22 comments

Erin Davis

Never Grocery Shop Alone

Posted on 11.16.09 by Erin Davis
Topics: Relationships with Others

It’s time to grocery shop.

I’ve made my list, checked my budget, and clipped my coupons. There’s only one thing left to do—call a teenager. teen girl with grocery cart

What? You don’t take teenagers with you on your weekly runs to the grocery store? Let me encourage you to start.

For years, I’ve been passionate about mentoring younger women. God has given me a hunger for living out the principles of modeling godliness and training younger women laid out by Titus 2. I’ve focused most of my efforts in this area toward the teenagers I encounter at my church.

Despite my passion, for many years I struggled to make time for mentoring. With a busy work and family life, I found it really tough to carve out the time needed to take girls out to lunch, attend their school and sporting events, and engage them through individual counseling and Bible study. Despite my best intentions, I just couldn’t keep up with the demands on my time that mentoring required.

Then I discovered the secret—never grocery shop alone. Now I make a conscious decision to invite girls to come with me as I run my routine errands. I take them grocery shopping with me. I invite them to hang out with me at home on days when I have nothing more exciting or spiritual to do than laundry and cleaning. I ask them to come over and help me cook dinner. And you know what? They love it.

I’ve stopped trying to schedule mentoring. I’m done trying to model godliness from inside Starbucks. I simply invite girls into every crevice of my life. I live transparently in front of them, and I work hard not to miss any teachable moments when the opportunity to speak God’s truth in love presents itself.

They payoff is two-fold. Lessons about maintaining a godly home, loving my husband, raising godly kids, and serving those around me are better learned by doing than by hearing. Modeling is a better teaching tool than preaching. Because of that, I am able to impact the lives of the girls I mentor more effectively. The payoff for me is sustainability. I have time to mentor because I weave it into the fabric of my real life. I can’t imagine that I’ll stop going to the grocery store, cleaning my house, or cooking dinner for my family any time soon. Every one of those activities provides a built in opportunity for me to live out Titus 2 in front of a pair of younger eyes.

You can be a Titus 2 woman. You can have a huge impact on the next generation. You can be a truth speaker to the young women around you who need it so desperately. It all starts in the produce aisle.

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Comments

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  1. I loved the intriguing title for this blog entry, I had to click on it right away.

    And thanks for the great idea! So simple, yet so practical, and such a natural, common sense way to mentor our daughters.

    Thanks!
    http://www.pressed-flowers.blogspot.com/
    posted by Elizabeth
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 10:11 am
  2. I love this! My own daughters are bored at the grocery store but I take them sometimes and have them run to get things as we shop and explain what I am doing while price checking and using coupons. My hope is that they will see the benefits and learn from these times. There are so many lessons in everyday living. I look for opportunities to incorporate teaching through the physical things we do and the visual things about nature and the way things work...There is an analogy everywhere you look! For some reason driving in the car together has been a good time for us to talk and me to teach. Seems like we are all just having to stay put and not going in different directions so traveling places has us sitting, listening and speaking! God is the Creator and He can give us the creativity to make every moment be grounds for teaching and imparting valuable lessons in young girls lives. Thanks Erin!
    posted by Barbara
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 10:24 am
  3. Excellent. This is also a passion of mine. In fact I have Titus 2:3-5 as part of my purpose statement. I have began two mentoring ministries in churches I've been in, I'm a pastor's wife, they seem to go well, but I'm not satisfied yet with how we are doing this. This is a great post and encouragement for me to look for every moment to live out Titus 2. I love what you said about 'inviting girls into every crevice of our lives...' that is great.
    www.jodylynne.blogspot.com
    posted by Jody
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 10:28 am
  4. Wow! What a great post and a GREAT way to mentor! Thanks, Erin!
    posted by Sarah
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 11:28 am
  5. I love this Erin. And it's not only true for teens. I'm so crazy busy in ministry, yet I've felt like I'm not connecting enough with individual women. I think your idea would would for me, too. Why not invite one of the ladies I teach on Sundays to go with me in the car when I speak in churches, and yes, even grocery shopping! If we want to connect in deeper ways to live out the Titus 2 mandate--there will always be a way if we LOOK for it! You've inspired me! Thanks, Erin!
    http://heartchoicestoday.blogspot.com
    posted by Dawn Wilson
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 11:32 am
  6. Thank you for this post. I have taken my teenage daughter shopping many times but have never thought of it as an opportunity to mentor. I love to have her friends come to our home and be a part of our daily lives and run errands with me and now I can see how precious those teaching moments can be. Thanks.
    posted by Lauralee Reimer
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 12:27 pm
  7. When my daughters were in high school, I home-schooled them. Our Wednesdays were "Economics" and we went grocery shopping together. It was wonderful! Some of our best conversations we on errand day. Erin, thank you for reminding me (us) that true mentoring is in the every day. Now, I need the Lord to send me a teenager!
    posted by Miyoshi Gardner
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 12:49 pm
  8. Thx for the post, I have a daugter who is 10, and I know that the world calls her name on a daily basis. Both my kids love homeshool and our close network of friends. I think the time we spend with our girls is so valuable. And "our father" gives us this time to train them up in the way they should go. Why would we not obey. It is our reward on earth.
    My son went to an Early College H.S. this year and misses homeshool very much. He was ready for the challenges of the world, through God's teachings.
    IT is our duty and honor to raise the children that the Lord gave us.
    posted by Michelle-Cali.
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 2:46 pm
  9. Dear Erin:

    I think the young ladies you minister to as well as mentor
    are very blessed indeed! Thank you for the investment
    you are making into these young ladies' lives.
    posted by Arlene
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 3:47 pm
  10. Thanks Arlene! As is so often the case when we serve others, they bless me more than I ever could have imagined.

    Erin
    posted by Erin
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm
  11. Great idea, now for those of us who haven't got a clue how to talk to them can you do a blog on where to start the conversation?
    posted by MaLinda
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 4:05 pm
  12. "And you know what? They love it. "

    Who wouldn't love an unrealted (not a mom or dad)adult that does pay attention to them for a change! That is pure love, Biblical style!
    posted by Ewa
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 8:19 pm
  13. Does anyone have any ideas on how to mentor mothers who have small children at home with that same concept of doing life together?
    posted by kathy
    on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 8:22 pm
  14. I would LOVE it if some woman would take time out of her day to come mentor me while I mother my little ones!! If that's what you meant Kathy, I sure hope someone gives you ideas on how to start that up because I am certain some young mother would adore and benifit from your time given. We young mothers (if I may presume to speak for us) tend to feel a little forgotten at times.

    Erin, your ideas were a gift to me (something to hope for in the future that is). If ever I get to where I think I might be of use as a 'Titus'y' sort of woman, I hope I don't forget this post.

    Peace, love n' blessings to u both.
    posted by Jenny
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 2:01 am
  15. This is not only an excellent idea for teens... but it could be used for women, who say... didn't grow up in a home environment that taught them the 'how tos' of basic life like preparing a list for shopping, creating budgets and developing a routine to get done those things that need to be accomplished to manage a home.

    I know for myself as a single adult I hear this way of reaching out to teens and want to cry out... please someone help me learn how to budget, plan menus, create a list for shopping and stay within the budget set... I more often than not just 'wing it'...

    If God chooses to bring a husband into my life... I am going to have a hard time figuring all this out... and even if I remain single these things would be valuable to know.
    posted by Ali
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 10:29 am
  16. Jenny, Stay at home moms are my heart. In the past I have just sat and talked/encouraged some moms while they clean out a closet. I don't know where you live, but will pray that God sends someone your way.
    posted by Kathy
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 2:45 pm
  17. Great post! And from my own experience (on the receiving end!) it is very true! God laid me and my sister on a godly lady's heart when I was fresh out of highschool and she reached out to me (have no idea why, except for God's grace to me!) and eventually took me into her own home and family. I was able to see first hand true Christianity at work in the life of this family! I look back on this woman as the one who has had the most impact on my life for Christ!! I am a pastor's wife with three kids (ages 4,2,1) today and I am attempting to practice the same outreach and "life touching life" ministry in my home as she did for me!
    Someone asked for ideas on how a mom with preschoolers can mentor and/or be mentored...one way that has worked for me is to have another young mom over for a "playdate" or just to "hang out" while the kids play and I (we) putz. And to BE mentored, again, just having my "second mom" or any older, godly lady in our house while life is going on (babies digging in potted plants, toddler needing her bum wiped, cheerios all over the floor, loads of laundry to fold and put away, etc.) has been gold! I love to watch them in action and to be able to ask "what did you do when...?!" I would pray for God to show you who that mentor could be in your life, and then when He does, make it a point to get to know her and then invite her over!
    Thanks for your ministry through this blogspot!
    posted by Kelly
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm
  18. Oh my, this is such a good post. I'm a brand-new wife, and I can testify that I would've been lost in so many areas if my mom hadn't mentored me in the produce aisle, the kitchen, the laundry room, etc. What a great double blessing you're giving these girls!
    http://hoperoadblog.com
    posted by Anna
    on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 6:53 pm
  19. Thanks Kathy that honestly means more to me than you could know (you offering to pray about that for me).

    May God bless each woman reaching out to other women to lift them up for Christ's sake.

    Peace, love n' blessings to you n' yours.
    posted by Jenny
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 3:00 pm
  20. MaLinda,

    Even to youth ministry veterans like myself, teenagers can been intimidating. Here's something you might not realize, they are just as unsure about how to talk to you. I have girls tell me often that they would love to have an "older" woman mentor them but they don't know who to ask, they don't know how to ask, and they don't know how to start the conversation.

    My advice to them is the same as my advice to you--just start talking. Don't say "I want to mentor you," don't try to jump right into tough discussions on big issues. Just form a relationship. Try on these conversation starters...

    " Would you like to come over for dinner..."
    " My kids really love you, would you join us next week for an afternoon at the park?"
    " I've got some errands to run tomorrow, I'd love to to take you with me and get to know you better."

    Easy, right?

    Just start talking. Begin with hellos at church. Ask them how school is going? Find out what they are interested in and bring it up in natural conversation. The truth is you befriend teenagers the same way you befriend women your own age. Spend time together, let the conversation flow naturally and don't be intimidated. I have found teenagers to be open, fun, and great conversationalists.

    Unfortunately our blog schedule is packed so we won't be doing an entire post on this any time soon. But I promise to file it away in my "someday" file.

    Erin
    posted by Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 7:20 pm
  21. Kathy,

    I love that you are thinking in this direction. I am actually a young mother with small children. I would jump at any opportunity to be poured into by another woman. Seems to me that you can use the exact same strategies I suggested in my post. Here are some specific spins you could try.

    1. Stick to the grocery shopping plan. Call up a young mom and ask if she wants to go on a grocery shopping date. Explain that you will both be shopping together and that you're tickled pink to have the chance to be an extra set of hands while she shops. As a mom of a toddler I can tell you I would jump at the chance to combine the mundane task of shopping with great conversation and a little extra help.

    2. Invite her over for lunch. For moms who are home all day with little ones the afternoon can be pretty boring. I am sure any young mom would love to be able to come over just to be out of the house. Don't plan a big fancy mean. Serve sandwiches or leftovers (remember there is value in weaving mentoring into your real life). Let her kids play in your living room and let her kick up her feet and enjoy some adult company.

    3. Ask if you can tag along on a trip to the park. For most of us moms of toddlers the park is a weekly stop. Tell her you'd like to spend some time with her and ask if you can accompany her and her kids on their next trip to the park. No planning, to big tadoo, just join her on a park bench as she watches her kiddos navigate the monkey bars. I know she will be thrilled to have your company.

    Hope this helps!

    Erin Davis
    posted by Erin Davis
    on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 7:28 pm
  22. What a great thought! I too have been struggling with how to fit in time to mentor the girls in our youth group. I hope to take action on this idea next week and start involving them in my day to day life. Thanks! :)
    posted by Becky
    on Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 12:12 am

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