Broken sentences came in gasps interrupted by pain-filled sobs. My daughter’s sorrow, relayed from six hundred miles away, took me back to a familiar loss. “The doctor thinks . . . it looks like . . . the baby probably . . . died at six weeks.”
Rachel entered pregnancy glowing with expectancy. Bubbling with excitement, eleven weeks ago she phoned me within moments of reading her at-home pregnancy test. Her deepest longing is for children, and this would be her first.
The miscarriage came in the early morning hours the day after the doctor’s visit. A womb emptied its treasure far too early, a daughter delved into pain deeper than she’s ever known, and questions fill the empty spaces. But my heart returns to the known when facing questions which hold no easy answers:
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).
We are not the first mother and daughter to grope through the dark gloom of anguish; to feel our way along the darkness. The people of Isaiah’s day were held captive, dwelling under the shadow of death. It seemed the Lord’s face was hidden, but when the Messianic prophecy was delivered it became the promise of light to those in the thickest night. This child foretold would dispel their darkness, for He is the Light of the World.
In my darkest moments, His name forms on my lips and darkness flees. He is my Wonderful Counselor when there are no easy answers. I am confident He knows best and all He does is good and right. He is my Mighty God and I can trust Him to shoulder my pain. Because He is the Everlasting Father, He has gone before me to know what each moment holds so I never enter uncharted territory, and I’m never alone. As the Prince of Peace, this Holy Child was hailed by the angels as the gift of peace, and He is my provision of peace.
Darkness, anguish, loss, sorrow, and pain are familiar attendants in a fallen world. Shattered dreams and barren wombs bid us to return to these solid truths as our reference point. And these are the truths we hand down to the next generation when firm ground begins to crumble. Focusing on the character of Christ becomes the North Star leading back to fixed and immovable foundations.
I encourage you to spend some time today reflecting on this Child who was born and will return to rule. How has He served as your Light in the darkness recently?