Almost everything in life that has lasting value is sometimes hard. Marriage is no different. But in Christ we can grow, change, and our romance can get better and better. Here are five things not to do in your marriage.
There once was a girl who dreamed that one day she'd find the perfect man, well, perfect for her anyway. And when that man came along, she knew he was the one! They "fell" in love, married and eternal bliss ensued. Well, not exactly.
Parenting can challenge the best of marriages, but parenting a child with special needs can push two people to their limits. It would be easy for this difficulty to tear our marriage apart, but God has used it to knit our hearts together instead.
I married a humble, godly, romantic man at twenty years old. Every girls' dream, right? Yet, exactly two weeks into marriage, I wrote this in my journal: "Why am I so unhappy? So scared and confused?" Surprised? I was, too. Getting married was more than I could have asked for, for none of the reasons I expected.
My forty-two-year-old single friend never thought her miracle would come driving from the west in a white suburban filled with children who would change her life in such dramatic ways. But in holiness and purity she was ready to welcome this miracle from the hand of God.
"I had no feeling, no hope—none. I blamed my husband. Before marriage I had high expectations and then total disappointment. I gave more condemnation than love. But now I realize I had put all my hope in my husband."
We thought we were prepared for everything that happened in a normal marriage. What we weren't prepared for was when things went awry. My friends and I had made our plans--marriage, children, grad school, etc.--and they were not coming to pass as expected.
You're right, it does take two to make a marriage work. You can't do this alone; you must have the Author of marriage leading, impressing, and directing your heart. Together, you and He can impact your relationship with your husband. You have His word on that. He doesn't hold out false hope.
Is it possible for a woman to out-earn her husband but still have him be the alpha head of the house? Perhaps it is. But it would take a concerted effort on the woman's part to drop her alpha mode down with her briefcase when she walks in the door.
There's God's ideal for male-female relationships, and then . . . there's reality. Often, that reality is less than ideal. Sometimes, it's nothing short of horrific! In this six-minute video, Mary Kassian, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and their friends steer clear of simplistic answers and . . .
There's a parallel between this fictional movie and how couples relate in marriage. Andromeda grew and adapted to fit itself for survival, and as strange as it sounds, our marriages need that type of tenacity!
I don't think you'll ever hear this in pre-marital counseling: "We'd like to love each other, get married, have kids, start arguing, lose respect, and then go through an ugly divorce!" When nobody desires this initially, why does it happen at such an alarming rate?
What does the actress Cameron Diaz have in common with Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team? They’re both publicly recommending that we chuck the “dying institution of marriage.”
At one particularly difficult time during our marriage, my husband threw up his hands in exasperation and said, “I tell you what we’re going to do! From now on you do what you want to do and I’ll do what I want to do. I’m not going to keep going back and forth with you about who’s going to lead this family!”
For the most part, George and I had much in common. However, his ideas about roles within marriage were diametrically opposed to mine. The idea of being a doting, submissive wife was archaic and distasteful to me. I had not seen that example growing up and had no desire to break the generational mold cast for me by the women in my life.
"I think we are all basically entitlement freaks. Here's a good test question to find out if you've made progress in humility and gratitude: Ask yourself, 'Am I surprised that my spouse loves me? Do I think I am such a good 'catch' that of course my spouse should love me?'"
“I was at my wits end with my husband. We’ve been married just over a year and have had some of the worst verbal, knock-down, drag-out fights of my life! We’re like junkyard dogs with a bone—ain’t NOBODY gonna take from us what we believe is ours."
It all started after years of a quick shout from somewhere near the back
door, “Goodbye, honey. See you tonight . . .” which left us both
wanting more. It stopped when we decided that before we went out to face
our day we would scout the other out, wrap each other up in a warm
embrace, and begin our day with an intimate, very married, six-second
Some men make multiple decisions throughout the day in their vocational
role, while also carrying a large load of responsibility, but when
entering the doors of their home they feel inadequate and fearful to make the
While this alpha woman trend is celebrated by those who have swallowed the feminist/egalitarian claim that male-female roles are interchangeable, the reality is that the majority of alpha women are dissatisfied with their breadwinner status. It appears that an alpha woman married to a beta boy puts an unnatural strain on a couple’s marital and sexual relationship.
When Lorna’s husband began drinking heavily, she decided that the answer to her problems was divorcing him. But through an “only God!” encounter, Lorna realized that divorce wasn’t the answer; God was.
A lack of commitment is normal in our society. It's like it’s even expected. Think of how often you hear “no commitment necessary.” Whether it’s a gym membership or an email subscription service, I know that I usually want to know what the terms are for getting out of what I have just signed up for!
Some women are so needy for attention and affirmation that they cling to men like plastic wrap to a piece of raw meat. But women who try to quench their neediness through relationships with men are usually left feeling parched and dry.
Sometimes I think we see ourselves as more spiritual than our male counterparts. The Truth is the Holy Spirit lives in men who know Jesus as vibrantly as it lives in our own hearts. Men aren’t given an extra dose of the sin nature any more than we have been given an extra helping of self-control.
“How far is too far?” How much can I mess around with my boyfriend before I cross the line? That’s the question that Christian girls usually ask. But I don’t think a young woman can figure out where to draw the line until she figures out why God created sex and what it’s all about.
When my husband and I were married over 30 years ago, I didn't know what
I didn't know about marriage, men, or relationships. I knew that I
loved Bob and that I wanted to be with him until “death do us part,” and
I thought that was enough.
My family just had the enormous joy of celebrating my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary. Seizing the occasion, I asked my mom to come up with a few tidbits of marriage/relationship advice to share with you on the blog.
Pastor Ligon Duncan says when we learn to revel in the counter-cultural truths of Scripture of how men and women are to relate to each other, we suddenly find that far from being stifling, they’re liberating!
Although we usually focus on True Woman events here on the blog, I wanted to go in a different direction today and share with you the story of one woman who is finding healing in her heart and marriage through the True Woman message.
For reasons I won’t go into, I spent several hours this past weekend combing through my Bible, looking up each reference on divorce and remarriage. I asked God to help me come to the text without an agenda or desired outcome—I just wanted to hear His heart on the whole subject. What I found took my breath away.
If marriage is patterned after Christ’s covenant relationship to the church, and its most ultimate purpose is to put THAT relationship on display, then staying married is not primarily about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. The aim is markedly different.
Whether it’s waiting for Jon to pick out just the right screws at Menards, riding in the passenger seat as he searches for the perfect parking spot, or just wanting him to do some task differently (a.k.a. “my way”), I can so easily go down the impatience path.
There is much debate in the Christian community over the touchy subject of role distinctions. One camp argues that the wife's role of submission was the result of the fall. If this were the case, I would have an even greater struggle with submitting!
Do you cringe when you hear the "S" word? Do thoughts of wimpy women held captive under a domineering husband's authoritarian rule come to mind? Sadly, submission is greatly misunderstood and often misapplied.
There’s one Southern phrase that I’m quite drawn to: “Steel Magnolia.” I love the phrase, because to me it speaks to the essence of womanhood. The image melds beauty with perseverance, softness with backbone, delicacy with durability, sweetness with stamina.
Today, let's consider how we express our femininity in more substantive ways than time spent in malls, dressing up for dates, collecting hundreds of lipstick colors, or the love of “Southern Living” décor.
My husband, a pastor, eventually reached a crisis of faith brought on by his inability to reconcile the question of God’s power to transform. You see, he watched me begin every day on my knees in prayer and in diligent study of the Word, and yet I was a terror to live with.
A godly wife inspires a man to be worthy of her devotion. He rises to
that because he knows he has a woman who is an asset, not a liability—a
woman who supports, encourages, and helps him in every way possible.