mind, self-controlled, temperate. To operate with this mindset is to use wisdom, taking the knowledge of the Word of God and applying it practically to the demands of daily life in order to live life to God's glory.

To be a "sóphrón woman" means that your behavior is directed by God's truth rather than driven by your emotions.
When faced with challenging circumstances, the tendency for most women is to react—not in wisdom—but with our emotions! This is where being a Titus 2 friend can be helpful. I have a few friends that I turn to when I know I'm not operating with a sóphrón mindset, and my request is, "Speak truth to me."

Do you have friends like that? Are you this kind of friend to others?

A "Titus 2 Friend" …
You may be reading this post and thinking, I want a friend like that!

Be a friend like that. And then ask God to bring friends into your life who will point you to truth when you are struggling.

How about it? Will you develop Titus 2 friendships? Women need these kinds of relationships.
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  1. Yes, I wish I had a friend like that.
    posted by Carol Fernell
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 9:43 am
  2. Thank you, Kim for this great post! I'm so thankful for the Titus 2 friends God has brought into my life in the past 4 years. Thank you for being one of those Titus 2 friends to me! Only God knows the deep impact it has had in my life and the life of my family. To Him be the glory!
    posted by Vivian
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 9:45 am
  3. Yes...I really wish I had someone to talk to. I mean, TW and ROH is good but sometimes I really wish I had someone (around my age - 30 or 40) that I could sit with and talk to face to face - someone with a solid faith and straight head on their shoulders. I mean, I have older women (in their 70's) that I love to talk to but there is such a gap in our ages and their lives are totally different than mine right now.
    Don't get me wrong...I do get alot of truth and wisdom from those older women...mostly because they're all I've got right now but it sure would be nice to find a thirty or forty-year old to sit with and talk to.
    posted by Jodi
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 10:35 am
  4. I find too, that it is hard these days to find a "good" friend who will stand by you when you need them most. It seems most women are too "busy" running to meetings, sporting events and such! Recently God has been giving me opportunities to meet some caring people. I'm thankful for that because for a long time I've been needing a friend. I'm a stay-at-home mom with a business out of my home and I do feel isolated a lot.
    True Woman
    posted by Carol
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 11:00 am
  5. Our culture so often leaves little time for one of the most needed gifts...time to cultivate deep, godly relationships that draw us near to the throne of grace. But what if we are intentional about how much we take on in our schedules? What if we say no to some good things so that we can enjoy the simple, life-giving gift of friendship? I know the challenges are real. I've found that the longing Jodi expressed is common...I don't so often have a chance to share time with women my age, but I joined a home group with women my age (I don't have kids), and love the relationships I've developed there. I have MS and I'm home nowadays more than ever in my life. The upside is that I have been able to cultivate rich relationships and to know the joy of Titus 2 relationships--both as the older woman, and as the younger woman. The blessings are so rich...and we grow and mature most in these relationships that are truly 'spiritual adoption.' Maybe the things we value most need the most deliberate care to cultivate. I'm thankful for relationships!
    posted by Sue
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 11:59 am
  6. Thank you Kimberly I prayed fervently for a friend when I was in my 20's. God sent a friend the next day who invited me to Ladies Bible Study down the road! And I got saved! I've prayed for specific types & # of families -2 ATIA families) and a friend told me "2 ATIA families are coming to the homeschooling meeting." I knew God answered my prayer. Face Book is also a blessing with caring Christians to daily jot a note, picture & words of encouragement And this site has ladies I love through the years. I know you by name. You even sent me letters & cards... & prayers I love you ladies; such a gift!
    posted by Leslie Dawn Neagle
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 12:03 pm
  7. I am blessed to have such friends, not many but JUST right! God is so good that some of them are even my sisters! (yes all three of my sisters are such friends to me)
    www.kniteang.blogspot.com
    posted by Denise
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 1:32 pm
  8. Thanks Kim for your words of encouragement. I have been praying and asking God to send me a TW friend as you have written about. As of yet I have not developed that type of relationship, so for now I am seeking and study the TW 40 day Heart Preparation so that I too will be that women for my new friend that the Lord will send me. So I will keep praying and seeking the Lord in my study time. God Bless
    posted by Cathryn
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 2:20 pm
  9. Yes Kim, I have about 7 or 8 friends like that, what a blessing! God has been so good to me. I floundered and struggled as a very lonely person most of my first 38 or so years of life just desiring a friend like this. One who shared a common bond and who I could have a mutual trust with. I think since I went so long without that I am ever so more grateful for the friends I have now. They tell me the truth even when it hurts which brings the peace of God when I hear the correction for what it is. They encourage and lift up when needed and they give, give, give from their hearts! Everything from advice, their time, hope, love and even physical gifts... What a picture of God's love!! When I came into their Bible Study group I was so hard and didn't trust anyone! I had so many walls and bitterness built up that it has taken a few years for God to peel off those layers and He has used my friends (in Him) to show me His love and His mercy and grace along with using other means... It aches knowing that their are women out there like I used to be, hurting without anyone to confide in or trust. My prayer is that God brings those souls into our presence so that we can show them His love and His truth.... Thanks so much Kim, you are such a blessingl!!
    posted by Barbara
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm
  10. Kim,
    This post not only reminded me of how important it is to have TW to turn to, but to also be a TW to others.
    Also, it reminds me that w/o those TW's where might we fall.
    To Jodi,
    I am a forthy, and I care for you sister. Plz, don't feel alone.
    <3 Michelle
    posted by Michelle
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 7:34 pm
  11. Kim, I was reading Titus 2 today and was reminded once again of these principles from God's Word.
    Jodi, I understand your struggle. I have many dear friends that are 60+ years and older. Some of these dear saints pray for me regularly. It has been difficult this past year to connect with ladies in my age group because of busy schedules and family or church commitments.
    I keep praying for some dear friends , but in the meantime, I've asked some younger girls to come to my house on Sat. so that we can share Scripture together and bake in the kitchen. This helps me to keep focused on the Lord.
    Be encouraged.
    posted by Kathryn
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 8:07 pm
  12. I have a friend God sent to me many years ago. We have been through so much together,cried buckets of tears with and for each other, cancer,family triala,family truiphant,/failure. We have discussed things that jst God,her an dI know and will be the only ones will.
    We have shared births,deaths,car accidents,menopause,moods,what ever
    posted by Charlotte
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 9:37 pm
  13. I am blessed that I have a group of women to whom I can turn. We meet every week for dinner one night and share what is going on. We're all very different in many ways; none other than I profess Christ as Lord for one thing. Nevertheless, we share, not gossip, but care and concerns and joy and laughter with one another and God provides me with opportunities to share my faith as well. Confidences are kept and we trust one another. We jokingly call ourselves "Menopause and the City" after that other show that used to be on TV. I am blessed, indeed.

    I love what you wrote, Kim, and your list is so helpful. Thank you so much.
    posted by ann
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 11:32 am
  14. Dear Kim:
    Thank you so much for your post. I am thankful for the friends that God has brought into my life. They have enriched my life. However, sometimes I do long for flesh and blood "True Woman" friends. I can relate to what Jodi is saying. I'm in my forties, my children are grown, and I am a homemaker. I am also in the minority at my church because most women my age are working outside their homes, and are understandably very busy with their families, etc.

    So yes, Kim, I long to have a friend like that, but I love what you said. You encouraged us to be a friend like that! By God's grace, I hope that my friends could say that I am a friend like that, though I know there is much room for improvement. Thank you for all the Scripture about how to be a Titus 2 friend. I will look them up. Also, I will echo what the other ladies have shared. I am very thankful for the ministry of ROH and TW. When I connect with these ministries, I don't feel as alone, because I know we are all like-minded in living counter-cultural lives for the glory of God. God bless you!
    posted by Arlene
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 4:09 pm
  15. Kim:
    I do have friends like that I and long to be a friend like that. This post has put on my heart to invite younger moms over for fellowship and for me to encourage them. Thanks again for a scripture filled encouragement. :-)
    posted by Paula
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm
  16. I wish we could look beyond the color of skin in Christian small groups. I've participated in several small groups in which I was the only person of color. Any time the ladies were partnered with me to be prayer partners etc, they seemed disappointed and never responded as Scripture teaches. I've reached out and to build relationships and they are not open. Many of the ladies would speak one way during our small groups sessions but afterwards they would close their circles. I lift their names in prayer for the Lord to move in their hearts. You see I want the friend that you mentioned in the message and I'm not looking at skin color. I'm looking at the fruit!! Our God is amazing and good!!!
    posted by Maria
    on Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 6:51 pm
  17. Maria,

    The Lord Bless you and Keep you and Honor, Favor & Reward you for your heart that is right, pure & godly in its response to the situation you described above. My heart just aches at what you spoke about, but also rejoices and is taught, instructed & inspired by your humble and godly response in it. You could turn away, close off your heart and become angry, hurt & bitter, but instead you lift them up to the Lord in prayer. What a lesson, what an example and what an inspiration! It reminds me of Jesus and Stephen both who cried out "Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do." - "Lord, lay not htis sin to their charge." That is the True response of a heart full of Christ-like Love and is following The Example the scripture sets before us. I myself have been guilty of prejudice - in many different forms - and have been the object of painful rejection and prejudice from others. My prayer is that The Lord would help us to truly search our hearts and confess the sin, pride, selfishness and fear that leads us to react in unloving & un-Christlike ways and receive the Love, Growth & Grace that would transform us and help us to let go of our self-aggrandizing & self-protecting ways so that we are able to Truly SEE, LOVE, BLESS, EMBRACE, & HANDLE People (ALL People) as God in Christ Jesus does and desires for us to also do. O God, please do it in our hearts and lives and grant us the grace to desire, yield, submit to, embrace & cooperate with Your Holy Spirit to do so in us in the Mighty Name of Your Son Jesus Christ, Amen & Amen!!
    posted by Elizabeth
    on Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 7:35 pm

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